Three days had passed since the restaurant, since Azrael's breakdown, since his confession and life…
Life had not become normal again.
Pavel was still at Azrael's house. He hadn't left when he woke up on the sofa with Azrael's arm around his shoulder and his scaled tail across his lap, cocooned loosely in his wings. During the night, once Azrael had joined him in sleep, they must have become cold, he assumed, requiring the other's body to keep warm. More likely me, than him.
What really surprised him was, when Azrael woke up, Pavel was looking at him with those soft, golden-brown eyes of his, a smile crinkling the corners of them. Pavel had waited for Azrael to wake up before moving away and beginning the day. Azrael didn't say anything about him leaving – he never wanted Pavel to think he was unwelcome because he wasn't - but, as Pavel flitted around the house, showered, put on some of Azrael's clothes that were far too big for him and made them breakfast, Azrael became more and more confused.
Not much was said between them but Azrael could see that Pavel was expressing something that he didn't quite understand. Lingering gazes that ended when he looked back. Hands that touched him for a moment longer than necessary. Words that seemed slightly too flippantly complimentary. Azrael couldn't bring himself to dare to question him so he didn't. Almost silently, they went about their separate days, though, every so often Azrael would look over his shoulder, out of the study, just to make sure he wasn't going insane.
And every time, Pavel was there, past the door.
Every time, he smiled.
It wasn't until the end of the daywhen they were laying Azrael's bed – I don't even remember how we got here – before he questioned Pavel. "Why did you stay?"
Pavel smiled that radiant smile at Azrael again and his heart almost stopped. Contrasting his bright expression, Pavel was very timid in how he reached his hand out to stroke Azrael's shoulder. As he had said before, "Don't worry so much."
Then he turned over and went to sleep.
Another day passed like that.
And another night.
Now, Azael was unsurprised as he sat across from Pavel, watching him eat a bowl of cereal and drink a mug of very weak coffee. It was like he had become another part of Azrael's house, a piece of very active furniture; it would be abnormal for him to not be here. Azrael observed him as if he was waiting for Pavel to fade away into obscurity.
It had only been a couple of days and Azrael already knew he would struggle to be alone once Pavel went back home. Azrael chewed on the underdone toast that he'd slathered with far too much butter and felt dread for the time he knew they would spend apart. This was too much of a good thing.
It never lasted.
"Azrael." He perked up at the sudden exclamation of his name. Pavel only seemed to say it when something serious was happening so it concerned Azrael that he was using so casually. Watching him, head slightly tilted, Pavel gave an amused exhale. "Could you walk me back to my place?"
It took everything in Azrael to not show how that simple question crushed him. He was sure, even while trying not to, he looked slightly crestfallen. "Of course."
"I just want to pick something up." Pavel wasn't looking at Azrael as he spoke, pushing the last bits of the cereal around the bowl with his spoon, The sleepy aura around him was still heavy. His shoulders slumped forward slightly and his hair pulled into a ponytail that was slowly undoing itself as his fluffy ears hung limply against the side of his head. "Nothing too important, but I just… need some stuff."
Azrael was torn between excitement and apprehension. Considering Pavel had specifically worded it as 'picking something up', it implied he intended to stay at Azrael's house for a while longer, not go back to his place. That was cause for joy. His company wouldn't be missed because it wasn't going anywhere but the apprehension over how much longer he would stay weighed ever heavier.
Taking the last sip of his now lukewarm tea, Azrael hummed in agreement. "When do you want to go? It's a short trip, so we can head out whenever you want to." A thought dawned on him before Pavel could respond. "Ah. I've not gotten any of my trousers tailored yet. Do you think I'll look strange?"
While the face Azrael was wearing his trousers barely on his hips was no issue around the house and around Pavel, he was unsure if it was an excusable appearance for other people to see. Azrael never particularly cared what others thought of him and it was impossible for him to go by completely unperceived because of his appearance but the extra addition of his tail was something he hadn't dealt with before. It was an unknown variable. Azrael didn't appreciate that.
"You'll be fine. The tail itself will distract from your trousers and the back of you is mostly covered by your wings anyway." Pavel's eyes finally looked back up at Azrael, his voice straightforward and his answer reasonable. "I'm ready to go now if that's alright?"
Azrael nodded. "Let's go then."
-
Kicking at the crumbling pavement, Azrael looked Dumbly at the empty streets around him as he waited for Pavel to come back down from his flat. It hadn't been long but it set him on edge that Pavel had wanted him to wait outside while he got whatever he wanted from his place.
The area was unsettlingly quiet, even for somewhere as rundown as it was. Even without much foot traffic, it wouldn't have been amiss to see a homeless person or two occupying some of the doorways or someone loitering about, as he did on every other street in London. The general emptiness, the dead silence, was deeply disconcerting for somewhere that was that far off the beaten path. Azrael's gaze kept swivelling up and down the road.
