Zhang Wei watched her attempt to hide her face, noting her emotions threatening to overflow. She was a little overwhelmed, he decided. He cooperated, letting her do as she wished. Gently he stroked her hair, asking, "What's worrying you?"
She took some time to answer, "A lot of things. I don't know what to do with myself. The thought of the future terrifies me. I don't even want this life. I can't imagine continuing living like this."
Zhang Wei understood what she wanted to convey. He patted her back, saying, "I don't know about the future, Mei Lin. But it isn't so bad right now, is it?" She shook her head against his chest. Zhang Wei thought for a moment before continuing. "If it's difficult to think about the future, then don't. Take it one day at a time."
"One day at a time…" Mei Lin wondered aloud, "Not bad. Maybe I'll do that. It's just been suffocating lately."
"Since Mother Superior is back?" Zhang Wei felt a little relieved, sensing her mood becoming better, "If a day is too long, then take one hour at a time. If an hour is too long, then go minute by minute, second by second."
Mei Lin smiled at his description. "Ah, this Scholar Zhang, such a scammer."
"Don't dodge the question." Zhang Wei nudged her.
Mei Lin sighed. "Well, Mother Superior feels creepier since she has returned, but that might just be my imagination. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, whoever said that was a liar. More like her presence makes you miss the good times without her. But it isn't just her. It's not like I interact daily with her. It just feels more and more like I'm not meant for this life and it's just suffocating being in the temple."
Zhang Wei voiced what he had been thinking about more and more frequently, "Then come to my sect. You can live there. We'll figure something out." Once he said it out loud, he really wanted it to come true.
Mei Lin shook her head, "Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm serious, Mei Lin." He held her hand, trying to convey his sincerity. It wasn't a joke. He had meant it.
"I'm happy you asked but do you want to start a sect war?" She squeezed his hand.
"War? Isn't that going too far? It's just one person." He replied, "Aren't you thinking too highly of yourself?"
Mei Lin shook her head again, "It might seem like that but it'll be considered as one sect looking down on the other. It's about pride. And the sanctity of the sect rules. Once a person breaks them, it sets a precedent. Others will also think it's okay to break them. Mother Superior will absolutely not allow that."
"What if I take responsibility?" Zhang Wei asked her.
Mei Lin rolled her eyes, "Like I said, it's a matter of pride. If it's just you, you'll get squashed like a bug." Zhang Wei winced at her harsh description. She shrugged, "Mother Superior is just that powerful. Don't let Buddhism fool you. She knows no mercy."
Zhang Wei sighed, hugging her even closer. "There goes a good plan."
"I wanted to tell you before," she continued, dropping another bad news on him, "I don't think we'll be able to meet often. The security at the temple has gotten stricter. It'll take some time for it to get a little lax since all the senior nuns are full of energy right now."
Zhang Wei sighed. He had a momentary impulse to kidnap Mei Lin and keep her by his side at the Azure Cloud Sect. Beneath it all, his motive was ultimately selfish. He had been toying the line of being just a friend and being something more for quite some time. Finally, her description of him being squashed like a bug resurfaced in his mind, bringing him back to reality. He reluctantly let go of the thought, swearing to himself that he had to grow stronger, if only just to accomplish that.
They lay down hugging each other in silence, their faces close but not quite touching. Zhang Wei almost felt ensnared as he looked at her.
After what seemed like a long time, Zhang Wei returned to his optimistic self, breaking the silence. "How good are you with formations?"
"Formations?" Mei Lin felt baffled by the sudden change in topic, looking up at Zhang Wei nodding encouragingly at her. "I can't comment since the formations in the temple are very limited. They're either for restraint or exorcism, and they require multiple people to execute." She continued, "It's not like the ones from your cave, which seem practical and can be laid down by just one person."
"True enough. Well, Mei Lin, I may not be as brilliant as Feng Yuhan, but I do know a thing or two about formations. Want to learn?" Zhang Wei suggested with a smile.
"Ah, it sounds like you're coaching me to escape, Teacher Zhang," Mei Lin teased but her curiosity was evident.
With a mock-serious expression, Zhang Wei leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Remember, grasshopper, to hide a doorway is to open a path to freedom."
"I won't deny that I'm interested." Mei Lin remarked, her eyes thoughtful as she contemplated the intricacies of formations.
Zhang Wei chuckled softly, reclining on his elbows. "That's not surprising at all. The nunnery isn't exactly a fortress. More like a sanctuary of spiritual confinement."
Mei Lin burst into laughter, the sound echoing softly along the stream. "True, true. The temple's library is so limited unless one wants to delve into endless scriptures. I combed through nearly every one of the miscellaneous books we have. The most interesting books there are about geography."
"Your hidden passion?" Zhang Wei teased.
"It's my dream to go out and explore the world. I don't want to live my life as a frog in a well." She sighed.
Zhang Wei felt the desire to kiss her, to reassure her somehow that it was possible. He reflexively pushed aside the thought, not daring to be reckless, chiding himself. But he couldn't hide the gentleness in his eyes as he stroked her hair.
He moved his fingers lower, and gently pulled her cheek, teasingly. "Shouldn't you ask your Shifu nicely? Say, please teach me Shifu. If you ask me politely how can I refuse?"
Mei Lin playfully kicked his leg, her lips curving into a soft smile. "Fine, Shifu," she murmured, barely audible.
He had expected her to refuse so it took him by surprise. His heart skipped a beat at the sound of the endearing term, but he quickly composed himself. "Say it again, Mei Lin. I didn't quite catch that."
Mei Lin shook her head, pretending to be stern. "Bad things shouldn't be repeated," she replied, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.
"Ah, look at this unfilial student. You're just lucky your Shifu is so kind. How could I refuse my only student?" Zhang Wei half-complained, half boasted.
After he teased her to his heart's content, and finally stopped speaking nonsense, she asked, "Say, that day comes when I successfully escape. What will you do? Write odes about your brilliant student?"
Zhang Wei joked, "Retire, of course. I'll tell everyone I trained the greatest cultivator of our time. I'll sit back, drink wine, and bask in your glory. Maybe even charge people for the story."
"And?" She prodded.
"Probably curse you once in a while for leaving me. I don't think you're the type to visit." Zhang Wei relented, sulking at the thought.
Mei Lin chuckled. "You know me so well, Teacher Zhang. Just know it's not that I don't want to visit, but that I can't."
"Heartless." Zhang Wei accused her, turning away from her to gaze at the sky.
Mei Lin teased him, "Why, would you rather leave with me?"
"I can't." Zhang Wei muttered hesitantly, very tempted by the offer, looking away. He was scared that if he met her eyes, heaven only knew what promises he would make.
"What? You're scared of me now?" Mei Lin was so frustrated by his shifty gaze that she impulsively reached out to hold Zhang Wei's face. She forced him to look at her, moving her face so close to his that she could feel his breath.
"Terrified." Zhang Wei replied, finally looking at her. He was truly terrified by the depth of what he felt for her.