-Brat, drop the gun.
Willfest had managed to calm his trembling.
-You said I could use it to defend myself, that's what I'm doing.
-No one is your enemy here, boy, I won't say it again, drop the gun.
Something strange happens with Gran, in the reflection of his eyes there is only hatred, it's like looking at a hungry wolf, he has nothing to lose, if I have no choice I'll have to kill him, someone who has nothing to lose is dangerous even for me.
-They are all my enemies, I am alone in this world, but this is what I wanted, not that I was able to kill, congratulations, you did it.
-I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
-Willfest don't fuck with me, you think I haven't heard them talk, how weak I am, how I'm no good, excuse me for not being up to the task of a knight I haven't even heard historical records of him, but don't worry now I can kill as easily as you can.
-Historical records I don't understand a damn thing you say, but I did consider you weak and now you are even weaker than before.
Willfes' words were like throwing a lit match into a powder keg, no doubt he attacked it.
-Very predictable brat.
Willfest went straight for a counterattack, but what he didn't expect was for me to go straight for his attack.
Boy are you an asshole or... why do I have this feeling that... the brat wants to cut the tendon in my hand, shit he's going to get there first.
Willfest stopped, leaned his body back and sent a kick straight into my face as he was half crouched down to cut your wrist.
We both fell to the ground, he was knocked off balance and I was kicked in the face, I started to bleed from my nose.
-You're stupid, being reckless won't do any good.
Willfest quickly recovered, it was the first time he had ever looked at me as if I was a threat.
-If you hadn't come along, Fress would never have betrayed me, Bert would be alive, it's all your fault, you idiot.
-Think what you want, but the truth is, if I hadn't come along, Fress would have betrayed you anyway, and as for Bert, don't blame me for your incompetence for not being able to protect the people you love.
-You're lying!!!
I went straight to stab his leg, but he grabbed me hard by the arm I was attacking him with.
-Brat, if you keep going, I'll break your arm.
-Go ahead and do it, but let me tell you a secret Will, I'm ambidextrous.
I threw my dagger to my left hand, I had finally been able to catch Willfest, but despite that, he managed to half dodge my stab, I managed to crack his armor, causing a deep gash in his leg.
-You fucking brat," I shouted in fury.
With the handle of the sword he hit me hard on the forehead, making me fall dazed to the ground, then he pounced on me, hitting me non-stop in the face, I had stopped counting how many blows he gave me until I was unconscious, the last thing I managed to see was that someone stopped him.
I don't know how long I was unconscious, but I was still in the same place where I had fallen, my face felt all swollen, my head was going to explode, I looked around me, Willfest was sitting on a stone with Arthur, while the latter was cauterizing the cut he had made in his leg with his red-hot sword, he didn't even wince when they cauterized the wound.
He is a real monster.
Roy was lying on the floor, Wallet was still unconscious, though he occasionally let out a sound or two from his mouth, the other 2 guards were eating some dried meat.
On the other side was Lay sitting on a tree trunk while hugging her knees, it was melancholic to see her, she was still full of blood.
-What the fuck have I done?
I looked at my hands, they were clean, but they didn't feel that way, to me they were bathed in blood.
By what right did I call her a murderer when I just killed someone, I am worthless.
I can't stand these thoughts anymore, I don't want to see death, blood, pain, I'm desperate, I don't want to live like this anymore.
It was even hard for me to cry because of how swollen my eyes were from the blows Willfest gave me.
-FUCK!
I shouted until I couldn't take it anymore, they all stared at me, they didn't see a person in me, they only saw a burden, a loser, someone strange that doesn't belong to this time, and the worst thing is that they were right.
I noticed that my dagger was still next to my hand, I held it in front of me, my dagger had Hero's name engraved on the blade, she had the dagger that had my name engraved on it.
Forgive me Hero, but I can't do it anymore, I am a coward who never deserved you.
