The Doldrums village
After I kept thinking about it over and over again. Finally, my feet stepped into the village once again.
While I'm heading inside I check my phone and see the text on the screen. I received a message from my mum last night. I didn't press to see and put it away.
I get the urge to finish what I started. I always want something that is mine, which I have created as an achievement. I have tried to prove that I'm not the perfect girl like other people perceive me to be, but on the other hand, I have always tried to fill that void because deep down, I wanted to be that. But my mum knows that I am not her perfect girl. She always has doubts about me, which makes me doubt myself.
I moved to another city for my university, but I also wanted to leave that dollhouse. I tried to prove to her that I could stand independently despite having a messy family. I finished university one year early and tried to get a decent job. I had one and another one, to another. I got side jobs to earn my income so I could pay my bills and the apartment rent.
And now, I am doubting whether I have achieved that yet.
I have been repeatedly changing jobs because of someone else's problems and trying to protect myself from them. I don't want that anymore; I want to break that cycle.
I want to commit to it and reach that thing, whatever it is. Well, I need money, too, but it's a bonus.
"You're here, hello."
Mr. Laith greets me with a cheerful face and sound.
Mr. Laith waits for me in front of the Center building, and now I can see the color of the dark green slightly to the lighter shade on top.
"Hi."
"Let's meet our team."
He speaks to me with a joyful expression.
"We're not getting into the building?"
"No, we are going to our building. Behind this building…"
"Okay."
I follow him on the right side of the center building. This street does not have that many people compared to the main street village. And in the daytime, it has very different vibes—peaceful, I must say.
He stops at a building that is not too big or too small and has a unique style. It has a sign on the side.
It says PLAYGROUND.
"Here, let's go."
"…"
I follow him inside.
"Welcome to the playground, hehe."
Mr. Laith.
It looks like an arcade room. I look around, and there are a ton of games: arcade games, VR games, video games, the comfy long couch in front of the huge TV, the iron ping-pong table on the right, and the indoor basketball court.
Wow.
Then, Mr. Laith leads me to hidden stairs behind the wall.
"Team leader."
And the man's voice greets him before I take the last step.
"You guys all here?"
Mr. Laith asks.
"Yes, Emris... there."
The black-haired guy answers him and points at the big white-haired person in the ring.
"I would like you to meet our new member."
Mr. Laith.
"…"
And I walk to Mr. Laith.
"Roelle Reize."
Mr. Laith introduces me.
"That is Emris, who is training with a coach."
Mr. Laith talks to me, and the Emris guy glances at me.
"…"
I bow to him a bit like the first day we met.
I can see his body through his wet white T-shirt. Then, I hurriedly turn my face back.
"And this is Raden. You saw him fight that night."
"Good morning."
I greet him, and he walks toward me.
"Morning."
"And me… I am your team leader."
He moves his face closer to me and smiles excitedly.
"Before we start, I have to discuss the details first."
Mr. Laith.
"Details?"
"Yes, come here and leave them doing their things."
"Yes, Mr. Laith."
"Team leader."
Mr. Laith tells me.
"Yes, team leader."
"Good girl. Let's go."
He smiles and leads me to the corner of the room where the resting zone is.
It's a fish tank behind the couch with a bright blue color, and there's weird fish inside it. He sits on the leather-brown sofa in front of the tank. He taps on another leather couch next to him. But I decided to sit across from him on the black fluffy couch.
"That's fine too."
He tells me.
"Before we let you train… I want you to understand 80 percent about the general basic shadow… and 100 percent of your shadow."
"….80?"
"Because we don't exactly know the whole cell of them… they're different from one another, but there are some common traits…you need to acknowledge that."
"Yes, Mr. Laith."
"…And we train for that later… I want to ask you first how much you know about how the shadow begins to transform?"
"Umm, I only know that the shadow grows from the increasing traumas of the person, and it's accumulated over time."
"It's not totally wrong. But there are other aspects as well. There are not just the traumas or the depression… but also the actions like addiction. Of course, anxiety, traumas, and bad events in the past are the causes, but they also lead to actions and behaviors. Or just because of their own personal morality. Some people are just born to be that way, and we cannot blame it on something else."
"…I agree."
"Heh, and the person's shadow will get stronger and stronger when that person feeds them by feeling and being addicted to the fears or the baggage too much…and if the person doesn't have a strong mind or mentality, eventually the shadow will eat that person alive."
"I see."
"So you have a strong mind, I assume."
Mr. Laith.
"You too, then."
I tell him.
Do I?... Honestly, I still have my vulnerable part and only show that side with Xin.
"Hehe, I guess so…now you know the basics, let's get into another topic. You have to know different types of shadow forms…the first one is the Skinny shadow, which is the first stage of forming; the normal shadow of a person just gets into form. The second one is the Strong shadow, which is called the full stage of forming, like yours and mine. The third one is the Evil shadow; it conquers the owner's body and mind, controlling the person to do anything it wants."
