"... You're right." I said to her, but I can't maintain eye contact with her anymore. "My progress is very slow, and I'm not confident I can continue this."
"So you're going to give up?" Nyssa guessed, and I just nodded silently.
Seeing such an answer, Nyssa just placed her hand on her chin.
"How creepy..."
... What?
"Creepy?"
"Ah. No, I didn't mean--"
"I guess being untalented is a bit creepy, huh?"
"Lily. Wait."
"I have been waiting!" I shouted without realizing, and that successfully silenced Nyssa. "I have waited for ten days..."
And nothing appeared. Nothing.
I am just that talentless.
Across the room, Nyssa is still silenced. She lets out a long sigh and sat down on her bed.
"Then, suit yourself." She said as she lied down. "One thing for sure... You will be letting everyone down if you give up."
Hearing such painful words, I only smiled. "It's alright. It's not the first time I've let people down."
Nyssa stared at me with one eye for a while, and she finally just closed her eyes as she laid down. It probably won't take long until she falls asleep since she is just like a sloth.
"If you want to find him," Nyssa suddenly said while closing her eyes, and I turned my confused gaze at her. "He is in the basement of the laboratory building."
... 'He'? You mean...
"Thanks." I said to her while standing up, and I decided to leave the dorm room.
It should be time for the guest to come soon. Until then, I will just wait. Since I am planning on skipping class entirely, I'll just be doing other things that aren't going to class.
Should I visit him now...? But then that will make me look like I'm weird, doesn't it?
Hah. Whatever. Who needs him, anyway?
Instead, I decided to head to the canteen. Maybe there's something for me to drink there, maybe a cup of cold tea can help me clear my head.
"There you are!" From the canteen, a person came running to me. I realized that it was Jonah, and he looked really tired. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"
"What is it??" I asked out of concern, and Jonah pointed his hand towards the front yard.
"The vice headmaster told me to get you to her office. She said the guest from Valkaria has arrived." Jonah explained, and I became rather surprised.
Oh. Looks like they came earlier than I expected.
I thanked Jonah and headed straight for the vice headmaster's office. Once I arrived at the door, I knocked it carefully three times.
"Come in!" The vice headmaster said from inside, and I opened the door carefully.
"Excuse... Me…?" As I opened the door, my eyes spotted a familiar person that was enjoying a cup of coffee in the room.
Seeing the similar hairstyle and similar face to mine, I nearly popped my eyes out of the holes. And seeing my face entering the door, the woman drinking the coffee only smiled softly at me.
"Yo! Long time no see, Lily. How's your academy life been?" Greeting me from the sofa is my sister.
Frisena Valkaria, the future empress of the water empire.
"Sister Frisena..." I mumbled after seeing her, not knowing how I should react.
"Sorry for keeping my arrival a secret. I told Miss Hilda to not say a word about me coming here to you." Sister Frisena continued, and the vice headmaster just giggled from her seat.
"It's a big surprise, of course I have to follow along!" The vice headmaster said while getting up, and she walked all the way to the door behind me. "I'll leave the room to you two. Enjoy your reunion."
Afterwards, the vice headmaster left, leaving me alone with my sister at her own office. I took the chance to sit down at the sofa across Frisena, and I didn't really know where to start.
"So? How's your academy life? Got any boys yet?" She asked so easily, and I stiffly shook my head.
"Everything is fine… No boys."
"Oh? Even after hearing how close you were with the second prince of Fiordall?" She said something I wasn't expecting her to know, but it looks like I have underestimated her ability to obtain information.
"That's just a rumor. Don't mind it too much." I said stiffly once more, and Frisena looked like she was about to laugh.
"Is that so? Well, don't worry about it. I wasn't even that popular with boys as well. You'd be surprised how many girls approached me instead of boys."
Maybe... Because all the boys were afraid of you...? As for my situation, it's a bit different. Of course, I couldn't say that out loud. But it seems like my sister knew so much more than I thought.
