"…I don't know. I don't know if this is okay or not."
Asha replied with a sigh.
However, Decker, who had lived a few more years, quickly understood the meaning of her words.
"The fact that you don't know means it's not okay."
"Is that so? But… if you think about it, there's no reason why it shouldn't be okay."
Right now, she might be standing boldly in front of Carlyle, but strictly speaking, he was a man of such status that Asha could not even dare to meet his eyes.
And yet, such a great man was helping to rebuild Pervaz, and on top of that, he was being very understanding of their situation.
So, she couldn't find the reason for this strangely sinking feeling.
"Well, it's useless to dwell on this. It's late at night, so let's go in and get some sleep."
Asha smiled faintly and tried to turn around again, but Decker grabbed her shoulder and turned her back.
"Don't bury your feelings like that. It will explode. In a very bad way."
"Then what do you want me to do? I don't even know why I'm like this."
"You know. You're just pretending not to know."
Asha hated Decker when he was like this.
She would have liked it better if he had just joked around like he always did and pretended not to know.
But Decker always picked up on the things that Asha wanted to avoid.
"Are you trying to be considerate of me? Do you think I'm going to judge you?"
"It's not like that. It's just… I'm tired right now."
"Is it because of His Highness Carlyle?"
"Everything is related to His Highness Carlyle, so what do you want me to say if you ask me that? Stop it."
Asha wished Decker would just stop and leave. But he had never granted her that wish even once.
"Are you hurt in your pride? Or are you resentful of someone?"
In the end, he makes her reveal her ugly side that she wanted to hide.
"…"
"Asha. Why are you trying to hide it? If you're hurt, you can always tell me. You have the right to do so!"
"…What do you know?"
The words that seemed to have burst out after holding back for so long made Decker flinch as well.
"What do I know? On the contrary, let me ask you. What don't I know?"
"Sigh…"
Asha looked around the empty corridor of the castle and sighed heavily, rubbing her face with both hands.
She felt suffocated.
If I just spill everything out like Decker said, will I feel better?
"Everything is going well. We have received much more support than we expected from the Emperor, and the lives of the people of the territory have blossomed. Things that we couldn't even imagine a year ago are being realized. Yes, it's a happy thing!"
How much I've dreamed of this.
I've never been so happy and excited in my life.
"But… ."
"But?"
"Sigh… ."
Asha sighed again.
She didn't want Decker to see her ugly side like this.
But Decker didn't seem like he was going to back down, and Asha herself wanted to vent somewhere.
"But I actually… I think I wanted to do it all on my own."
At first, she thought it was an incredibly good deal. She was grateful for the wealth and supplies that Carlyle provided, and she was happy to see the impoverished territory come to life.
But as time went on, and especially after seeing the soldiers of the Pervaz army admire Carlyle today, she felt even more uncomfortable.
"Even if it wasn't me… If only His Highness Carlyle were here… Pervaz… ."
She can swear that she is happy that Pervaz is being rebuilt.
But she really couldn't understand why she felt so disappointed.
Asha couldn't finish her words and avoided Decker's gaze. However, Decker looked at her with an incredulous expression.
"Asha, you were thinking that?"
He had only thought that Asha was upset that she didn't have a chance to show off her skills in today's sparring session.
After all, the best for the Pervaz warriors has always been the people of the Pervaz Castle.
He never imagined that Asha would think that she couldn't find meaning in her own existence.
"You idiot! What the hell are you… ! Ugh, what am I going to do with this idiot?"
"What?"
"Asha. We… We are… ."
Decker gulped several times to suppress the emotions that were welling up in him.
"What are you trying to say?"
"When we went to Gyro and came back… Do you know how miserable and guilty we felt?"
"Why… ?"
"Because we were so incompetent… Really, we owe you so much… ."
"What are you talking about?"
Decker, his voice thick with emotion, sniffed back his tears and spoke.
"We're living off of selling you!"
He could no longer hold back the tears, and covered his eyes with his massive hands.
"Even though it's called a 'contract', we're no different from selling your life to survive. We're not stupid enough not to realize that."
