Jones
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep
The sound of blaring alarm jolted me out of the darkness. Opening my eyes, I saw a white ceiling. Glancing to the left I see a gurney, doctors surrounding the bed with police officers standing at the rear. I can hear the argument between one officer and a nurse, the nurse screaming the person on the gurney is a patient while the officer demanded that they cuff him, even in this state.
Looking closer, I saw that it was dog man. He was covered in blood. He seemed to be staring at me, mocking me.
Swish
My eyes were covered, the cold hand hiding my view. a low voice spoke, the murmurs unheard by me. A nurse and two other staff appeared, unlocking my gurney, and rolling me down the hall. I was led into a secluded room. After checking my IV and wiping my face she left. She didn't say a word.
How humanitarian.
****
Gen
"Detective Davis, will you go in" an officers voice echoed
Gens shoulder shook.
Looking up, he realized he spaced out.
The boy.. he can't stop thinking about him. Is it pity? An obligation since he caught the assailant almost too late?
"You should go. I think it would be better for him." She whispered
…
Knock knock
Entering the small room, I greeted the boy on the bed. He seemed so small and slim. How is he 19?
The urge to protect cute loveable things hit me again.
Clearing my throat, I placed my hands in clear view on my legs as I sat down next to the bed.
"Hi Maxim. I'm Officer Davis. You can call me Gen if that makes you more comfortable. I'm here because I need to ask questions about what happened so I can help you the best I can. If that's okay?"
The boy nodded, his hair bouncing and lips pursed.
Embarrassed. He probably felt ashamed.
"First thing I want to say is it's not your fault. Things happen and while unexpected and hurtful, is not the end. Those things will build you up to a new person, and you'll be able to construct your life around healing. so don't worry.
I don't judge and would never scorn or make fun of your pain and what you've gone through."
****
June
"You're a soldier. A survivor."
Hearing this I teared up. It's like my exact worries were heard and I've been worrying for nothing.
I couldn't stop it. Tears fell down my face, my fears of death releasing. I really almost died.
Officer Davis held my hand silently, not saying anything. He waited until I was done to ask for my statement.
I decided to call him Gen from then on.
"Humiliation will humble you. Humility will lift you up. You will get back up." He added, patting my back.
"Here's my card. There's always a spot in the academy for you- if you want to channel your anger into something else."
Statement in hand, Gen turned to leave.
"Thank you," I whispered.
As if right on cue my parents burst in-
***
After exchanging contact and briefing my parents on what happened, my parents walked in. There were pamphlets in my mothers hand from Gen, but she stuffed them in the trash.
"How can you still be my son?!" She screeched
Of course.
What did I expect?
My father approached me. I was reaching to hold his hand to tell him nothing happened when he slapped me.
Crack
The sound was crisp.
"And you cried!?"
Crack
My tooth bit into my lip.
Blood dripped out the corner of my mouth.
"I'm sorry, father."
"You disgust me. Men in this family don't cry. You're the victim? The fact that you didn't beat him hard enough and had to be saved by the cops is humiliating enough. And now I see you crying? How can my family have any face? You will get it together by the time you leave this hospital, or I will kill you myself!!"
Crack
I just want to sleep, I thought. I'd rather put my life on autopilot. Can't somebody else drive for me? I cried inside.
A voice inside me said,
Is that really what you want?
Yes.. it's what I want. I don't want to feel emotions. I hate who I am. I cry so easily and I'm weak. My parents hate me. I just wish that if it can't all end, that I wouldn't have to go through it. Maybe then I'll be able to be strong willed, becoming a proud son.
Crack
"You will never speak of this. When you leave, I will send you overseas to your grandmas. You will learn self defense, and will be schooled on the bearings of a man. Come back after finishing school. I'm done with you"
Crack
What if you had to give up control? What if your body did bad things.. and what if you didn't like it and couldn't stop it? Then what?
As long as it's not my older brother.. or Gen
Are you sure?
I don't know if was talking to my imagination, but something reached out to me. It said it could save me.
It's most likely just me comforting myself in my mind.
Yes. I am sure
Crack
"Honey stop…!"
….