"Did you get along with your classmates?" She asked another question, and I nodded right away.
"That's right. Everyone has been friendly with me."
"Then, what is this about you dropping to class B?" Frisena said while drinking her coffee, and I opened my eyes wide.
"I-It has nothing to do with them!" I hurriedly said, and she placed her cup of coffee down.
"Is that so? Then, what could be the reason for it?"
This is... Tough.
Now that she has asked about it, I need to find a way to circle around the truth. I can't just tell her about my problems. Otherwise, she'd just torture me again.
Crazy to think that our age gap was only three years, and I'm this afraid of her. There are scarier people out there, and the one I'm most afraid of is this nineteen year old woman. Even after not seeing her for a while, I still can't stay normal around her.
And I know very well… that even if I lie, she will just know the truth.
"I… just feel like I don't belong there." I said with a saddened tone, and she nodded from understanding.
"I see. Certainly, it makes you lose confidence being placed in a room filled with talented people." Frisena seemed to receive it quite well, and I felt relieved that she wasn't saying any harsh words.
But, she isn't saying them because apparently it's not the time yet.
"Then, you just… give up? Is that all that you're going to do?" Frisena asked with a cold tone, and I could feel my entire body shivering.
Yes… this is her. This is the big sister that I've known for so long.
"Because you were weaker than them? Because you're less smart? You think all of your problems will just go away because you ran away from them?
Even if you were to be placed in class B, what can you do over there? The top student of class B is still nothing compared to the weakest of class A. So, what is it that you're expecting by running away?
You think things are going to be over because you stopped facing them?
What about your friends? You think they're going to be happy if you leave?
Are you just going to disappoint them as well? Are you going to continue being a disappointment to everyone?
Running away? Is that really your solution to solve everything?
To escape? Leaving everyone who had expectations for you?"
For every word she said… my entire body shivered heavier. For every question she asked, it felt like my chest was being stabbed by a needle.
Because I know… the things she said aren't wrong. For whatever reason, I can never refute them.
This is how it has been between me and her. It's not that she is bullying me, but her words often felt more painful than any fist. Not only because she is right, but also because what she wants out of me is always outside of what I wished for.
But… because she isn't wrong, it doesn't mean she has the right to control me.
My mind then reminds me of that guy. Seeing how happy he always looked, I thought he never had problems his whole life. Little did I know that he has faced a tragedy when he was younger, and he is still coping with accepting the tragedy even until today. He looks happy because he is only trying his best to find his own happiness.
To find his happiness… he became free. He smiles, makes friends, and helps others.
And I… want to be freed as well.
"You're right." I said so suddenly, and that surprised Frisena. I lifted my stern gaze at her, and I declared my wishes.
"It was wrong of me to give up. But, you should also understand the reason why I decided to do so." I said to my sister, and he only stared at me with confusion.
"Because you just want to run away?"
"Because I want to be free." I declared to her, and she looked like she was about to get angry at me.
"You think you have the ability to do something like that? In the first place, you are weak and untalented." Frisena once again used her sharp tongue at me, but I have made my decision.
"Then, I'll just get stronger." I said with confidence, and Frisena once again looked surprised. "You're right, sister. I am weak and untalented. But, I wanted to run away. I just want to be free to do what I want. And I also realize that I can't do that unless I'm a better person."
"So, what exactly do you want to do? One moment you wanted to run away, and next you said you wanted to be stronger?"
"I just realized… what I wanted has always been to be free. To do what I always wanted. To be happy." I said with a smile at her, and Frisena looked like she was having a stroke three times just from talking to me.
"And then?" She asked while folding her arms, and I firmed my resolve once more. There is no going back from this, and I know that this is the best option for me.
I took a deep breath, and I finally declared my plans to her. "I will start seeing things in the long term from now on. I will get stronger, just like you wanted. Once I do that, I will obtain my own freedom through my own strength. Then…
I'll just quit being a princess."