Forest of Madness

There's not a day that goes by that my nights aren't sleepless, that I rise at dusk without being caked in a sweat. They began when I was seventeen...13 years ago. After an old friend took his own life. It started after I awoke along the outer edge of a forest near Locke's house. It was pitch black as I stood up; greatly disoriented. My ears rang as though I was within a church bell unable to block out the loud droning sounds of my own skull. As I shakily looked upon the forest it felt as though it sought to pull me in, before I knew it I had unconsciously bitten my fingernail until blood started trickling down from my index finger as I stared into the dark and foreboding forest. I do not remember the before or after. In the next moment I awoke in a hospital. They told me they found me along the forest of the VFW: I had a sprained ankle, Ruptured eardrums and some sort of shock based amnesia.

The police questioned me before I ever got to meet my parents in the hospital room. They told me that they followed my footprints deep into the dark forest and found Locke Sever's body. At first they were cordial but soon they started using phrases and terminology to lead me into confessing for murder. Locke was my best friend, it was he who helped me adapt when I changed schools for fighting due to my rampant anger issues. If not for him I would not be 'Me', I'd have probably followed the path of my no good Father who was serving time in prison for murder. After realizing what the officers were doing I flew into an unnatural rage. I did not shout. I stared coldly with a hot burning gaze unfit for a 17 year old boy, whispering at a volume too quiet to hear. At this point I felt as though I had no control. That I was forced to occupy a vessel with a broken wheel along the roaring waters of my anger. Before my body could lunge I started to seize, I was having a stress induced stroke.When I awoke once more my Mother was holding my hand, praying to Jesus Christ of Nazareth to awaken her son. Later on I found out I had been unconscious for 2 weeks. When I was fit to return home I was informed by the police that their investigation of the death of Locke Sever was over. He seemed to have taken his own life with his father's .357 Magnum Revolver. Ever since that day I've been having nightmares of that forest. Every Day. At one point in time the nightmares were so bad I adopted a 5 hour sleeping schedule, hoping to avoid that forest but every time without fail that insidious forest would creep into my mind. Sometimes a series of images from within the forest would invade my dreams. Within them a mysterious figure would appear cloaked in shadow. It was as if the forest itself was watching me. When I was 21 I had been accepted into the University of Missouri on an English scholarship. At the time I thought the dream's were simply guilt remaining on my part about Locke's death. The guilt, in my mind, was so great the entire event layed as a dormant memory refusing to show itself within the files of memories in my folder like mind. When I arrived at the university I took to it like a fish to water. Unfortunately I'd never finish my scholarship. The dream's proved to be too much and so I took a leave of absence from the university. At the time I thought once the dream's died down I could go back and finish but how foolish was I? At 24 I started to see Locke's dead body within my dreams. Shards of his skull scattered around him like shards of broken porcelain. when I reached 27 I became suicidal. The dreams only got worse with time and my will was weakening. Even now hearing the word lock would send me drowning into the deepest depths of despair. Whatever happened in that forest, I feel guilt. I was with Locke upon his death, I was there and yet I can't remember anything related to the incident. It makes me wonder, what the hell happened in the forest?Sometime in July around two months after I turned 27 I turned to drinking. If I wasn't working I was numbing myself within bars hoping to poison and kill the guilt inside me. It never worked of course, the dreams came either way; whether I could perceive them or not they came. Thankfully I soon stopped after 3 months with the help of my then girlfriend. After meeting her, for a moment, the forest vanished from my dreams. She helped me forget the indescribable depression that clung to me for most of my life. But it wasn't destined to continue. After one of my jobs I found her walking down the road arm interlocked with a fancily dressed man. He and I were day and night; He wore precious cloth's and drove a bright red Lambo; I was decked in my garbage man clothes with my 1996 Pontiac Grand Am parked in a gas station. When we met eyes my heart broke. She looked at me with shock, but before the shock I saw it. The twisted contorted look of seeing your lesser. It was only a moment but in that moment I knew I had to go. Should I stay and acknowledge the situation I would surly crumble. So, I cowardly dragged myself into my car and drove to my apartment complex.When I reached home I cried myself asleep...and the nightmare returned stronger then its ever been. I awoke not even 15 minutes after shutting my eyes; my head throbbing from the mental anguish of watching the forest and seeing Locke's body over again through what felt like agonizing eternity. I dragged myself out of bed and crawled towards my closet a few feet from the end of my bed. I had to force myself upright through herculean effort and my hand started reaching for a metal case at the top of my closet. I tried to gently grab the case but my lumbering exhausted body sloppily pulled the case off the shelf onto my chest causing me to fall with the case. I then tried entering my code to open the case. All this was heard by my roommate who entered the room to the sight of me fumbling the case open with tears streaming down my face. After the case opened I pulled out Locke's father's .357 Magnum. Locke's father gave it to me after Locke's death. I do not know why but I guess he wanted me to always remember what happened to Locke. At least, that's what the pure hatred in his eyes told me. I grabbed the gun put it into my mouth, cocked the hammer back and fired. In that madness I was unwilling to continue this cruel game known as life. Fortunately I never had the gun loaded, I knew myself more than anyone. With a resounding *Click* my roommate's pupils shrank to a pin as he lunged at me and wrested the gun from my tall stocky figure. He yelled at me with the gun in hand, clearly in shock that I so readily took an attempt at my own life. After that he forced me to go on a drive with him. I told him what happened and we talked until the sun started to rise. I'm immensely grateful to him and out of respect I will not state his name. After that incident I grew cold with others, I no longer trusted women and grew too afraid to befriend another man besides my roommate. So, I was stuck on an island of isolation with a population of me. Once I hit 28 I had greatly changed. I hurt people, scammed people...I did whatever I needed to do in order to get money for my illicit activities of isolation such as cam girls, pornography, videogames and whatever that didn't require me to open my heart to another. Now I hit 30 and the dreams have started to physically affect me. That forest calls to me. For what reason I do not know but I'm starting to suffer from constant nosebleeds, blood vessels popping in my eyes and random bruises appearing all over my body. The other day I suffered a stress induced seizure that almost killed me. If I do not go back to that wretched and horrible place...I'm afraid at what else it might do to me. I've never been one for the supernatural however what is happening to me matches the wives tales told around my hometown and the myths of that cursed forest. I plan to go tomorrow. I must cross 3 states in order to get to Eaton Rapids Michigan. From there its a 6 minute drive to get to the forest. I hope my car can afford the journey. If need be I will walk. Whether I die in that forest or resolve these terrible nightmares I do not care. I just seek for this torture to end. One way or another.