"…"
"And the last form is Amalgamare. The shadow combines with the owner…like it gets inside the person, but the person still has his or her own mind. That person has both traits of their shadow and him or herself.
"…"
"Are you listening?"
Mr. Laith calls me after I go on silent mode.
"Yes, I'm just processing. And carefully listen to you. Mr. Laith."
"… Alright."
He softly answers me with a little blush.
"I have the shadow but don't know about others, so it's new to me."
"I understand."
He tells me with a smile.
"Is there anything else?"
I ask him. And he moves his body closer to me.
"Yes. You need to know the fight categories and which one you are going to compete in."
He tells me and smiles at me again.
He and his smile are very creepy, like his shadow on the floor, but why don't I feel uncomfortable?
He's a very cheerful person with a calm vibe. He is slightly different from other bosses or team leaders I worked with. The old ones tried to act cool and impress and wanted to get closer to me for those hidden reasons. Mr. Laith also likely gets closer to me physically. He has hidden reasons for sure, but not the dirty minds like theirs.
"Come sit with me here."
Mr. Laith.
"Ha?"
"You have to see them."
"Oh, I thought... okay."
I change my seat to sit next to him, and he points at the stage ring. There's a guy named Raden, with black hair pulled back and tied neatly. He's training, punching the boxing targets, which the coach is wearing in his hands. I wonder why he has to train since Raden is the one behind and orders his shadow to fight.
"Starting with Raden, he is the fighter who has to compete in 2 categories. The first category is the one he fought that night. We use the shadow to fight. We call 'SHADING Category' Raden, or the owner of the shadow needs to be strong up here and out here..."
Mr. Laith explains and demonstrates his hand gestures by pointing at his head and body. To be in the Raden position, one needs a strong mind and a strong body.
"And the second category is the fight using your body with your shadow together. We call it the 'MURKING Category' as you saw at night's first match. Raden occasionally competes in this category since we have no one to fill in. But it's going to change now because I will put you in the Murking Match."
"!!"
"What about…him?"
I ask Mr. Laith about the man with white-pinkish hair, the big guy of all of them, and glances at him.
"Emris? Heh, come."
Mr. Laith talks to me with a mischievous smile. I get up and follow him to the stage ring that Emris is on. He's very firm and big, and I can clearly see the line of the muscles on his body now because his T-shirt is completely soaked. He is very well-built. He must be extremely strong.
I see guys' bodies quite a lot at the gym. But why do I feel something is different from him?
"..."
I'm watching him train without blinking. I can see Mr. Laith's gaze on me while I admire him.
'...Roelle.'
"What do you see?"
He asks.
"...Him,"
I answer.
"..."
"Are you hypnotized? Heh."
Mr. Laith talks to me. And Emris turns his eyes to me.
"He doesn't have the shadow."
Mr. Laith corrects my answer.
"..."
I shift my eyes underneath him. He has a regular normal shadow, nothing creepy and nothing spooky.
"He is in the third category. The AMALGAMARE."
"!!"
I quickly turn my face to Mr. Laith.
Did he combine himself with his shadow…, for real?
"..."
I look back at Emris again.
Wow
'Stop looking at him. What do you see in him?... Do you like him?'
Yes… He's cool.
For the first time in my life, I can say the word like to the opposite gender without getting to know someone first. But it's not that strong emotion like a crush... I don't know. I am so drawn to his energy, and he looks very cool.
"The Amalgamare fight is like a regular fight. But of course, the toughness is on another level."
Mr. Laith continues.
"Want to start now?"
He asks.
"Yes."
"Nice, I like your enthusiasm.. even though your expression is not aligned."
Mr. Laith tells me and observes my face. I'm excited to start and try out, but I have to keep calm; otherwise, I'll be flurry and hasty. I have to control my body and also my mind.
"You can change your clothes over there, Roelle."
"!"
Then I pull the zipper down, take off my sand cream-colored oversized jacket, and lay it on the couch, showing the crop top sleeveless in the same color. My sporty pants are also the same color.
"..."
Mr. Laith watching me.
"C-Coach."
He calls someone.
"Yeah?"
"She's ready."
Mr. Laith tells the big muscular guy with a shaved head.
I get into the ring, switching with Raden. Mr. Laith also gets in as well.
"You take off the jacket?"
I ask.
"You'll fight with me first…The coach will observe you and your skill so he can understand your body and which part you need to improve or be focused on."
So, the coach analyzes my skill levels.
"Only me or...with him?"
I ask.
"Only you first, and please… bring out everything…so we can know."
Mr. Laith.
Should I?
'Give him what you got. Roelle, no need to hold it in.'
"...I'll try."
I tell him.
"Good."
He smiles at me.