Character : Felicia Fiore, Worst Nightmare
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Illusion has always been one of darkness origin's many capabilities.
When it comes to creating fake realities, the darkness origin will have the upper hand. My origin comes from the fire origin and the darkness origin, and yet there were no such abilities from my end.
So when our world warped once again… there was nothing that I could do. The next thing I knew, I was standing once again in the desert.
And once again, my eyes witnessed the burning village.
This village has been my home for five years. I came to this village when I was seven years old, and I stayed here until I was twelve. At the end of it, the village was burned down to the ground.
I knew quite a lot of people from the village, but the closest one has got to be the village chief. He was my teacher, the man who saved me from my mother's fake family at Fiordall. He brought me in, taught me, and passed all of his knowledge onto me. I was indebted to him, and I wanted to protect him in the future.
But, he died right here. At this village, when it was attacked.
My eyes then landed at the crying child at the side of the desert. Her tears fell to the cold sand of the night, wondering why her home was burned down to the ground like this.
I realized that she looks awfully familiar, because those clothes were actually knitted by someone I've known for so long. The grandma who I was staying with at the village, she made me those long sleeved sweater to deal with the cold weather.
And seeing such clothes, I only feel worried. Have I saved that sweater somewhere? Or did I lose it?
Either way… this ability is troublesome. If Zero showed us the worst memories of our lives, then certainly that guy will have problems dealing with it.
I have to find a way to get out of here. I have to--
BLINK!!
In an instant, the world around me changed. It is now bright, and I remember this yard because it's right behind the castle.
The castle at Fiordall… it seems like I have moved up the memory lane.
"Come on, Nathan! You're so slow!" The voice of a child was heard behind me, and I turned my gaze to the two children playing behind me.
That voice… was mine. It was when I was fourteen, playing with the eleven year old Nathan. We were chasing after a bird in the skies, and I remember I kept shooting fireballs at the bird.
Sadly, the bird got away, and Nathan got disappointed. Seeing him looking so sad, the young me walked up to him and hugged him.
"Don't worry! I'll catch you a bigger bird!" My younger self said to him, and he pushed the hug away.
"I don't want the bird… I just want to play with you!" Nathan said to me so firmly, and at the time, I never realized it.
We've been living with each other for two years by this point. I think we've gotten to know each other enough that we have become closer. To think that the signs appear this early… I've never noticed.
The scene changes, and it is now the evening. The moon is out so beautifully, and I remember this night like it was yesterday.
As always, this version of me is staring at the moon as if wishing for something. I was seventeen here, and it's been five years since we came to the castle of Fiordall.
Footsteps were heard behind me, and I turned around to find the young boy that had all grown up. Fourteen year old Nathan slowly approached the younger me who was still staring at the moon, and I noticed the object he was holding.
Ah… yes.
I regretted this evening very much.
Nathan called my name, and I turned around to face him. He handed me the beautiful red flower that is wrapped in a beautiful black paper, and I took the flower while thinking deeply. I only held the flower for five seconds before returning it to him. And in the end, I replied.
"I'm sorry. But, I can't return your feelings."
That's what I told him. And seeing his face under the moonlight, I remember wanting to stab myself in the chest for saying that.
He looked… so hurt.
Rejected by someone he loved, and he turned around as the tears began to fall. I was left alone on the field, and I turned my eyes back to the moon.
Then I noticed something that I did not remember. When I looked at my seventeen year old face, I realized what I did that I did not recall at all.
I was… crying so hard.
Was I regretting it that much?
The view changed, and now it's something very recent. It was when I watched behind a wall as Nathan walked away from the castle in the evening, right before he left for Ellennoire.
At this point, I knew he had grown up. He has become an adult who wished to find his own path. And he set out to find that path, and I know that it is a path without me in it.
I chased after him all the way to Ellennoire, only to hear him say words that I never wanted to hear.
He found… someone else.
The scene changes, and it is now something that happened very… very recently. The ground has turned into snow, and I found myself wearing a black jacket wandering around the trees. The sound of the river was heard not far from here, and that very recent version of me arriving right behind the bush.
I walked closer to look at what she was seeing, and I remembered how painful this scene was. Seeing him with someone else, being so close… it hurts.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away and scream. I don't want this to happen, but it did. And the worst part of it all, it was my fault.
This… is my worst memory. The burning village, I have overcome it a long time ago. This new memory that happened only recently, became my worst one.
And I am the one at fault… because I was the one who pushed him away.
"I didn't… I don't want you to know…" I mumbled while closing my eyes, and the past me turned her gaze to the skies.
"Someday… Someday, you'll find out the truth, Nathan." The past me said to the skies, and I remembered this scene clearly enough to know that I never said these words.
This past me… is not part of my memory.
"What is this…? Who are you?" I asked the woman wearing the black jacket, but she is ignoring me completely. Her eyes are locked to the skies, and I knew right away that this is not a real person I'm talking to.
This is my desire. The very thing that I wanted deep inside me.
"When you do find out the truth… I hope that you won't come to hate me." My copy said aloud to the skies, and I realized that she is only saying the things I've been forbidding myself to say.
And the next thing I knew, I found myself lying down on the ground.
I tried lifting my head from the ground, and apparently it was quite hard to do so. My helmet is not found anywhere around me, and my forehead hurts from touching the cold floor for too long. It felt like gravity had become ten times heavier, and I wondered why.
"Oh, you've awakened." From above me, the heavy voice was heard once more.