Asha's life could be taken away with a single word from Carlyle, or with a single outburst of anger from the Empress.
In truth, it was nothing more than a convenient excuse to turn a blind eye and sacrifice her life without any consequences, all under the guise of a 'fictional wife'.
Even though he knew this, he couldn't bring himself to actively dissuade Asha. Too many lives were at stake.
"If it wasn't for you, we would have returned empty-handed. Countless more people would have died this winter. Who do you think is responsible for changing that bleak future?"
Asha could only stare blankly at Decker, who was sobbing despite his large size.
"Just call us worthless brats! Get angry and say that my life has become a living hell because of you!"
"De, Decker…"
"If you're going to say that you're useless, that things will be better for Pervaz with just His Highness Carlyle, then just curse at us!"
Asha, slightly taken aback, tried to calm Decker down, but he continued to shout, as if he wasn't finished yet.
"The lord we serve is Asha Pervaz, not Carlyle Evaristo!"
Asha, her mouth agape, stared at Decker before slowly patting his shoulder, once and then again.
"…Thank you."
At those words of gratitude, Decker burst into tears again.
But unfortunately, Decker's sincerity didn't fully reach Asha.
'Yes, I am the lord of Pervaz.'
Her wavering heart straightened up again.
However, Asha, who had been born as the daughter of Amir Pervaz and had only learned about duty and responsibility, once again thought only of her own responsibilities.
'I am the one who must pay His Highness Carlyle for all of this.'
Carlyle had already poured a tremendous amount of money and resources into Pervaz. And the time to pay the price would soon come.
'I must protect Pervaz to the end. Let's focus.'
Asha thanked Decker and made up her mind to use herself as a bargaining chip.
If Decker had known, he would have stayed up all night trying to change her mind.
***
A month or so after the joint training began, ominous clouds began to gather over Pervaz.
"Something's strange over there…"
Asha muttered as she looked through the binoculars at the border.
It was late April.
Up until the middle of last year, Pervaz had been nothing more than a barren wasteland, but now it was a feast of green in every direction.
Flowers bloomed here and there, and the wheat sown last year and the barley sown this spring had sprouted and filled the fields.
It would have been all well and good if that was all there was to see, but something strange caught their eye beyond the barrier.
"Huh? You're right. It looks a little different from what I saw the day before yesterday."
Carlyle took the binoculars from Asha and looked at the border, tilting his head.
It was blurry because it was so far away, but it seemed like some kind of large structure was covered with a cloth that was the same color as the ground.
It was impossible to tell when it had been built. Until now, it had simply looked like the ground, swollen from the melted snow.
But today, it was clear that there were long poles sticking up into the sky.
'I guess they couldn't even hide that from us? Or maybe they decided they didn't need to hide it anymore…'
The latter possibility was more dangerous.
But apart from all that, this was an unprecedented situation.
This was because the savages of the abandoned land did not have the intelligence or the resources to build and erect something so solid.
"This is strange. It's too strange."
Asha uneasily paced back and forth by the window and raised the binoculars again several times.
The fact that she couldn't tell the exact shape of the structure because of the camouflage only added to her anxiety.
It was bigger than a wagon but smaller than a building. No, to be precise, it seemed to be as tall as a decent building, but its volume was much smaller.
'It's like… a skeleton of a structure.'
As Asha was trying to guess the identity of the hidden object, Carlyle, who was looking at it with her, asked.
"The Igram tribe? Or maybe another tribe?"
"I'm not sure. The savages of the abandoned land don't exactly have clearly defined territories."
At that, Carlyle asked, as if he had realized a new possibility.
"Then is it possible that it's a coalition of several tribes?"
"That's possible, but now that the main tribe, the Lure tribe, has fallen, there is no main tribe to lead the other tribes."
"Then which tribe is the next largest after the Lure tribe?"
"That would be the Igram tribe."
However, Asha thought it was unlikely to be the Igram tribe.
'It's hard for them to regroup in such a short time after being so badly beaten last time.'
As harsh as Pervaz was, no, perhaps even more so, the abandoned land was also lacking in everything.
Then, suddenly, an old memory came to mind.