It was a time for a shopping. So I was walking around a market, glancing at merchandise of local vendors and they shops. Actually, i was not been any haste to open my wallet/ money bag, in order to purchase some wares.
Then, this totally sketchy pirate ship captain in his heavy coat jump in. Actually he sneak closer having this insane thick in his eye. The moment I notice him, he spoke up in his drunk like pirate accent. He growled at me while rolling around his pulled up eye. "Yarr!-- Ahoy! I see that we have here a treasure hoarder. Shall I offer you a direction to a wide Botty? If you are interested of course." He was a 100% suspicious, but a moment of hesitation on my side, make him to grin even more sketchy.
When he opened his coat, I half expected that there on inner side will be something like a showcase of goods of some walking sketchy merchant. Like in movies, where those long coats show to me his loot of gold, silver, pearls, gems and other valuables. Or at last a collection of stolen watches. Just, the things you will expect from a burglar, pirate or thief in a need to sold them for quick money.
Yet, I was not expecting the level of commercialization, that swallowed even this small freelance sketchy opportunistic businessman. He was selling a discount coupons. His coat, was not a showcase of shinning goods and commodity, but a ridiculous display of all type of coupons. (Buy one, second is for half) in local fastfood stand or a clothing boutique. (10% discount on your next purchase) in a hardware store. Or loyalty card points for various shop. Heck, even lottery strip as proof of shopping. Those can be exchanged on a shopping-mall lottery stand, for a chance to spin that wheel and maybe win a prize other that a pack of paper napkins.
My expression was like: (Are you serious?!!) I expected to deal with crime event that must be reported to closest police officer or at last, to a security guard. For that, even my blood got pumped in expectation of possible combat encounter. Except, now I wanted to slap myself, for hyping myself for no reason. Not sure if this is a clever local advertising attraction, or this fella is actually a real deal, who was forced to adapt to local economic situation.
The captain was only beginning in his bargaining. "Avast! I see that my stock catch you eye. Some of these cuties are directly sinful with they discount value. At right angle, we can call they final effect a booty obtained by legal piracy. Yarr!" He growl like if he was making a point.
(Dang! Those scetchy street vendors don't know what to do anymore in they attempts to scam people.) But on other hand, I was already involved to deeply in this stun. "Dang! I'm in. Yarr!"
That make that sketchy captain to grin from ear to ear. "Aye aye, matey. Pull up doubloons, we having a deal!"
...
A~and, that leads us to this moment. Where I standing here, with a bunch of coupons in my hand, ready to plan next steps in a shopping spree.
Wait… What are you trying to tell me? "That some of those coupons are expired?..."
Then I think, that is time for a real pirate accent. "Yarr! A man hunt then. Weigh the anchor! We setting sails for a hunting expedition, to reclaim our Butty. Matey, pick keys or wheel. Grab a weapon, net, or a harpoon for a certain one walrus. We have a person, that begs to take a Walk on Plank! Yo Ho Ho!"