bath,
Numb bath,
Turn off the water flow switch.
Wipe your body clean.
Change your clothes.
Stretch out your palm and gently wipe the moisture off the mirror.
Looking at the boy in the mirror,
His face was expressionless, neither sad nor happy.
Or maybe both...
Move your feet, pick up the rag, and clean the bathroom.
Then he took a small stool, sat on it, and washed his clothes on the ground.
Still expressionless.
Expressions are not just expressions.
Facial expressions are a reflection of one's thoughts and a mask of the heart.
As long as there are no thoughts or no need for a heart, there will naturally be no expressions.
All Carl could do was try to empty himself and not think about anything.
Just mechanical, numb,
Doing what you should do.
After washing the clothes, hang them on the balcony.
Back in the bedroom, Carl looked at "Penny" lying on the bed, and that expressionless face finally changed.
At first, he narrowed his eyes slightly, appearing a little cold, but in an instant he became as gentle as ever, even more so.
There was a struggle in his eyes, but then he suddenly gave up, and Carl's body wanted to return to "Penny" as always.
Not only the body, but also Carl, but Carl didn't want to.
He firmly controlled his body, turned around and left the bedroom. Looking at the room here, Karl was stunned.
After hesitating for a moment, he went to the balcony.
Carl must find a solution.
must!
In my memory, the Governor said that he would take me to where I would work in the future tomorrow.
But now the look is too obvious and will not fool the Governor. At least it will make the Governor suspicious.
but...
Carl may be able to hide his true memories again, including his current subjective consciousness.
But Carl didn't dare.
He was no longer just schizophrenic. Carl even seemed to be almost becoming two different people.
It's obviously me, but this feeling…
It's so bad!
Carl thought that if he hid those memories and let his current subjective self sleep, he could use that false self to control his body.
Carl felt that his true self would probably never wake up, even if he kept the key.
But the self in the lie also found his own key.
Moreover, Carl had a hunch that perhaps in that consciousness, he did not want his true self to wake up.
Maybe I don't distinguish between truth and lies. I am just myself, and at some point I will feel that this is fine.
It was a perfect lie, so perfect that it was beyond redemption.
"Since I have already paid such a heavy price, how can I be willing to accept it if I still cannot succeed?"
Carl stared at the night sky, no longer deliberately relaxing his mind, his eyes were extremely determined.
Suddenly, Karl was a little dazed and scared, "No, I can't do this."
But in an instant, Karl regained his composure, his eyes were still firm, and there was a hint of arc at the corners of his mouth.
"Of course, didn't you just say that? You are me. Yes, you are also me."
"But…but…" Karl became a little hesitant.
"Damn it! Don't use the same tactics on me as you used on the Governor!" Carl suddenly became furious.
"No, I won't hurt Mr. Governor and Penny, and I will never allow you to do so!"
"Haha, you are me and I am you, we are one, you will allow it, no, it doesn't matter whether you allow it or not."
"No! Never! If you don't go on, I can let you see Beth!"
"Damn it! You actually want to tell this to the Governor?"
"Hehe, you forced me to do this unless you promise me that you won't hurt Penny."
Carl was silent, his face expressionless again.
This is one of the few privileges in the subjective consciousness. By emptying your mind and not thinking about anything, you can allow the self that should not exist to enter a state of stagnation.
Staring blankly at the starry sky, is that really another me?
Perhaps, that was the real me, my true thoughts, but I just didn't want to admit it, so I fabricated another self?
"Penny is very cute and well-behaved. How could you bear to hurt her?"
As Karl's thoughts began to turn, a voice that shouldn't have appeared appeared in his mind.
It was clearly his own voice, and Carl could even imagine his expression and posture when he said this.
"Okay, I promise."
"What?"
"I promised you that I wouldn't hurt Penny, but you need to promise me something too."
"No matter what it is, I will promise you. I know you won't hurt Penny."
"That's right. Since you don't want to, what should I think? After all, we are one." Carl's lips curled slightly.
"What do you want me to promise you?"
"Cooperate with me fully."
"But you've already promised..."
"I'm only talking about Penny."
"But Mr. Governor, he is a good man."
"You want to go back on your word? I don't like going back on my word."
"But..."
"If you want to change your mind, I can go in now and use these hands, your hands, my hands, to break Penny's neck alive. You know, after all, you are me. I can do it."
"No, we can't do that!"
"You can't win against me. You are just a lie. I can acknowledge your existence, but I have already stated the price."
"I...""Well, you don't have to say it. It will make you feel worse. I understand your discomfort and you agree with it."
"But..."
"No buts."
"Mr. Governor, that's right..."
"Haha, have you forgotten the time he kicked you? Oh no, you weren't there at that time. After all, you were just a lie."
"Damn it! I'm not a liar!"
"Well, of course you're not, if I'm willing to believe it."
"This is the first time I feel so disgusted with myself."
"I think so, but I have a hunch that there will be more in the future."
"But if your plan goes according to plan, what should Penny do?"
"When it is my turn to speak, I will make everything quiet and silent. Any noise must be crushed to pieces."
Suddenly, Carl fell into a trance again.
I have changed, no matter which self I am, even Carl has already thought of it.
Another self was created completely by my own subconscious mind! Even tonight!
I gradually turned it from a memory into an independent memory, a memory that was out of my control, until finally, it became another me.
Perhaps when choosing between the two memories, Carl could force the false memory to merge into the real memory.
but...
That wouldn't work. I'm still in Woodbury. Even though the Governor trusts me, it doesn't mean he won't suspect me if I reveal a flaw.
Perhaps it was my subconscious mind that subconsciously made the most beneficial choice for myself, giving birth to another self.
Integrate all the lies and the mental influences received during this period into another self.
But, inevitably, Carl is not immune.
after all,
No matter what it is, it is me, it has always been me, it has always been Carl.
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