Flitwick eventually kicked me out of his office when he relented and started day drinking with McGonogall, so I went back to my dorm room to make sure my owl Nyx was well-fed.
Once I spent some time with her as she nibbled my fingers and showed me an attitude together with Hedwig next to her, I sat on my bed to find out why I had been so confrontational and impulsive. After gentle probing with the two professors earlier, they were both surprised that I was so 'outspoken' for a change, and I deeply recognized that while it truly needed to be said... it wasn't my style.
Since my Occlumency didn't allow me to look inward and find what was wrong with a visual aid, this meditation session took a while.
Only when I remembered the branch of Occlumency that allowed me to sort of simulate certain events in my mind while looking at it in a detached, fully emotionless way was I able to pinpoint something. I was much more reckless than I usually was. Something had changed, and only one thing could do it so drastically in just a day: I had deeply miscalculated with the horcrux.
It had somehow managed to influence me.
What took the locket horcrux in canon months of prolonged wear when it finally made Ron, Hermione, and Harry super irritable during the horcrux hunt took the diadem only minutes. It must have been the smoke after I destroyed the soul anchor on the item, I judged after prolonged meditation.
Once I was sure that I found the source and the reason behind my behavior, I opened my eyes and breathed out deeply. I didn't know enough about curses and the mind arts to find out how to reverse this change quickly.
I was still fighting over whether or not I truly wanted it to change back. But thankfully, reason won.
Just as I decided to consult Madam Pomfrey, the door opened, and Isobel, Hermione, Lisa, and Harry more or less stormed in.
"You called him a b-... bitch!?" Lisa screeched angrily as she pointed at my face.
"We need to talk," Isobel demanded at the same time.
Harry and Hermione both looked on with stern grimaces of their own, though both for different matters as they waited near the door.
Looking at all of them for a moment before my gaze settled on Harry for a probably uncomfortably long time, I slowly said, "I didn't say anything wrong. He has something that's bothering him, clearly. And instead of talking to me like the friend I thought he was, Harry chose to make me wait for four hours and then not apologize for making me wait. On our... no. On my birthday. He had the nice day we both wanted for ourselves. I ate ice cream alone for hours."
Lisa's angry visage broke for a short second before it settled into an indignant frown once more as she rebuked, "That gives you no right! Harry is a wonderful man!"
"I'm sure he is. But he is a shit friend to me," I countered as I used all my Occlumency to ramp up my indifference to keep anger out of the conversation.
"He had good reason to treat you like that!" Lisa eventually spat, and my gaze fell back to Harry, who looked on sternly as his girlfriend seemed to speak for him.
"Oh?"
Seemingly steeling his mind, he ignored that Isobel and Hermione were in the room as he gathered his non-existant Gryffindor courage and spoke, "You've been using me the entire time. Quirrell, the Quidditch team, my godfather, the elves, my meetings with the headmaster. You've benefited from all of those circumstances without revealing your full plan once. You're the shit friend!"
I let that sink in for a moment as the two girls not in the know seemed to think about the circumstances Harry just named.
"Really? That's your argument? First, Quirrellmort died because you touched him with your mother's sacrifical magic still active. Are you telling me you didn't want to know that you can fight the dark lord with this power?"
"You made him kill someone!" Lisa angrily spat.
"And the Quidditch team? It was my influence that allowed you to fly on a Firebolt just like the world champions. Is it my fault that I'm the better seeker anyway? We both won eternal glory as the team that beat six long-standing school records... how utterly childish," I chided as I ignored Lisa for a moment. The room stilled when I was done. Harry's girlfriend lost a lot of wind in her sails already.
"And what's your gripe with me getting Sirius out of prison? Are you telling me I should have done it sooner? You're smart. If you had read the newspapers yourself and worked out that Sirius never got a trial, I wouldn't have needed to get involved. So what if I got a life debt and access to the Black Library out of it. I got what was owed," I continued on as I stood up from bed and walked over to the people still standing near the door. Of course, technically that was a bit hypocritical of me. I knew to look because I knew from the start that Sirius was innocent and Peter lived as Scabbers with the Weasleys.
"I don't even want to know how I benefited from you finding out that you have seven loyal and devoted house elves. You're the one who finally has a loving family and a golden spoon in his mouth as the last scion of one of the richest and oldest families on the isles while I'm still all alone. And as far as I'm concerned, your meetings with S are your own fault. If me strategizing with you and giving you countless hints on the matter are not enough, you need to find a little perspective. Sure, you're the boy savior every Death Eater wants to kill. But then why is it me whose life was threatened four times since the start of Hogwarts while you weren't attacked even once?"
I walked past the group as Harry and Lisa visibly deflated, my arguments finding root in their minds that were filled with supposedly righteous indignation before our conversation.
"Isobel, Hermione," I called out, and both girls started following me with unsure frowns.
Now that I knew Nyx was fine, I was thinking that maybe I could sleep in the RoR again.
