"Come let me sponsor your lunch."
That's what pushed Felix out of his lodge on a Saturday afternoon to meet Ada at Lizzy's. It was quite a big place where a lot of food and snacks were sold, only if you had the money. Some things were free, courtesy of the school towards those who couldn't afford it. Probably to make up for how ridiculously expensive their school fees were–three million plus in naira wasn't beans. Seriously, he was still questioning how the fuck his parents were able to afford such an amount.
As he didn't have any money to waste, Felix had to trek from his lodge to meet his friend. If he'd told her, she'd definitely shout at him, but unfortunately, not everyone was filthy rich. He had to manage.
"There you are," Ada said, smiling and waving at him as she was stood under a tree with a cute guy with glasses beside her.
"Hey." He took his time to rest under the tree, moving a few meters away and looking at Ada and whoever said person was beside her.
"This is Onyema," she introduced, not even looking at him. "This is Felix."
Felix nodded. Onyema seemed nervous and quite flushed. It was either they were both making him nervous or, Ada was making him nervous– with the way he was subtly looking at her with adoration and the way she was touching his arm in turn, Felix was able to understand what was going on.
"Okay, later we'll talk on the phone," Ada said.
"Sure," he said. "I'll text you maybe." To Felix's surprise, he turned to him and gave a small smile. "Bye, Felix." Then he walked away.
Felix nodded.
"Isn't he just wonderful?!" Ada exclaimed, eyes filled with excitement as she grabbed one of his arms.
"Who's he?" He asked as they started walking towards Lizzy's.
"New student. He just resumed yesterday and I was told to show him a few things. I'm the assistant class rep anyway so it's kinda my job. He plays a lot of instruments."
"Okay… but that doesn't explain why you were fawning over him and why he was blushing like a little girl."
Ada giggled, dragging him inside the fancy-looking building. "He's cute. But we're just friends for now."
Felix just laughed. "I'll go with that for now."
The place was as beautiful as the last time he'd been there– on the first week in school, he'd been craving ice cream so he was directed here. And he almost cried to himself on how much he spent. Till this moment, he still cursed the person who directed him to this building.
"Let's find a table," Felix said.
"Nah," his friend refused. "Food first, table next. Stealing bags is still a thing, you know."
He had to silently agree with that. But even though stealing was still a thing, it wasn't quite prevalent, maybe because the punishment from the school for such a thing was extremely severe. Not to talk of if the victim catches you, especially if they were one of the wealthy and influential ones.
"So…snacks again."
"Nope," Ada said, looking around. "We're buying bread and some meat".
Felix's felt excitement radiating off of him as she said that. God, Ada was such an amazing friend. Though sometimes…
"I really feel uncomfortable leeching off of you sometimes, you know," he muttered to the hearing of only her. "You shouldn't be spending your money all the time."
"I don't consider it anything because it's you, Feli. Now, stop complaining and follow me to pick our lunch."
He kept quiet just like she wanted and was picking a few things as they were on a line, when he bumped into someone. And fell on the floor. There were a few murmurings that made him know that he'd caught the attention of probably everyone in the building.
He winced. He didn't like the attention at all.
"Felix!" He heard Ada exclaim, helping him up as he winced again. His butt hurt.
"Still so stupid abi?" A familiar voice sneered.
Felix's eyes widened in shock as he straightened to see the person who he'd bumped into. It was Toby. What the hell was he doing in this school?!
"Toby," Ada growled, standing in front of Felix, as if to protect him. "This isn't high-school abeg, leave my friend alone."
The tall and dark six foot boy just laughed. "I don't think it's possible to not notice that we're no longer in high-school, and leave such a creature alone, Ada? Impossible."
Felix snapped out of his daze and frowned up at the bigger guy. "What the fuck do you want again, Toby? I'm pretty sure I'm not in your way as I've never been."
So basically, Toby Ade was a dick. Always has been one and it seemed, will forever be one. He'd been Felix's bully right from junior high and his reason has always been "you're in my way, Felix," and nothing he did would prevent him from being beat up or pranked on by the big guy–unfortunately, he'd always been bigger and stronger, so he could never defend himself. Toby had spread rumors that he was gay–not exactly a lie, but that didn't mean he'd admit it– and made people look at him with disgust, and no matter how many times he'd report, no amount of punishment would prevent Toby from fucking up his day and life. No one except for Ada wanted to hangout with him and boys didn't want to get on Toby's bad side, another reason was because of how "unmanly" he was. More and more people believed such nonsense rumors and he hated it. At least he got one true friend from all the trauma and good grades, too.
