Chereads / Naruto: The Crimson Error / Chapter 45 - 45. Screwed

Chapter 45 - 45. Screwed

(250 stone Bonus; Guys Vote! We are very close to the Top 20)

Hanabi turned to Sora, her expression a mix of disbelief "I can't believe I'm saying this, but... that might actually be useful."

Sora grinned triumphantly. "See? Never underestimate the power of thinking outside the box! Or outside the forest, in this case."

Before Hanabi could respond, there was a rustle in the branches above them. The parrot descended rapidly, looking excited.

"Polly found them! Polly found them!" it squawked. "Two humans, north-northeast, approximately 300 meters! One has a fancy umbrella, the other is wearing a raincoat. Polly wants hazard pay!"

Sora patted the parrot on the head. "Good work, Polly! I'll make sure you get extra crackers in your next ration pack."

The parrot preened happily, then took off again to continue its surveillance.

"Well," Sora said, turning to his teammates with a grin, "shall we go say hello to our umbrella-loving friends?"

Hanabi nodded, her earlier exasperation giving way to focus. The clone simply shrugged and put away its book, apparently resigned to the fact that it would have to participate in the upcoming confrontation.

As they made their way towards their targets, Sora's mind raced with possibilities. How could they take down these opponents in the most effective - and entertaining - way possible? He had a feeling this encounter was going to be one for the books.

As they approached the location Polly had indicated, Sora, Hanabi, and the clone slowed their pace, moving with the stealth that only ninjas (and mischievous six-year-olds) could achieve. They perched on a high branch, peering down at their unsuspecting targets.

Sure enough, there were two figures below them. One was indeed clutching an umbrella, while the other wore a raincoat that seemed excessive given the current lack of precipitation.

Sora leaned in close to Hanabi, whispering, "Okay, here's the plan. I'll create a distraction, you sneak around and disable Raincoat Guy, and the clone will take care of Umbrella Girl. Ready?"

Hanabi nodded, her Byakugan already activated beneath her disguise. The clone gave a thumbs up, then returned to its default expression of studied indifference.

"Alright," Sora grinned. "Let's give them a show they'll never forget!"

With that, he leapt from the branch, his hands already forming seals. As he fell, he called out in a booming voice that seemed far too loud for his small frame:

"Behold, mortals! I am the great and powerful Oz! Tremble before my mighty... wait the wrong story. I mean, I am the fearsome Forest Spirit! Yeah, that's it!"

As he landed, Sora slammed his palms on the ground. "Forest Spirit Art: Dance of the Dryads!"

The two ninjas below barely had time to register their shock before the trees around them sprang to life. Branches twisted and contorted, forming vaguely humanoid shapes. Leaves rustled to create an eerie whisper that sounded suspiciously like, "You kids get off my lawn!"

The Umbrella Girl recovered first, snapping open her weapon and launching a barrage of senbon at Sora. But the self-proclaimed "Forest Spirit" was ready. He raised his hand dramatically, and a wall of twisting vines shot up from the ground, catching the senbon mid-flight.

"Your mortal weapons cannot harm me!" Sora declared, his voice echoing unnaturally. "For I am one with the forest, and the forest is one with... wait, is that poison ivy?"

He paused, scratching furiously at his arm where a vine had brushed against him. "Note to self: become one with a less itchy forest next time."

The momentary distraction was all Hanabi needed. She appeared behind the Raincoat Guy in a flash, her fingers already striking his chakra points with pinpoint accuracy. The ninja stumbled, his eyes wide with shock as he felt his chakra network being systematically shut down.

Meanwhile, Sora's clone had engaged Umbrella Girl in what could only be described as the world's most ridiculous duel. The clone wielded a large branch like a sword, parrying the umbrella's thrusts with exaggerated flourishes.

"En garde, mademoiselle!" the clone exclaimed in a terrible French accent. "Your umbrella is no match for my mighty... stick!"