Isobel bit her lower lip, her expression complicated, as we walked down the stairs back to the common room. Before we reached the last step, she softly called out, "I want a second chance!"
My Occlumency was still tightly keeping my mind under wraps, so while I would have usually immediately agreed to get one of my best friends back, I instead merely asked, "And do you recognize why I was so cross with you despite you standing with me after my parentage was revealed?"
"You don't agree with ostracizing Luna. Hermione and I spoke about it... I didn't even truly realize what was happening. How little sense it made for all of us to simply be against her just because she is a little different," Isobel unsurely stated with a weak voice.
"Bullying someone because they are different, if taken to the extreme, is what made muggles as a whole see nothing wrong with witch hunts. Sure, the reasons behind the movement of the Catholic Church were much deeper and more complicated, but the common populace didn't fight back once it started because they feared what we were capable of since we are different. It boggles my mind that magicals still find the energy and reason to mock someone for being different."
After that particular argument, I stood still and turned to look into Isobel's eyes as I asked, "What do you stand to lose because Luna talks about magical creatures you never heard of? What if they truly exist and you and everyone else are just ignorant? What if she has a magical ability that makes her unique, and she can see these creatures that nobody else can see?"
"Okay, okay, I get it already! I'll apologize to Luna personally... just don't look at me like that anymore," Isobel cried out as tears were forming in her eyes.
I slowly reached up and felt my face. My active Occlumency bottled up all of my emotions, and I looked entirely indifferent despite saying something I was truly passionate about. I knew why she was so upset seeing me like that.
With a small, deliberate smile I put on despite the Occlumency, I took a step forward, leaned to the side of her head and whispered into Isobel's ear, "Now that I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, please help me spread my arguments on the matter. And I'll tell you a little secret in return. Luna and I see the same things. But to me, they are just colors."
Ignoring how Isobel was blushing up a storm, I turned to Hermione and asked, "Did you want something from me as well? Would you mind if we did it while on the way to the infirmary?"
She quickly shook her head, and the two of us made our way down from the common room as we walked to the hospital wing. The studious brunette was still thinking through what I revealed to Harry and Isobel before, putting what she learned into perspective.
Since she didn't talk, I did as I revealed, "I'm not taking potions anymore. At least not with Snape."
"What!?" The brunette witch asked with wide, horrified eyes. "B-but that's a core subject! You won't be able to graduate without getting a potions grade!"
"I'll still do the exams, just not at Hogwarts. Apparently, anybody can do that," I revealed and explained the circumstances and restrictions behind me getting out of having to sit in a classroom with Snape.
"I hope you'll still be able to get good grades... I'll let you work on our assignments with me," Hermione offered with a small blush once she thought it all over.
"Eh, sure. But I'm on my way to see if I can't score an actual tutor, at least for a certain niche of potions," I accepted with a grateful nod.
"Oh?"
"You'll see," I said with a mysterious smile as we reached the floor with the hospital wing. "By the way. You're a prodigy in potions. If I gave you a recipe to research, could you do me the favor of brewing the potion for me? I'll sponsor the reading material and the ingredients, of course."
"Does it have something to do with your wish to become an animagus?" Hermione asked thoughtfully instead of agreeing immediately.
"I knew you'd get it. You are smart like that," I praised and opened the door to the infirmary before she could respond.
"Mister Macnair? It's barely been a day. Why are you here already?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she looked up from the freshly made hospital bed she was sitting on. There were no patients in the room, and it looked like she was taking a small break.
"Madam Pomfrey. We've seen enough of each other that you may call me Talion. I thought we already established that," I waved away with a wide smile.
Her frown didn't lessen as she pointed out, "But that was before you became an adult."
"True. No more guardian that you could tell all my little troubles," I nodded as Hermione and I walked over.
"Troubles?" Pomfrey asked and saw Hermione, who was walking quite close to me. She gained a knowing smirk and asked, "You're here to gain a potion for your young love? I personally taught Miss Granger the contraceptive charm, like I do with every first year witch. Was she too shy to explain that to you? Still need some other tips from this old lady?"
Hermione was completely frozen in place, her eyes comically wide as her face started to heat up. I, on the other hand, was completely caught off guard and didn't stop the mediwitch from saying anything else. Once she was done, I raised a brow and merely asked, "Shouldn't you teach such a spell to the wizards, too? What if a witch only pretends to use it or simply fails casting it and ensares a young man in her life with a baby he didn't want or didn't know could come to be?"
"Huh. You actually raise a good point," Pomfrey said after pondering the matter for a short moment. "Though it has happened less often during my time here at Hogwarts than you probably think, I'll bring it up with the board."
I shrugged because I also already knew the spell. That book by the muggleborn who had 'unsavory opinions about gender roles', according to Flitwick, did feature all kinds of spells a man should know for the bedroom.
I just read and practiced them for completionist's sake.