I was ready, I knew what I wanted to do, I didn't want to live any more, I knew what I had to do, I grabbed the dagger by its hilt, I put the tip of the blade towards my neck, I was going to end my life.
-You idiot brat.
Sir Willfest realised what I was going to do, he immediately ran to stop me from doing it, but when I put my leg that had cut him, he fell to the ground.
-Great stop," he shouted from the ground.
But it was too late, I had made my decision, I didn't want to suffer any more, but when the blade was just inches from my neck, someone grabbed my dagger by the blade, stopping my death.
Both drops of blood and tears fell on my face, Lay had stopped my dagger, but when he grabbed the blade he cut his palms.
-Let me go, I don't want any more.
-I know how you feel, but this isn't the solution, Gran.
She managed to snatch the dagger from my hands, then threw it away from me.
-Why, after I said something horrible to you, why do you care what I do to myself?
-You said you wanted to be my friend, you're the first person to ask me in all my years, that made me happy, because I knew I still had something I thought I had lost long ago... you don't know how much it hurt me when you called me a murderer, but if you're dead we can't fix things.
She hugged me and lifted me up a little, I hugged her back, I was crying as usual.
-Forgive me Lay.
Someone else came up to us, Roy put one of his arms on my shoulder.
-Man, you don't have to carry the weight alone, so let me join your club.
Arthur helped Willfest up.
-You're getting old my friend.
-What do you mean, Arthur?
-The boy Gran beat you.
-What are you talking about, I beat the shit out of him, look what I did to his face.
-Will, he made you lose your temper, something I've only seen you lose with that pig Mons, he drove you out of your mind, a war veteran lost his temper with a brat who fell apart with killing someone, plus Gran got to your kids, kids who are more worried about him than you.
-Arthur, why don't you go bother your god and leave me alone.
-If you're upset, it's because you know I'm right, Will.
-Yeah, if you're right he won me happy, that's what you wanted to hear.
-He's never going to be honest, is he?
-You know the worst thing of all Arthur is that you come to talk with your face totally serious, someday you should show other emotions to your face...Now go bother somewhere else.
Damn brat I really lost to you, age is making me soft.
Both Lay and Roy were cheering me up for a while.
-Hey I don't know how to go on, on one hand I feel like not killing is wrong, isn't it horrible, on the other hand my hatred tells me to do whatever it takes no matter what the consequences, I've been feeling my mind shattered, ever since Bert.... I'm going to be honest I'm afraid to ask you Lay how come... you know what I mean no.
I wasn't able to look her in the face.
-Yeah, I know what you mean, but I'm not ready to talk about it.
-Yeah I figured, besides I don't think I'm ready to hear your answer, so Roy how do you do it, how can you kill without falling into despair.
-It's not easy, at the beginning it ate me up just like you, when I was taught to hunt, I killed a rabbit I felt terrible, but my father is not one to allow that weakness so to speak, then when I was 13 I killed a bandit, it turned out that the thief was an old acquaintance of mine, his family had fallen from grace so he had stolen to eat, even so I did what was expected of me, it was a hard year, but I do what I do because I believe it's the right thing to do.
-Do you think you did the right thing when you killed your acquaintance for food?
-No doubt that was the opposite, but I promised myself that if I killed someone else I would do it to protect, not because I was ordered to, that brought me several problems with my father, but even so I have managed to climb the ranks, now I just need a knight or some important noble to recognise me to be a knight, although also a military achievement .... I'm going off the deep end, in short you have to find your own way.
If there's one thing I never thought Roy would have, it's that he has such a developed emotional intelligence.
-Thank you, in a way I understand that, but I don't know how to do it.
-Be cool, me and Roy will help you get through it. -We'll help you get through it.
-Boys, thank you.
-Brat you can count on my help, though I'm not as soft as my sons.
-Willfest...
Look at his left leg, he was limping.
-Sir Willfest, I apologise for attacking you.
-Don't worry, I've retaliated enough already.