The great All-Father had fallen into slumber, and the evil Loki had seized the throne. The people of Asgard were plunged into turmoil and suffering. They needed to return to defeat the evil Loki and restore a bright future for Asgard.
This was what Blake and Coulson heard from the four Asgardians after they got out of the car—yet another clichéd tale of justice and conflict.
Blake couldn't help but yawn.
"You're actually listening that intently, Coulson?" Blake said, unable to resist commenting on how engrossed Coulson seemed.
"It's a great story! An evil brother seizes the throne, and the prince must return to defeat him. Didn't you ever hear these kinds of fairy tales as a kid? My mom used to tell me stories like that all the time. I still remember my first picture book, *The Lion King*, the story of Simba—it's pretty much the same, except it was the king's brother and son," Coulson replied.
Blake rolled his eyes. "So you've been listening to this like it's a bedtime story all along?"
"Everyone, I understand what you're saying," Thor finally spoke up. "But my father said I cannot return until I've learned how to be a true king. If things in Asgard were really that bad, my mother would have intervened by now. It seems things might not be as dire as you say, right?"
Thor's words were probably the most sensible thing he'd said in the last 1,500 years. He was right—if things were as bad as they claimed, was Queen Frigga just decoration? She could easily command Heimdall to bring Thor back to Asgard, rather than relying on these four to sneak down to Earth.
"The Queen is busy tending to Odin, who's fallen into slumber. You must return immediately, or the Nine Realms will face war and disaster! We must save everything!" declared Volstagg, the most hot-tempered of the Warriors Three, his face full of righteousness as he passionately wielded his axe, slicing at the air as if it were an enemy.
"Pfft!" Blake couldn't hold back his laughter.
Suddenly, several pairs of eyes turned toward Blake and Coulson. Coulson quietly took a step back, leaving the focus on Blake.
"My apologies, everyone," Blake said with a smirk. "I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation, but what you just said..."
"Defeating the evil Loki, saving the Nine Realms—we represent justice!!" Blake mimicked their impassioned tone, standing on tiptoes and raising his voice dramatically.
"Exactly! All of that! It's just too funny, as if the Nine Realms will fall apart without you the moment you're gone!" he added with a mocking laugh.
The Asgardians couldn't fully understand why Blake found it funny, but they certainly recognized the condescending expression on his face. Volstagg took a large step toward Blake, his nearly two-meter frame towering over him. His braided beard quivered as he spoke.
"Are you mocking us? A mere mortal, mocking the gods of Asgard? Do you not believe I could use my axe to—"
"Hey! Volstagg, stop!" Thor quickly stepped between the two of them. He knew all too well how his companions viewed Earth—a realm of mortals, barren and inferior. He had shared that same arrogant view when he first arrived.
"You'd better teach him to hold his tongue, Thor. Another word of mockery against the gods of Asgard, and I'll personally teach him a lesson with my axe!" Volstagg growled, glaring at Blake while raising his axe in a threatening manner.
As soon as Volstagg finished speaking, Thor knew things were about to go south. After spending time with Blake, he had never once seen Blake back down from a verbal confrontation. Sure enough, just as Volstagg was about to turn away, Blake spoke up.
"Haha! Haha!"
"I think I just mocked him again, Coulson. I mocked a god! What should I do? Should I kneel and beg for forgiveness? Thor, what kind of god is your friend? The God of Wild Boars? Or maybe the God of Gluttony?"
"What did you say?"
Volstagg angrily stepped forward, but Thor quickly grabbed him, holding him back with all his strength. Thor frantically blinked at Blake, signaling him to stop talking.
Blake ignored Thor's plea and pointed at Volstagg. "You lot talk about saving the Nine Realms? Which realm needs you to save it? Who can you even defeat? Laufey, the Frost Giant? Surtur, the Fire Lord? Or maybe the slumbering Dark Elves?"
"No, no, no! You can't beat any of them!"
Blake wagged his finger lightly, looking Volstagg up and down with disdain. "The only ones you can bully are some malnourished kids. Where do you get the confidence to talk about saving the Nine Realms? Is it your scruffy beard or your massive backside that gives you such courage?"
"Argh! I'll kill you!"
An enraged Volstagg shoved Thor aside and charged at Blake, swinging his axe like a wild boar.
"See? I told you he's the God of Wild Boars. What do you think, Coulson? Coulson?"
Blake called out, but there was no response. When he turned around, he saw Coulson had retreated all the way back to the car, far away from the action.
"Damn it, Coulson! You've become sneaky!"
Blake grumbled, then turned just in time to sidestep Volstagg's incoming axe swing. As Volstagg's axe struck the ground with full force, Blake stepped on the back of the axe and yanked Volstagg's beard, using the momentum to leap into the air. He brought his knee down with tremendous power, slamming it into Volstagg's chin.
"Boom!"
A dull thud echoed as Volstagg flew backward, his massive body hurtling 20 to 30 meters before crashing into the ground, sending up a cloud of dust and sand.
"Oh, poor God of Wild Boars! I barely used any strength, and you're already flying! Hey, how's that butt of yours? Does it hurt?"
Blake raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, mockingly calling out to the distant Volstagg.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Sif and the other two Warriors Three drew their weapons in unison, their eyes blazing with anger as they stared down Blake.
"Hey! Mighty gods, are you planning to gang up on a mere mortal?"
Blake wiggled his index finger at them with a sly grin. "Come on! All at once! Just know, if you lose, no crying to your mommy!"
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