"Well, that isn't why I wanted to talk with you. Lovely Miss Granger and I are not dating," I pointed out as Hermione was still petrified next to me.
Pomfrey, apparently adamant to embarrass us both, looked Hermione dead in the eye and said, "I've seen most of him naked after he bulked up with Flitwick's help. You could do a lot worse for your first time, even if it's just casual."
"Madam, if you're feeling frisky, I saw some particularly raunchy novels the last time I was at the public library. The muggles made smut into an art-" Hermione cut me off from escalating this clearly embarrassing topic by holding my mouth shut with her hand as she finally moved once more.
Gently prying her hand away after giving the young witch a reassuring nod, I spoke to an amused looking Pomfrey, "I'm here for two things. I need a prefect or a staff member to spend time with me during my free study when I'm no longer attending potion lessons. I was hoping to do that here with you whenever you allow it. Becoming a healer isn't in my future, but I reckon there can't be a healing spell too much one could learn. Plus, you must know your way around a cauldron as a healer, and I'd gladly help you stock up your potion inventory if needed."
Pomfrey's cheeky grin vanished as she regarded me for a while. Eventually, she spoke up and said, "I'll have to inform the headmaster and get his approval. But I'm not adverse to you being here if you know how to be discrete. You'll have to swear a magical oath of secrecy if you want to help me with more than just healing a scrape or handing out a mere cure for boils potion. Filius had nothing but immense praise for you, after all."
"I'll have to thank you then regardless of the outcome of your talks with the headmaster," I said as I gave the mediwitch a small bow.
"And the second matter?" Pomfrey asked, clearly intrigued.
"I need a second opinion. After getting exposed to a dark magical artifact, I think I've become more reckless. Despite my preparations and precautions, I might have gotten myself cursed."
Hermione gasped, her eyes once more getting more air as they widened comically again. I should have started a count for this school year because it might have been the fifth or sixth time she did that in my presence since sitting in the compartment with me on the Hogwarts Express.
"Take a seat," Pomfrey immediately ordered and dragged over a chair with a wave of her wand.
-----
[POV: 3rd person inside Dumbledore's office]
"You should have kept your wits about you, Severus. He was taunting you quite openly," Dumbledore said with a sigh as he watched a ringed silver artifact spin in place on a shelf in his office. "And why was Draco not warned of staying away from the boy? Nothing good ever came of your godson antagonizing Talion."
"I don't know. I told Lucius again and again to order his son to keep a lower profile," Snape commented with a completely indifferent expression.
"With tensions high and Talion speaking of his mother's and your past so openly... you should do well to keep your temper in check a little more. Minerva already informed me that Talion could only be kept at the school by allowing him to stop going to your classes. We can't allow more of the students to stop attending the potions class."
Snape snorted and commented, "The boy was unteachable anyway. He has no talent for the noble arts."
"That is the wrong thing to take away from this matter, Severus. Talion is a dangerous element. He is charismatic and, dare I say it, powerful. I have viewed a memory from one of my friends in Italy. He bested foes much older than him with absolute ease. His talent is bordering on frightening," Dumbledore solemnly stated. In a quiet voice, the old wizard added, "I should not have allowed Filius to take him on so young..."
Snape only snorted again, but the headmaster held up his hand and explained, "Four capable hitwizards tried and failed to deal with the boy in a premeditated attack. The fallout of that attack was that I lost all control over him once he gained his emancipation. Weeks later, he was set to lose all credibility among his peers with the article in the Daily Prophet yesterday, but he somehow learned of his mother's fate and instead gained the sympathy of close to everyone. I keep underestimating his resourcefulness, his political accumen and his charisma. He cannot become another Tom," the headmaster breathed out with a heavy sigh, seemingly filled with grief over what must be done.
"Those hitwizards were sent by you?" Snape asked with a lifted brow. The potion master had suspected his friend Lucius to be behind the attack and would have thought it to be the truth beyond a shadow of a doubt.
"They were not. I merely didn't see fit to stop them once I learned of their target. Fawkes would have intervened before they killed him... he shouldn't have been able to attend the tournament and gain allies outside of Britain," Dumbledore revealed, but whispered the last part only to himself. The wizened wizard straightened and turned to look at Snape as he ordered, "Stay away from him and tell your snakes. Every attack now only makes him more popular. And advise your good friend to keep his wits about him if he doesn't want to see everything he has undone by a mere... child."
Snape merely clenched his fists under his robes as he watched the headmaster wear a thicker robe and a hat, both distatefully garish.
"I will contact an old friend to see his thoughts on the matter," Dumbledore stated and walked over to his phoenix. "You reach out to the darker elements in your social circles. We must find out who dropped those dreadful pictures at the platform and Diagon Alley. None of my friends had a single clue to report about who was responsible for dealing with the attackers at the finals."
Before long, Snape was alone in the headmaster's office as he stared at the spinning artifact Dumbledore had stood in front of for some time.