R.B.R. BARRETO
He saw that love took on colors with different tones, but it was still love. However, what kind of love would be big and strong enough to transform in pearl every drop of our lives ?
When Kadir returned to the Palace, he intended to tell the others about the encounter he had had with the strange woman. However, everyone had already gone to bed. The guardian Yusuf welcomed him once again, guiding him to the rooms reserved for him. A large room, lit by chandeliers, a huge bed with two bedside tables, one on each side. On one of them, a copy of the Quran and a book by Rumi. The young man barely knew how to move in a room like that. Sleeping on a bed, with mattresses and pillows supported by a wooden frame, was the strangest thing of all. He didn't even feel it as comfort, but rather a challenge that took away his peace. He sat on the floor, opened Rumi's book and leafed through it at random. Immediately, a phrase stood out to his eyes.
"Without love, not a single drop would turn into a pearl."
For the first time in his life, the mystery of love occupied his thoughts. Could love be the key that Mrs. Zahira spoke of as being capable of opening all the doors of Paradise? He was lost then. What did he know about love? Where could he find it in his life, which until then had been devoid of affection and as dry as the sands of the desert? He remembered the encounters with his grandfather, his care and advice since he was a baby in arms, and he saw that there was love there. He remembered Amira, his nurse who had breastfed him and always taken care of him even when he became a young sheikh, full of independence and will. There was love there too. Then he searched his memory for some memory of his father or his brothers. He saw that in his father's rough gestures, his worried words and the slaps he gave him on the back, there was also love. He saw that love took on colors with different tones, but it was still love. However, what kind of love would be big and strong enough to transform in pearl every drop of our lives ? Where could anything so strong exist?
Because that kind of love had never been touched him before - he thought with sadness. He sighed deeply, stood up, put the book down, and went to the large, arched window. He drew aside the curtains and opened one of the flaps. Outside, the night was clear, and the moon cast its pale rays across the entire expanse of his view. He had never seen the world through a window. His days and nights in the desert had always given him a full view of the horizon. Now he had the feeling of looking at the world as if it did not belong to him, giving him a new perspective on himself and the reason for being there. Was it the absence of love that made him desire Paradise? Was his search a compensation for the lack of pearls in his life? This uncomfortable thought made him close his eyes. It was then that in his inner vision he made out two large pearls, black as night, which gradually began to take shape until they became Aisha's eyes.
Such a vision caused him a slight start and a feeling of unease. What did the unfortunate gypsy have to do with all this? Why had she appeared now and so spontaneously in his reverie? They had barely met. For most of the time they were together he still believed it was a young man, Randú. However now, even though he tried to remember Randú's face, it was Aisha's eyes that announced themselves.
He relived the moments of camaraderie and mutual support, but he also relived the feeling of anger and revolt when he discovered he had been deceived. Since the young woman's secret was revealed until that moment, he had not had time to think about why. Why had the young woman done such a crazy thing as following him? Why had she risked herself in the desert with so few things, so unprepared, and on top of that, taking a horse that was not hers? If it had not been his grandfather Abdul's idea, what could it have been? Right away He remembered the pain and regret he had felt when he had seen her disappear. Hamad, in a way, had always blamed him for this disaster. His eys had told him all the time how cruel and incomprehensible he had been. And it was true. He had not been able to understand her. He had not been gentle. He had not seen what now, suddenly, became clear. The poor girl had followed him because, in a way, for her, he was the pearl of her life. This realization made him feel even more depressed. Poor little gypsie. She had wasted so much love and had disappeared without giving a nobler destiny to such a strong feeling.
Kadir was unable to shake off his sadness, but in a way he felt better. A little more at peace. When he managed to understand the meaning of love for that young woman, he began to construct a meaning for himself. He felt a deep tenderness for Aisha mixed with a feeling of loss and longing that could be mistaken for something stronger. Had he finally been touched by love?
Later, overcome by sleep, Kadir experienced a kind of rapture. An experience quite different from the dreams or daydreams he had experienced already since childhood. As if he were still looking out the window of his room, but from a higher perspective, he could see the garden below in details that he had not noticed before. There was a brilliant light enveloping each tree, flower, leaf and bush in a colorful aura. Even the grass was covered in a greenish, translucent glow that, like a magnifying glass, allowed him to see, even from that height, all the life that was sheltered in its furrows: small animals, insects, crickets, grasshoppers and rodents, ants and many others. He also saw the small clearing with the stone bench where he had found Mrs. Zahira. "I should have talked to that woman more," he thought.
Suddenly, at eye level, between the clouds, he saw a golden ray break through, causing a tear in the horizon and from it appeared an enormous bird with iridescent feathers, like abalone shells. It flew towards him and grew larger and larger. With a dazzled look, Kadir barely noticed that it also moved from where he was and approached the Clearing, as if floating, at the exact moment the bird landed.
"The Simorgh!" he thought taken by a feeling that left no room for doubt. The bird was carrying someone on its back, but he couldn't see who it was. The glow and light surrounding the person were so strong that they blinded him. Only when he let get out of the bird's back and put his feet on the ground did the glow around him diminish and the young prince could make out the silhouette of a man dressed like a dervish. The man and the bird were moving as greeting each other. Then, just as it had appeared, the dervish disappeared under a new light, as if passing through an invisible door.
Kadir watched the scene in ecstasy. The bird began to move in a surprising way, spinning around itself while stretching its wings . In seconds, its rotation accelerated until it turned into a dizzying whirlwind that emanated lights and colors. The terrible sound the bird made nearly brought Kadir out of his catatonic state, but soon after, the spinning slowed down until it stopped altogether. Then, in place of the bird, Kadir saw with astonishment a woman appear. The same woman he had encountered before nightfall.
They say that in the planes to which the soul floats during sleep, it is almost impossible to articulate sound. Without control of the organs of the physical body, speech becomes unnecessary. All communication is done through to emotions or thoughts. Thus, Kadir never knew for sure how he managed to hear himself pronounce the name. Could it have been a projection of his mind?
— Zahira?
The woman also seemed startled. She turned towards him and, in the blink of an eye, the two were face to face.
Although she did not seem irritated at having her secret revealed, the bird woman looked at Kadir with a look of reprimand:
— Well, well, prince! So you came to look for me in the dimension of dreams? Was it fear, love or simple curiosity that brought you?
Kadir heard that "soundless" voice that reverberated within him. How had he ended up in that place? He had no idea. Maybe curiosity had drawn him or it was his reflection on love that had given him the impetus. It didn't matter, he assured himself. Many questions were running through his mind now, but none about Paradise.
— How is Aisha? Where is she? If souls wander through this dimension, will I be able to find her?
— If I find her here, how will I know it's her? And will I be able to distinguish whether she's a soul or not?
— Many people wander around here, just like you. Most of them without any conscience. This young woman you're looking for may no longer exist. Maybe she's transformed into someone else. Maybe she's by your side and you can't see her.
The prince didn't know whether to feel anguish or hope. In the world without sound, "words" may not mean the same thing. They may not be saying what they seem to be saying. He still had many questions, but that wasn't where he would find them. Kadir's consciousness began clouded over and a veil covered the rest of the your dream. He woke up with the sun already above the horizon and was stretched out on the bed as if he had never moved from there.