Jonathan fell off the back of his forrin, somersaulted, and landed square on his face. There were three things Jonathan hated about the Traders-end Highway. Firstly, the highway, if you could even call it that, was covered in tripping hazards, a spattering of unevenly placed cobblestones intermixed with shrubs and small boulders littered it's length. This made riding on the back of a forrin to be about as easy as balancing on top of a rolling log. Forrin were fast, but they were known for being the sturdiest animal. It was like riding a duck.
The second thing that Jonathan hated about the Traders-end Highway was that it slowly descended from surface level into a deep rocky gorge, the sound of small stones echoing down the sides of the gorge did nothing to quell Jonathan's fear that at any moment he could be pancaked by a hunk of rock. The sides of the gorge were also potholed with various caves and caverns where anyone or anything could be lurking. Not to mention the constant darkness, unless the sun was right above them, barely any light reached the bottom of the gorge. Jonathan had to rely on torches to light the way. Luckily, there were quite a number of them in the supplies they had stolen.
The final thing that Jonathan hated about Traders-end Highway was the constant anxiety. At any point they could be attacked by bandits, goblins or any other sort of cave dwelling creature. It made a lot of sense why the Empire avoided this place. Since they had descended, Jonathan had kept his spear firmly in hand, no not his penis, his weapon. He was doing his best to put on a brave face in front of Saikhi and Talitha. On the bright side, his spear, his penis this time, not his weapon, was doing a lot better since he had purchased those firestokers. Although he had to be careful not to blow through them too quickly, he had already used five of the precious pills in the span of two days.
Jonathan's companions were faring much better than he was. Talitha was her usual, stoic and strong self, more vigilant than worried. Saikhi on the other hand hadn't stopped writing since the moment they had reached the bottom of the gorge. She constantly muttered things about "natural goblin habitats" and "interesting rock formations" as she jotted down her notes. Jonathan was just impressed that she could see what she was doing in this lighting. It turned out that both ashborn and heldra could see much better in the dark than humans could. In fact, when Jonathan had asked, he found out that most other races had much better vision in low-light than humans did, navigating in the dark, and subsequently stubbing your knee on the coffee table, was a uniquely human problem.
"Master, are you ok!?" Saikhi looked up from her notes and jumped down from her forrin. She crouched down to Jonathan, who was just kind of, laying there, thinking.
Jonathan pushed himself up off of the ground and wiped the dirt away from his face. No lasting damage, just a few sore muscles. He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah… I am fine, I think I might walk for a bit." Jonathan stammered as grabbed the reins to his forrin. Talitha jumped down from her mount to inspect her chieftain for damages. He was fine. 'How were they so good at riding those things?' Jonathan thought to himself incredulously.
"Oh good, you don't look injured." Talitha smiled. "It is getting quite late anyway, I think we should set up camp soon." How Talitha was able to tell the time was beyond him, everywhere Jonathan looked around it was dark-o'clock. Talitha pointed over to a cave entrance they had just passed. "That place looked secure enough."
"Sure." Jonathan led the group to the entrance of the cave. He squinted as he tried to peer into the cave's depths. The illumination from his torch barely revealed the chamber inside. "Do you see anything?" he asked as he stood just outside the entrance.
"Nothing dangerous." Saikhi said as she walked in. "It looks like it is just big enough to fit us all comfortably."
"Doesn't look like it goes very deep either." Talitha added.
Jonathan relaxed as he walked in behind them. If the girls said it was safe, he was going to trust them. He found a raised area within the cave to set down his gear before starting to gather the tinder from Stew's satchels. Something caught his eye though. Something the size of a large dog. It was crawling on its stomach, a pulsating riveted body. A giant larva? Jonathan needed to act. He didn't know how his companions could have missed something so big. He grabbed his spear and pointed it towards the threat. The spear elongated and ran the larva through. He had swiftly dispatched the threat.
"Master? Why did you kill that cave cleaner?" Saikhi asked.