Now, just when he thought he'd finally get some peace, Toby was here, all the way from Delta state. God, life really wasn't fair sometimes.
"You look the same," Toby commented. "Shocking, by now I'd expected the worst. I thought you'd have been kitoed by now. Who would've thought you could afford such an expensive school? What's the secret? Rich sugar daddies? Loan shark?"
Felix felt himself growing angry and exasperated by Toby's mocking words. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? He'd never for once bothered him in all the years that he'd known him and yet here he was, years later, still bullying him.
"Toby–" he began, but was suddenly interrupted.
"Who's this?"
"Psalm!" Ada turned to look behind him.
Felix groaned internally. What was he doing here?
"Hey," Psalm said, standing beside him and placing an arm on his shoulders, making him look at him. "How are you doing, Felix?"
He just nodded.
Psalm looked at Toby who suddenly seemed a bit intimidated, probably because of his height.
"Who are you and why are my friends uncomfortable in your presence?" Psalm asked coldly.
"I- I'm… Toby. My name is Toby."
"He's a bully who wouldn't leave Felix alone since secondary school," Ada spoke up, now glaring. "Seems like he's here to continue the job."
Just then, two tall guys walked up to them. They looked identical. Definitely twins. Their skins were… okay, they definitely had vitiligo. But that did nothing to spoil their looks. It only made them look more handsome.
"Psalm, we need to order our food," one of them said.
"Who are these guys?" The other asked, raising a brow at Toby and Felix, most especially Toby whom Psalm seemed to be glaring at.
"I… I'm–"
"Fuck off, please," Psalm hissed.
They all watched in amusement as Toby immediately ran out of the building, except Felix who suddenly felt tired of school. And life.
Ada was smiling. "Hi Joseph, Jonah. This is my best friend, Felix. He and Psalm's met before."
The twins nodded at him and he just gave a small smile. They were handsome though, something he shouldn't notice at the moment, honestly.
"So… food?" The one called Joseph said as his brother started walking away from them.
"Sure." Psalm was the one who answered as he took his hand off his shoulders.
Felix gave his friend a reassuring smile when she looked at him worriedly and muttered for her to follow them. She smiled a little as she moved away from him and Psalm.
"Are you alright?"
His head snapped up to look at who was still with him. He thought they'd all gone to get food.
Felix looked into the worried eyes of Psalm. He wondered why the guy was even worried, his problems didn't really concern him, to be honest he was the last person he expected to show him care.
"Thank you for helping me out," he said, referring to the Toby drama.
Psalm smiled. "He's a dick so, it was more my pleasure than yours to get rid of him. Though, I would've done something if my friends hadn't interrupted."
Felix shook his head. "No need for that, he's already gone anyway".
Psalm nodded. "You want to sit and eat with me and my friends?"
He shrugged. "Ada's already with them, that's my answer."
"Alright, let's go then".
Felix took a deep breath as he followed him to where his friends were. Coupled with the fact that he just met his bully since school, he had to now have social interactions with his "savior." Not that he wasn't grateful, but… he would've preferred to be alone to be honest.
There's free food though, Felix suddenly remembered and quickened his pace.
Unfortunately, there wasn't much appetite and Ada noticed that when they started eating. He was silent throughout whatever everyone at the table was talking about–it was probably music things– and wasn't looking into anyone's eyes, especially Psalm's. He seemed to be looking at him every few seconds, for what, he didn't know. And he didn't like it. He didn't like feeling too self-conscious. He just wanted to think about how shitty his life was and how he wanted everything to be okay in his life for once, without having to worry about someone from the past trying to hurt him.
Ada didn't say anything about his lack of eating and talking, instead she asked for some packaging for his food which he was ever grateful for. He felt guilty that she'd be paying extra money because of him but because they were with people, he couldn't open his mouth to apologize to his friend.
Psalm paid for everything, he later realized and internally, he was kneeling on the ground and thanking him for wasting his precious money on him. He muttered an appreciative "thank you" though and blushed slightly as he smiled widely at him.
The twins said goodbye to them as they walked off to God-knows-where, but said something about meeting Psalm later.
"I could drive you home," Psalm offered when he and Ada started walking towards the bus stop nearby.
Felix looked from him to Ada and then, back to him. "Uh… who exactly are you talking to?"
Psalm grinned. "You of course. That is, if you don't mind."
He was about to refuse and say he was going to follow Ada to her house. Because that's where they were supposed to be in the first place, but she seemed to have other plans.
"That's actually a wonderful idea!"
Felix's brow furrowed. Why exactly was she excited? She was supposed to be sad that her friend wasn't coming to visit her.
