Today, I took my toaster out for a walk. Just it and me. Just..it and me.
It's been a long time since I last left the house. In order to not ruin this date, I ironed my clothes beforehand and took a shower with the special soap. The kind that smells really good and is pre foamed but is expensive as hell.
Combing through my hair, I try to make sure there is no bed hair. I remind myself of a sheep that hasn't been shaved for a long time. It's large and puffy yet kinda soft. I like it.
Though will they like it? I heard sleek hair is all the rage these days with some gel to give an extra shine. Shame, I don't have any
Buttoning up my suit, I grab my toaster carefully and unplug it from the wall socket. Putting it close to my side, I unlock the door and exit.
The light was almost blinding as I exited which made me shut my eyes. My heart beats in a rapid pace as I can feel the cold hard metal exterior touching me through my suit. The long cord coils around my hand as a red blush spreads across my face.
I swallow my saliva and continue walking through my front yard. Some fruit trees and flowers are growing due to my desire for free fruits. The grass is unkept as it grows up to my knees. Continuing up the gravel pathway, I reach the gate and open it.
My arms shake as I can feel the metal rub against my body, the cord tightens around my hand, strangling my finger into a light red. Blood continues to rush in my ears as my breathing quickens. Ahhhh what am I feeling, what am I feeling! God why have you made me this way! Why Why Why!?
It's just a walk, just a walk. I continue my way towards the park, the summer heat shines upon me, heating up the metal and causing me to sweat.
I panick as I can feel sweat accumulate on my palms, probably staining the pure metal with soft water droplets. I mutter apologies as I walk past a road.
I hang my head down as I pass my neighbors. Some looked at me with a questioning look while others didn't even notice me. Good, good.
It's fine Mr. Toaster. They don't know. They don't know. I stop as I turn the corner and wait at the concrete walkway. The light is currently red so I need to wait for it to become green.
As I wait, I can feel the heat of the toaster. A comfortable hearth that warms both my heart and skin. Once again saliva pools in my mouth which needs to be swallowed. My vision blurs slightly but I shake it off. I just continue to look at the sweat that fell from my face onto the toaster. The water just sliding off the shiny gray surface leaving a trail of residue. Its sickening, yeah sickening. Really really sickening. Stop blushing me!
I grab my ears to see if they are red and I remove them as I realize what I just said. It's warm though. Really warm.
I didn't realize that the light had already turned green and as I took a step, it immediately turned back into red. Sorry Mr. Toaster, I guess I got distracted.
Your friend, your friends. Don't rush or you'll seem desperate. You have to earn love god dammit.
I finally reach the park and pass the giant fence that surrounds it. Lush trees surround me as a dirt path spreads itself before me. I can hear the sound of dogs barking in the distance which sends shivers down my spine. But I have to do it, for the date. I want it to be perfect.
I take a breath and start walking. The peaceful scenery calms me down as I feel the wind brush past my face. The twigs softly crunch below my feet and an ambient buzz hangs in the air. The longer I walk the calmer I feel until my mind finally blanks.
Before I realized it, I spouted out words that I didn't have the courage to say.
"I love you."
Immediately my mind goes into panic mode as I wave my hands, stammering to justify my words. This was soon taken over by the fact that by waving my hands I have actually dropped Mr. Toaster.
My hands cover my mouth as I knew I couldn't react fast enough to catch it. I close my eyes, and small tears leak out. A weird noise comes out my mouth as I wait for the inevitable thud.
But it never came.
Peeking open one eye, I realized that the cord was still strangling my hand as the toaster hangs in the air.
…Does this mean yes?
It, accepted my feelings?
Ba dum ba dum ba dum BA DUM BA DUM
My heart beats faster as I pull Mr. toaster up. What was once a methodical drum beat has now turned into a concert out of my control. My hands pull Mr.Toaster deep into my chest as I wait there trying to calm down my emotions.
But I can't, an opened pipe never turns closed once the water rushes out. My fingers tingle, sending an electric spark up my spine. At this point my face is no longer red, it is crimson. Saliva leaks out the side of my mouth and small strings leap onto the grassy floor.
It's over, it is so over. I've gone mad. The madness has taken me and I cuffed its hand with mine.
With this new development. I walk home. It's only been half an hours since I left but now ... .im feeling for some toast.
******************
My tongue twirls as the "complex" flavors of bread and lunch meat have a blissful dance upon my tongue. My stomach gurgles as it demands for more sacrifices which are quickly fulfilled.
Taking a swig of water, I continue to chow down on my sad sandwich as I try to fill this hollow shell. Fuck my job, I just like money. You don't know what I would do for some green paper.
I ignore the concerned faces of my work associates as I eat my 6th sandwich. I hunger for more though. It's not enough. Never enough
Eventually on my 13th sandwich, I can feel a light tap on my shoulder as my head snaps back in irritation.
Waving a peace sign, I see a young lad whispering "Setting a new record huh?" before sitting beside me. Within his grasp was a sandwich similar to mine except minus the bread and it's actually steak, he watches me continue to devour my lunch while gazing at me with the look of a concerned parent. The one that they use when their children say " I want to become an artist."
Ignoring his presence, I rush to consume more of my lunch before he forces me into a conversation.
"So about the-"
Swallowing the meat, I spit out "I won't report you if you leave me alone.".
I guess he must of heard that I had to check recordings during his shift. Honestly, guys kinda scummy but he knows how to play his cards. And also he likes writing and shares them with me. I read them when I'm bored and give him reviews. I guess we are friends but I'm not sure.
Unfortunately, my "Friend" who's name I forgot began rambling.
"Oh thank god, I was so worried. I promise you that was just a one time thing, I've just been so tired with school and work and uh stuff. I'm not that lazy usually, I just needed a break, I promise."
Ignoring the fact that they already graduated and are single and it literally is their job to clean the kitchen, I really don't know how to feel about this guy.
Guys kind of an ass, but there is one thing I like about him.
"So about the world building. How was it?"
Finishing my 14th sandwich, I take another gulp of water, emptying the glass before I turn to him and prepare myself.
General rule I make to myself is to give at least 1 good thing and 1 bad thing. Unnecessary, yes but if the critique is for something stupid then he knows it was good, same with vice versa.
"I really do like the races, the hive mind being turned into a explosive factory is a really neat idea. However, the power system is kindof iffy. You have magic but also gods who grants power. Then also high tech which is just weird. I know that you used WarHa**er as inspiration but you need to create a connection between the things."
As I rant, his head nods as he starts digging into his cow flesh. Before long I finish and watch as he faces me with his hand raised. I watch him fake bite his hand twice each time he closes those fingers while leaving a single finger alone. The middle one.
Taking my own middle finger. I pretend to pop off its invisible cap before I spread it on my lips like lipstick before shoving it into his face while making a kissing face.
He returns this by interlocking his fingers together until it looks like a trident or as some calls it a triple middle finger.
Pulling out my ultimate move, I make a heart on my nipple before puffing my chest out.
A critical hit, I win.
As he groans in defeat I get up and reply with "ok bye, I need to finish a request from the big bad evil boss."
With a lackluster wave with his head still in his arms, I let out a small chuckle before leaving the cafeteria.