You put out from your pocket a book sized portable TV and noticed a notification about new released video. Without a waiting you pres play.
Display lid up and a jingle introduce an (video-show episode?) from something that can be scribbled as a cooking session with an old fashion sea pirate ship captain. Even the stage clearly gave out a feeling that it can actually be a wooden ship.
Captain open its speech with iconic sea pirate accent, not care for (one star restaurant) decorum, and heavy over-gesticulating every sentence as if this chef sanity was half-full. "Ahoy, land rats!" This (sailor) on a spot, changed its tone as if it was a god time for a note or side message, so the (class) got a clear explanation or whatever. "(Or a clean coats and other genders, based on who watching.)" Yet the pirate was back on track as if there was two personalities. "This is captain speaking. In our prairie recipes cooking book show, we dive into real dinning culture of this age. Let us present you a real culinary gem, a booty that you can only enjoy, with the real road pirate, or mechanic covered by a machine oil. Arrr!"
"Actually, the story origin background is just to fill the boring waiting during moments of boredom. Who come up with this recipe? We don't care! Its don't matter, what matter is; that we, who work close with anything that having a photon engine, (no matter if its on size of frigate ship, or a road bike), know that those things can go from cold nose to cooking pan temperature, in seconds. So any bug or critter, that will sneak onto it to snuggle, will get cooked from inside out. (So many limbs got lost on that fact.) If its on heat sink radiators, they can be shaken off during ride, by sonic resonators. (That's why those things vibrate in first place. Its not just for dust. Its not a design flaw!) But if the unlucky wanderer stuck directly on engine when the engine awake, the corpse will needs to be removed, eventually. Yet we can use it for a different purpose."
Captain began preparing the questionable ingredients and substances into a dish. "If its in any good shape, (it depend), toss it into sanitizer. (Don't forget to set correctly the species or at last the kind, so the device will work correctly.) Select to remove the outer layer and internal guts or what ever useless stuff it still had. If you don't have sanitizer on hand... (No! We don't talking about hands sterilizer or tool sanitizer. Its not just about sterilizing stuff and killing other stuff. We talking about that machine for organic mass re-purposing.) Anyway, if you don't have this, then you will need to pick up you knife and remove the skin, fur, scales, exoskeleton and other useless stuff, the old way." As expected, the pirate with insane smile, shows a really sharp multi-purpose battle like knife.
"Then, lets second stage cook this mass into crispy state, until it itself will taste like a chicken. How you will do it, differs based on a method you have on hand. Some can use fancy kitchen and be done in minute or so. For many of us, the portable uni-cooker bag-grill is in most cases the first choice. Yet others, can go down the tech level onto sticking it onto a stick that hanging above the fire pit in middle of nowhere."
"Then we place the cooked critter, aka the main part of this dish, on the middle of what-ever you use as dinner plate. (Or you can manage without the plate entirely.)"
"Next step, is to chose the sauce. Some have they own sure to go option. But if you don't: Just grab a can of tomato puree. Pour it onto the side of the plate, to create a pool to dip a dry pieces on it. Or leave the can open in front of you, to dip the pieces directly onto it, or use whatever way you come-up on spot."
"Then, we can add some veggies. Kidney beans can work… (No!, grass is not a vegetable, even if the cats eats it for fiber. Use potato! Or a boiled corn whits is a fruit something. Yes, the tomato is a fruit.)"
"Before I forget, if you founded some bugs stuck on the engine, you can use them as a side dish. Just repeat the sanitizer and cooking steps, for them to get crispy. When you done, if you have a fancy plate, like the one from porcelain or such, (Clean!), place those on side of that plate. Like as if they are canapes, sticking out to be grab on one side, requesting to have the other side put into a sauce, like in those fancy sushi restaurants. (Actually if you have a lot of them put them into one spot like a popcorn bowl.)"
Captain bring out a (bottle?) of some beverage. "For a better feeling, don't forget to put a cold one next on table, and you have a Space rat on a photon engine. Arrr!"
"Yea, and one thing…" Pirate chef lean closer as if to speak an important advice. "If you put this in front of the clean coats: Rather not tell them, what kind of critter it was. Just say that there was an incident with a door on a chicken farm and it was not pretty. Otherwise, those clean coats will waste the dish on a trash bin. (In better option.)"
"Oh and last thing before I go. Do not!,- cook,- a plastic eaters! (Any kind! Paint, oil, any!) Seriously!,- Its not worth to even try. (A sad face of regrets is the only expression that will be left after that adventure.)"
"Anyway, that was our prairie recipe for this session and we see each other next time. From sea to land: Arrgh!"
With that the video record ended…
[End]