Umbrella Girl, to her credit, adapted quickly to the absurdity of the situation. She twirled her weapon like a baton, deflecting the clone's wild swings. "You fool!" she cried. "My umbrella has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"

As the clone and Umbrella Girl continued their improbable duel, Raincoat Guy finally shook off his surprise and decided to bring out the big guns. He reached into his coat and pulled out... another umbrella?

"Prepare yourselves for my ultimate technique!" he shouted, pointing the umbrella at Sora and Hanabi. "Umbrella Release: Blinding Flash of A Thousand Suns!"

The tip of the umbrella began to glow ominously. Sora's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, shi-"

A burst of light erupted from the umbrella, so bright it seemed to turn day into noon. Sora, caught unprepared, was momentarily blinded. He staggered back, blinking furiously to clear the spots from his vision.

"My eyes!" he wailed dramatically. "I'm blind! I'll never be able to read my own prank scrolls again!"

Hanabi, however, was unfazed. Her Byakugan had protected her from the worst of the flash. She dashed towards Raincoat Guy, who was looking quite pleased with himself.

"Your cheap tricks won't work on a Hyuga!" she declared, her fingers glowing with chakra.

Raincoat Guy's smug expression quickly turned to one of panic. He raised his umbrella like a shield, but Hanabi was having none of it. Her chakra-enhanced strike shattered the umbrella and sent Raincoat Guy flying backwards into a tree.

Meanwhile, Sora had recovered enough to rejoin the fray. He formed a quick hand sign, and suddenly the forest floor was covered in a thick layer of mud.

"Mud Release: Slippery When Wet No Jutsu!" he called out, grinning maniacally.

Umbrella Girl, still locked in her improbable duel with the clone, suddenly found her footing very unstable. She slipped, her umbrella flying out of her hand as she landed unceremoniously on her backside.

The clone, somehow maintaining perfect balance on the muddy ground, pointed its stick at Umbrella Girl's throat. "Do you yield, mademoiselle?" it asked, still in that terrible French accent.

Umbrella Girl looked from the stick to the clone's impassive face, then to Sora and Hanabi who were advancing on her position. She sighed heavily. "I yield. But I demand a rematch once I've taken fencing lessons!"

Sora chuckled as he approached, producing a length of ninja wire to secure their captives. "Sorry, but I'm afraid this is a one-time performance. Now, if you'd be so kind as to tell us where your scroll is?"

Raincoat Guy, still dazed from his encounter with the tree, mumbled something unintelligible. Umbrella Girl rolled her eyes. "It's in his left inner pocket. Not that it'll do you much good now."

Sora raised an eyebrow as he fished out the scroll. "Oh? And why's that?"

Umbrella Girl smirked. "Because you've just painted a giant target on your backs. That little light show of yours probably attracted every team within a five-kilometre radius. I hope you're ready for company."

As if on cue, there was a rustling in the trees around them. Sora, Hanabi, and the clone quickly formed a defensive triangle, their backs to each other as they scanned the surrounding forest.

"Well," Sora said, his voice a mix of excitement and trepidation, "it looks like the real party is just getting started. Are you guys ready for round three?"

Hanabi shot him a look that was equal parts exasperation and determination. "Do we have a choice?"

The clone simply shrugged, pulled out its book again, and began reading.

As the sounds of approaching ninjas grew louder, Sora couldn't help but grin. This was turning out to be the most exciting and ridiculous Chunin Exam in history, and they were only on day one!

Little did they know, their greatest challenge was yet to come, and it would arrive in a whirlwind of sand and barely contained bloodlust.

As the sounds of approaching ninjas grew louder, Sora's mind raced with possibilities. They had two scrolls now, technically enough to pass the exam, but retreat wasn't really his style. Besides, he reasoned, the more teams they took out now, the less competition they'd have later.

"Okay, team," he whispered, "here's the plan. We're going to-"

He was cut off by a sudden gust of wind that sent leaves swirling around them. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees, and an oppressive feeling of dread settled over the clearing.