"Cave cleaner? Did you see the size of that thing!? It could have swallowed my arm whole!" Jonathan shouted as his spear returned to its original form.
"But they are harmless. They only eat moss... I think they are endangered." Saikhi pouted.
"Oh. I didn't know. I'm sorry" Jonathan stood there uncertain what to do, the 'threat' he had just dispatched posed no real threat at all.
"Don't worry, they taste delicious!" Talitha chimed in. "I've never had a fresh one before, only the preserved kind that we use to get from sacrifices to the forest. I was going to catch it after we had the firepit set up."
Jonathan's stomach turned "I think I will pass on that one." He retired early, having slayed a dreaded beast…
Later that night Saikhi awoke Jonathan for his watch. She did so by poking him with her club. A method developed after the horny tentacle incident to avoid any unhelpful late night activities that would interfere with the safety of the camp. Jonathan took the last watch of the night when he could. It meant that he'd have some time to wake up before they began to travel again but tonight, he had opted for the second shift instead. It was the only time he could have a proper chat with Lily without the others noticing. Jonathan needed to ask the fairy about the mysterious creator of the firestokers. Not that he expected her to be very helpful on the matter.
"Master, it's your turn to take watch." Saikhi whispered. "Also. Did you have a moment to talk?"
Oh no, Jonathan didn't like those words, the last time he had heard them, the resulting conversation had led to him being dumped by his now ex-girlfriend. He really hoped that killing the cave cleaner didn't upset Saikhi too badly. Jonathan nodded as the pair moved over to guard the entrance of the cave.
"Look Saikhi, I am really sorry about the cave cleaner." Jonathan pre-empted. "Had I known they were harmless, I would have never-"
"It's nothing like that master." Saikhi interrupted. She pulled out the notes that she had been writing as they had entered Traders-end and handed them over to Jonathan. "Would you mind… reading this?" Saikhi looked down to her feet as she asked.
"Of course!" Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief. She just wanted to show him the writing she had been working on. Jonathan read the title. 'A Study on Traders-end Goblins'. It went on to explain the history of goblins, and the natural habitats of Traders-end goblins that lay within the gorge. Saikhi had a real way with words, each new sentence drew Jonathan deeper into the goblin lore. It then ended abruptly.
"This is great Saikhi, you are really talented! I didn't know that goblins spontaneously appeared in Adearath around 200 years ago." Jonathan smiled at the awaiting author. "We should get this printed once we get to Rainfell." Jonathan's words made Saikhi light up momentarily.
"But… we haven't seen a single goblin since we got here." Saikhi's face dropped. "How am I supposed to write about something I haven't seen?"
Jonathan was about to regret his next words.
"What if we go looking for them?" Jonathan said, stupidly.
"Really? You would do that for me master? Oh thank you, thank you!" Saikhi almost leapt for joy at her master's words. Jonathan couldn't bear the thought of disappointing her, but safety was still his primary concern.
"Yes, but from as far away as possible. We don't want to end up as goblin chow."
"Don't worry, goblins don't eat the people they capture, they usually just keep them prisoner and make them do hard labour their smaller frames can't handle. That or use you as a pleasure slave." Saikhi noticed the shocked look on Jonathan's face. "I mean they wouldn't use you as a pleasure slave, I mean the males wouldn't, the females still might, it's ok though, female goblins are actually quite cute if you think about it." Saikhi continued to notice Jonathan's shocked face. "I mean, it won't matter anyway, because as you said, we will stay as far away as possible." She smiled.
"Good." Jonathan said nervously. Saikhi really was a goblin fangirl. He had never seen her get this excited over anything.
"Besides, goblins would probably find us much sooner than we would find them. They can smell the presence of most species of females in their lands from over a mile away. It is really quite remarkable. They follow it like little scent trails." Saikhi smiled.
'Fuck.'
Jonathan stood up and turned to awaken Talitha. Before he could speak something round and hard knocked him on the back of the head, his vision faded to black.