Anxiously, his tail swiped across the ground, knocking rocky debris around the pavement, leaving a clear semi-circle around the back of his feet. He was moments away from going into the crumbling apartment building, knocking down his apartment door and collecting Pavel so they could leave when his voice called out. "I've gotten what I needed. We can go home now."
Pavel's words knocked the wind out of Azrael's lungs before he could take even a single step forward to meet him. Home? He sees… he sees my house as his home. Azrael's lips quirked up, thinly hiding his happiness even as his eyes curved. "Yes, let's- let's go home then."
Looking down at Pavel as they fell into step together, Azrael noticed he was carrying a heavy bag slung across his shoulder that seemed to be filled to bursting and a mid-size suitcase dragging behind him noisily. Before he could question him about all of the luggage, their path was blocked with an aggressive exclamation.
"Where the fuck d'you think you're going, ah?" A man appeared in front of them, lunging forward, clearly intending to shove or strike at Pavel but Azrael planted himself in the middle of his path. Though the stranger shot him a scornful look, it didn't stop him from continuing to yell at Pavel through Azrael's body. "You owe me next month's rent!"
Pavel's voice was small, clearly startled. After a beat, he refuted, "No, I don't. I cancelled my lease, you're not my landlord anymore."
Azrael's eyebrows crinkled at that comment. If the situation had been different, he would definitely be questioning Pavel but now was not the time. Quickly, he put on his work face and stared the greasy man down with the coldest of gazes. Azrael didn't bother to try to hide his fangs as his lips curled in disgust. "Don't talk to him like that." He didn't want to escalate the situation, but he couldn't put up with this blatant disrespect and uncalled-for aggression.
The man seemed undeterred by Azrael's words. He scoffed as he looked him up and down, his pinched face filled with contempt. There was an unsettling, uncanny hint to his appearance, far too pointed and angular, his eye shape not quite right, but Azrael couldn't put his finger on what he was if he wasn't a human. "Who's this freak then? Got yourself a pimp, a fucking sugar daddy? Cheap whores never make good tenants. That's why you owe me next month's rent because you're ruining my damn business!"
Azrael was irritated now. While he rarely allowed himself to behave how his instincts dictated, he could feel himself squaring his shoulders, flaring his wings to hide Pavel behind them, and puffing up his chest. Posturing so he could intimidate this threat. This wasn't a simple case of being able to kill to protect – Azrael wanted him terrified. A rumble echoed in his chest before he spoke. "This is your last warning. Talk to him like that again and you'll leave without your tongue."
"A bodyguard, then? How fucking pathetic." It wasn't surprising that the man wasn't easily intimidated, he probably dealt with a lot of empty threats and posturing daily. If he continued to push this, though, he would come to realise he was not facing off with just any other person. "If you don't have the money again, you know what I expect. Get your ass back in there and it'll be over quick if you behave. Then I'll let you fuck off. Just behave."
Pavel's hands curled into the back of Azrael's shirt as he stood between his wings, pressing himself as close to him as he could. Azrael could feel him shaking slightly.
Now Azrael wasn't annoyed.
He was irate.
"I warned you." Azrael's words were quiet and he barely waited a beat before he swung his fist out, hoping to make solid contact with his pinched face but Azrael met empty air. He clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Damn it."
Feeling a gust of wing, Azrael looked up to see the man now hovering in the air above them, a pair of feathered wings sprouted abruptly from his back. Deep back feathers of a raven blocked the sun, giving ample reason to his overly pointed face. Azrael relaxed his fist.
Easy enough to deal with. Bird people were common, more common than the rabbit species Pavel was, so Azrael had his hand in the deaths of several of them. Fragile boned and nowhere as nimble in the air as he was even when they'd been flying for longer. Barely an enemy.
Azrael scoffed mirthlessly but softened his voice before he glanced over his shoulder to address Pavel. "Would you like me to deal with him? He's no threat to you anymore, not when I'm here." To check Pavel was alright, Azrael reached his hand behind him and placed it over Pavel's, where they still clutched onto the shirt's fabric. "Just give me the word. I'll do as you say."
A promise Azrael had made to himself was that he would change for Pavel. Azrael had killed for him for years and he would die for him the moment he asked him to but, if he could, Azrael wanted to live for him.
Live without having to resort to violence.
It was the least Azrael could do.
"What if he follows us?" Pavel's breath was hot on Azrael's back as he spoke and his hair tickled the back of his neck as Pavel pressed himself even closer.
He knew he couldn't see it, but Azrael shook his head. "Even if he does, it will be easy to handle. Don't worry too much, I will follow your lead." Being gentle wasn't Azrael's natural instinct but it was easy to be so towards Pavel.
