He bought it. He bought the pen, with additional items, and he was so excited and proud of himself, wondering how Psalm would react when he'd show him, at the appropriate time of course.
"This person must be really amazing for you to sacrifice your time to go out and spend money," Jon said, occasionally glancing at him from the driver's seat as he steered the car towards the road.
Felix had momentarily forgotten about him as he was admiring the bag, then box the items he bought was in. He'd driven him to the department store as he'd requested and helped him with picking out colors and types of pens and even a notebook to get.
"Yeah. I just want the person to have something to remember me by."
Felix instantly felt sad at his own words. The thought of Psalm forgetting him someday was…disheartening. Disheartening but possible, unfortunately. They weren't exactly at the same level and no matter how nice their moments were, he could likely have better. He had the resources and more to.
Damn.
"Are you okay?"
He felt a warmth on his shoulder that he tried to shrug off as nicely as possible.
"Yeah," he said. "I just want this person to get a gift from me for the first time and be happy."
Jon nodded. "You're so nice. Even when you're not sure you'd be remembered again."
Felix couldn't help but sense the sad undertone in his words, and his curiosity got the best of him to question him about it.
"Did something similar happen to you?" He asked carefully, preparing for a rejection.
Jon was all-too-ready to respond though, a hand on the window as he sighed.
"I dated someone in highschool," he said. "We were really close in school and promised never to forget each other by graduation. We thought we were meant to be." He laughed bitterly. "Anyway, she went abroad for schooling, met one of my friends and now they're together."
"Wow…I–I'm sorry."
Felix didn't know what else to say. He didn't expect the story at all.
Jon nodded. "It's okay. That's life. People come and go all the time. It hurts a lot, and I'm not talking to either of them anymore, but I've accepted it. Relationships in general, whether romantic or platonic that started from school hardly ever last anyway."
"Yeah."
Felix's fears were not so farfetched, he knew. Jon's story made him certain now. Anything could happen. No matter how close he was with Psalm, he could still find someone else. What if he got with someone he knew? What if he somehow got with Ada??
He shook off the last question. Well, tried to. If it could happen to Jon then…
"I doubt it'll happen to you though," Jon said, back to his cheerful self. "Not everyone will experience the same things. Some people are really lucky and blessed to have mostly good experiences with relationships. I just hope I'll be lucky soon."
"I hope so too," Felix said, not sure if he was saying it to the other guy or himself.
He really never expected to have such a conversation with Jon of all people. He really didn't seem like a bad guy. For the first time he was interested in listening to someone other than Ada. He was nice.
*****
The moment he was dropped off at his gate, a familiar car was parked nearby. Because Felix was taken by his conversation with Jon, he didn't pay too much attention to it.
"We should exchange numbers," Jon said with a grin. "Just in case you need a free ride or something. I mean, if you want. You don't have to agree if you–"
"Of course," Felix readily agreed.
It was the first time he'd be exchanging numbers with a classmate. Almost a full year in school and one person wanted to be close to him, Ada would definitely throw a party when he'd tell her.
"So, I'm guessing you always stay inside," Jon continued their conversation as Felix was typing in his number. "Maybe we could be hanging out sometime. I can think of so many parties or–"
Felix waved him off. "Too much, too soon. Aren't you going to visit your family after the graduation thing?"
Jon nodded. "I guess you're right. I guess we have three more years to go to parties."
Felix had to smile at his enthusiasm. It reminded him of Ada so much. If they met, he knew they'd light his head on fire. And he didn't mean that in a good way.
"I guess I'll go inside," Felix said, opening the car door, Jon following suit. "You didn't buy what you wanted to though, are you still going shopping?"
Jon shook his head as he rested on his car. "I can always order online, I guess. I'll let it be for now."
Felix smiled a bit, nodding as he was about to close the car door. "Thank you for–"
"Felix."
The two boys were startled as they turned to see the owner of the voice.
"Uh…Hello," Jon let out unsurely.
It was a taller man who got out of a fancy car a few feet away from Jon's car. And it was none other than Psalm standing, dressed in all black, in all his beauty looking nonchalant, but his eyes seemed calculating as he walked slowly towards them.
"You're…You're Psalm Gerard, right?!" Jon said in realization. "What the fuck!? I'm such a big fa–"
"And who are you?" Psalm asked, hands in his pockets with his attention solely on Felix now who suddenly couldn't form words. The energy seemed…weird.
Jon didn't seem to notice that there was a bit of tension in the air as he excitedly introduced himself. "I'm also Felix's classmate. We just came back from going shopping. I didn't know Felix knew such a famous person. But anyway, he's really sweet for such a quiet–"
"I think I should go inside," Felix finally said.
Psalm was quiet as he watched him wave a disappointed Jon a goodbye. Jon really looked like he wanted to talk to Psalm, but the other didn't seem like he wanted to listen to an annoying fan. Normally, Felix felt a bit bad for him. He was such a nice guy, but at least he wasn't acting entitled to having a conversation with someone who obviously wasn't willing.
"Goodbye! Goodbye Psalm! Or Mr. Gerard! I hope we meet again! I really, really hope we do! Felix, don't worry I'll text you tonight!"
Felix winced at the words he'd yelled.
As usual, the streets were a bit quiet, so it echoed a bit. He really wanted to know what Psalm was thinking now. The taller man was a bit too silent for his liking.
"Let's go inside," he muttered without looking at his boyfriend. He knew Psalm would follow him anyway.
Walking in silence was weird, especially when he didn't know what was going to happen. He couldn't read Psalm at all, but he knew whatever he'd say definitely had something to do with Jon.
He sighed internally as he thought, Are we going to have a fight?