"But– "
"My bus is here". She leaned forward and pecked him on both cheeks. "I'll call you later, Feli. Bye."
She walked away from them to the bus that looked to be stopping for passengers, leaving Felix standing in shock and confusion.
"So, I'm guessing that's a yes?" Psalm asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He shrugged. "She's supposed to be my ride so, yes. Yes, you definitely can drive me home."
Psalm chuckled. "Follow me to my car then."
They silently walked to the parking lot and when Felix saw his car, he was pretty sure it wasn't an ordinary car. It was actually a car. A sports car. He didn't actually know much about cars but he knew that the black beauty that he was looking at was expensive as hell. And it didn't have a back seat…very expensive then.
"You can get in," Psalm snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Where are you going to keep those?" He questioned, looking at the paper bags in his hand. Definitely food he bought. It was crazy that he didn't notice Psalm eating at their table, did he even eat?
"Don't worry, you'll see."
He put them in the glove compartment as they both got into the car . It had way more space than he expected.
"I guess that settles it," Felix muttered.
Psalm just laughed. He started the car and drove out of the parking lot. Seemed he didn't need directions because immediately Felix told him his street, he started his GPS and didn't say anything again.
The drive was smooth and nice. The soft music playing in the car made Felix relax. The moment Love on Top started playing, he relaxed the more, this time with a smile on his face. Beyoncé always did that to him.
"You like Beyoncé, huh?" Psalm asked, breaking the silence between them.
Felix looked at him, but his eyes were on the road. "Yes, she's my favorite. What about you?"
"There are some people I just started listening to now, but my favorites are Lady Gaga and Frank Ocean for now. There's Kehlani, The Weeknd, Lil Nas X…" he trailed off.
Then he changed the song playing to MONTERO, as if to prove his point.
Felix gaped. He didn't want to seem like the type to jump straight into unnecessary accusations and blurt "but isn't he like… gay?" Being gay didn't mean others should be shamed for liking him, it wasn't a bad thing. But because of his once controversial music videos, he never expected a Nigerian to like such.
"Don't look so shocked," Psalm said, a smile playing on his lips. He still wasn't looking at him. "He's really good and I'd like to have his level of confidence in any and everything."
"If he were Nigerian, he would be lynched," Felix spoke in a low voice. "They don't exactly like anything LGBT."
His "confidence" was amazing, but not really for people like him. Felix knew he wasn't strong emotionally to take the hate on him just for having different interests or dressing differently. Yes, there were people breaking the barriers as much as they could, but…the hate was just too much. Life really wasn't fair. And it definitely wouldn't be any fairer to someone of poor background like his.
"Good thing he isn't a Nigerian, right?"
Felix sighed heavily. "Yeah. They still hate him over there though, I don't know how he can take it."
"At least he can escape death and other shit, still a win-win situation."
"I guess."
The singer could probably escape somethings as a celebrity, but he didn't know if he'd escape everything even as someone living in an "accepting" society. But maybe Felix was just being too negative. Maybe.
"So, you support the LGBT," Psalm concluded, then made a turn to another street.
They were almost at his house.
Felix smiled. Why wouldn't he support something he was part of already? Though no one knew, that still didn't mean he hated himself, he was just being cautious. He'd love to be part of a physical community someday. But that could only happen if he put himself out there.
"Of course. The people in the community are all human beings and deserve love."
Normally, he'd try to avoid talking about such things with anyone because he wasn't ever sure that their reaction would be positive. He was usually right about that though, but for some reason, Psalm made him feel comfortable enough to talk about it.
They stopped right in front of his lodge.
"That's good to know," Psalm said, turning to face him.
"What about you?" Felix questioned.
"I mean, I'm a part of it, so yes."
Felix tried to tamper his shock at what he'd just heard. He looked into the golden brown eyes of the driver to see whether he was joking or something because as far as he knew, people don't just say things like that. He really didn't know what to say.
"I–"
"You should get inside, Felix. Your gate man looks like he's about to walk over here. I don't want to start explaining how I'm not a bad guy and all," Psalm teased.
Felix opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. There were so many things going through his mind, questions he needed to ask, but he just couldn't. How was he going to ask someone if they were gay? What if that's not what he meant?
"Felix?"
Felix opened the door and slowly got out after concluding that he couldn't communicate in English anymore.
"Bye," Psalm said, a bright smile on his face as he waved at him. Then he drove away, leaving Felix to stand looking at the road still in thought.
"Abeg, enter inside. Pesin wan commot."
Felix nodded at the gate man that called him as he saw a car moving out the gate. Best not to cause an accident because he's thinking.
Sleep wasn't going to come easy at all.