"Let's just go then." Pavel's hands retracted from Azrael's shirt and he walked around to stand by his side. Confidence was coming back to Pavel now, though he didn't look up at the bird that was calling him, his eyes trained solely on Azrael's face. "I trust you."
He trusts me.
Should I be allowing him to do so? After everything, even now he knew almost everything about Azrael, Pavel placed his life in his hands and believed he would keep him safe. Azrael had to prove his hope right.
"Come on then, tough guy, you gonna fight me or not? You fucking pussy. All bark, no bite." The bird's voice was as grating as an actual raven's call so it took no effort to ignore his cawing. He was no threat, so Azrael turned his back on him as he and Pavel left to go back home.
To turn one's back on an attacker was an ultimate form of disrespect and it seemed to immediately get to the man as Azrael heard him drop back onto the floor.
Even as they left the street the apartment building was on, the man yelled at them. "Come back here, you whore. How fucking dare you think you can get off so easy? You're lucky I ever housed you! Dirty fucking bitch – you'll learn your goddamn lesson soon."
After a few minutes of silence between them, long after the bird's voice had faded away and they were back on the bustling roads that were typical of London, Azrael looked down at Pavel and spoke. "How long have you had to deal with him?"
"A long time." Pavel didn't even glance at him. "He's… this isn't a conversation for somewhere so public. I'll tell you when we get home."
Against Azrael's conscious thought, his heart sang at Pavel's words once again. Home. We're going home. He knew he would have to ask what Pavel meant by that but it was second to the situation they had just been in. "As long as you do."
Pavel smiled at him slightly before he, unexpectedly, linked his fingers with Azrael's and pressed their palms together. "I will. Promise."
It took all of Azrael's power to keep moving and not completely freeze at this action. His brain was short-circuiting and he couldn't quite catch his breath as he was somewhat dragged along behind Pavel back to the house.
The last time Pavel had held Azrael's hand so brazenly was at the Lotus before he tried to 'repay' him but, even then, it wasn't as intimately as he was doing it now. To intertwine their fingers so casually, especially under the eyes of so many people, was something that Azrael did not expect from Pavel nor could he explain why Pavel did it. How can he still touch me so carelessly?
They were already at Azrael's place by the time he brought himself back to the present. Pavel had, at some point, gotten his keys and let them in without any hassle, their hands still linked together. "I'll put my bags in the bedroom. Give me a minute and then… I'll tell you a bit about myself."
"Alright." While Azrael wasn't an expert, he knew this was Pavel's attempt at bonding. It had been a considerable amount of time since he had built a meaningful connection with someone and, even though Azrael didn't want to remember that time anymore, he wasn't so stupid as to forget sharing about oneself was a part of that. Since Azrael had told him the bulk of his secrets, it made sense that Pavel would him something in return.
As he waited for Pavel to come back, Azrael sat down on the sofa, leaving room for Pavel to curl up next to him, like he usually did. It hit him then how quickly he had adapted to his presence, how he just accepted his warmth into his house. Azrael realised that Pavel made it into a home now, even if it was still devoid of decoration.
Azrael heard approaching feet on the stairs, padding through the hallway, though he didn't have time to greet Pavel before he had plopped himself down on the sofa. It was as if he had thrown himself with the speed at which he turned up there. Again, before Azrael could speak, Pavel moved from his seated position and lay across the sofa, his head nestled in Azrael's lap.
Blinking rapidly, he stared down at Pavel in befuddlement. He was affectionate with Azrael, he had gotten used to that, but he rarely started anything more permanent than a brief touch, so this, paired with the hand-holding earlier, put Azrael on edge.
Though it wasn't an unpleasant edge.
"Are you good?" That seemed like a good place to start. Calmer and gentler than how Azrael had had to tell Pavel about his stained past; he wanted him to feel comfortable. There was no need for him to cry if it could be helped. Unsure what to do with his hands, Azrael cupped the back of his head with one, his fingers in the hair between Pavel's ears but he left the other at his side.
Pavel looked at him, not quite smiling but content, regardless. It seemed he had the same problem with his hands, so he reached out and pulled Azrael's tail across his torso holding it like a scaly, spiked pillow. "I am… hm. Mostly. We'll go with that." He laughed awkwardly, a scoff at the back of his throat. "Now, where should I start?"
Humming as he stroked his hair, Azrael rubbed the fur of Pavel's ear between his fingers before meeting his eyes. "I've done much worse, I'm sure, than whatever you've done. Just take your time." While he wasn't always the best with his words, with feelings, Azrael used what he had always wanted someone to say to him in an act of comfort for Pavel. He used the same way of speaking that Pavel did when he had confessed about the first time Azrael had killed someone and hoped it would work. "What do you want me to know?"
"What a good question." Pavel sighed into the cold air of the afternoon as if he was already tired of what was to come. "I suppose we have time. I'll start from the beginning then if you don't mind."
Azrael nodded, silent, ready to listen.