But the question was, how? How could I undo the damage I had done? How could I prove to her that I was serious, that I could be the man she deserved?
As I lay there, the room growing darker as the night wore on, a plan began to form in my mind. I needed to show Samantha that I was serious about her, that I was willing to change.
"I need to talk to her," I realized. "I need to tell her how I feel."
It wouldn't be easy. She had every right to hate me, to never want to see me again. But I had to try. I couldn't keep living this lie, running from my feelings.
Samantha POV
It had been weeks since I last heard from Jeremy. The man who had swept me off my feet and made me feel things I never thought possible had vanished.
His number was disconnected, he had checked out of the apartment I usually visited, and no one seemed to know anything about his whereabouts.
I was left in a state of confusion and frustration, my mind swirling with questions and doubts.Had I done something wrong? Was it something I said or did?
My father always called me "Miss Good for Nothing" and "unfortunate," and now those words echoed in my mind.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I was destined to be alone and unloved.I tried wrapping my head around it, but the more I thought about it, the more impossible it seemed.
The memories of that night with Jeremy, the night he took my virginity, were still vivid in my mind. It felt magical, the best night of my life. But now, thinking about it made me want to puke.
I felt dirty and used. Was the sex bad? Did I miss something?
In my desperation, I visited Chloe's place more often. Staying in that empty mansion alone was unbearable.
My mother was always with her new husband, clinging to him like a handbag. Their love was something out of a fairy tale. He adored her, took care of her, and they were always attending parties and investor meetings together, acting like high school lovers.
It was good for them, but it made my situation feel even more pathetic. Unlike my mother, I had no one to be clingy and touchy with. Just when I thought I had found the love of my life, he cheated on me and now Cavey, as I call him, had abandoned me too.
I felt like I was no good, just a piece of trash to be thrown away.
Chloe has been a rock for me during this time, but even her company couldn't pull me out of the abyss I was sinking into.
"Sam, you need to eat something," Chloe urged, her eyes filled with concern. "You can't keep drinking like this."
"I'm fine," I mumbled, pushing her hand away. "Just leave me alone."Chloe sighed, her frustration palpable. "You know where to find me if you need anything."After she left, I staggered to the bathroom, barely maintaining my balance as I leaned against the wall.
I relieved myself and returned to the room, grabbing another bottle of wine. This was the fourth one, but I didn't care. I needed to numb the pain, to forget about Jeremy and the way he had made me feel.
I emptied the bottle in one long gulp, feeling the liquid burn its way down my throat. I smiled bitterly as I collapsed onto the bed, the empty bottle slipping from my fingers.
The room spinned around me as I dozed off, my thoughts a chaotic mess of anger, sadness, and confusion.
My sleep was restless, filled with nightmares.
"You good for nothing, unfortunate child, I wanted a male child who would continue my legacy, not a wimp like you" Daddy barked.
"You are nothing absolutely nothing and I hate you, come here" he said as he raised his hands to hit me. "Dad please, I'm sorry please Dad" I cried, as I tried running, I saw cavey his face a mask of indifference as he walked away from me.
I called out to him, but he didn't even glance back. I was left standing alone, feeling more abandoned than ever.
When I woke up, my head was pounding, and my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I groaned and rolled over, trying to block out the sunlight streaming through the window.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I reluctantly reached for it, hoping for some distraction.It was a message from my mother.
"Sam, please come home. We need to talk."I stared at the message, feeling a surge of anger. Talk? What was there to talk about? She was too busy with her new husband to notice my pain.
I threw the phone aside and buried my face in the pillow, wishing I could disappear.
Hours passed, and I remained in bed, wallowing in my misery.
Eventually, I heard a knock on the door."Sam, it's Chloe. Can I come in?"
"Go away," I mumbled, not wanting to face anyone."Please, Sam. I just want to help."With a sigh, I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"Fine, come in."Chloe entered, her expression a mix of sympathy and determination. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Jeremy isn't worth it."
"But I love him," I said, my voice breaking. "I thought he loved me too."
"Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But you can't let him destroy you. You have to find a way to move on."I nodded, knowing she was right but feeling completely lost on how to do it.
Chloe sat beside me and took my hand."Let's go out," she suggested. "Get some fresh air, clear your head. It might help.
"Reluctantly, I agreed. I knew staying cooped up in this room wasn't helping. Maybe a change of scenery would do me some good.
Chloe and I left the apartment and walked through the park nearby. The fresh air and the sound of birds chirping were a stark contrast to the dark, suffocating atmosphere of my room.
We sat on a bench, watching people go by."Do you ever wonder if you'll find someone who truly loves you?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Of course," Chloe replied. "But I've learned that you can't force it. Love finds you when you least expect it."
"I hope you're right," I said, staring at the ground. "Because right now, it feels like I'll never be happy again."
"You will be," she assured me. "But first, you need to learn to love yourself."Her words struck a chord.
I had spent so much time seeking validation from others, trying to fill the void left by my father's harsh words and my mother's neglect.
Maybe it was
time to focus on myself, to find my own worth independent of anyone else's approval.