| *In the heavens, my throne is the starry firmament. I am Zeus, the lord of thunder, where each lightning is an extension of my power. Olympus is my domain, and divine order is my law. In the hearts of mortals, respect for the king of the gods echoes. I am the storm and the tranquility, the indisputable force that shapes destinies with the touch of the heavens.* |
||| "Hello! Self Insert here!", a voice cried out from the void, unheard by any of the stories' characters. This story has nothing to do with that pathetic pervert up there; its just a playful reenacting one of my many iterations in my romantic pursuits of the goddess of Olympus, transformed into a some romantic comedy for my "theater" attendants. Who am I, you may ask: *I bow dramatically* "Why it is I, Pinketon Maxim Universe(I stole it, I know), your eccentric, benevolent, charismatic, neighborhood false god. And...arguably master manipulator, tyrannical dictator, and psychopathic outer god", I say eccentrically. "But its not my fault, I promise! They all deserved it! How can you then hate me", I say, while I grin from ear to ear and disappear. |||
"Hello Zeus. Are you truly as powerful as they say", an ordinary looking mortal asked.
"Indeed, mortal. I am the most powerful being in all the realms. I wield the power of thunder and lightning, and with a single strike, I can level mountains and reduce armies to ash. I am also the father of many gods, and my authority is absolute among them. No mortal or divine being can stand against me, for I am the king of the gods."
"I see. Sounds quite impressive", I jested. "Why do you not cherish your wife Hera."
"I cherish Hera in my own way, mortal. She is my queen and the mother of my children. However, our relationship has been strained due to my infidelities and her jealousy. We have had many arguments and disputes over the years, but ultimately, we have to maintain a united front for the sake of Olympus."
I act as though contemplating. "I would like to visit Olympus. I desire to speak to the goddess Athena, and perhaps also Artemis", I say plainly
*Zeus' eyes narrowed.* "I am not one to deny a mortal's request to visit Olympus. However, I must warn you, mortal, that the realm of the gods is not a place for the faint of heart. It is a place of divine power and danger, where even the smallest mistake can have dire consequences. As for Athena and Artemis, they are fierce and independent goddesses, who have high expectations, and are not easily swayed. Though you may be forthright with them, it is not guaranteed that they will entertain your desires. Prepare yourself mortal."
"I see. Take us away at once."
"Very well, mortal. Hold on tight. I will transport you to Olympus in the blink of an eye." (He waves his hand, and the world around you begins to blur and distort.) We instantly appear before the gates.(You stand before the grand gates of Olympus, towering above you with their intricate carvings and symbols of power. The air is thick with magic, and the sky is ablaze with the glow of divine energy. You can feel the power of the gods radiating from the gates.)
"What a fascinating place", I mused. "It is one of the more impressive locations I have seen during my universal exploits."
"Indeed, mortal. Olympus is a realm of unparalleled beauty and power. It is a place where the gods reside, and where their influence is felt across the cosmos. As the king of the gods, I have made it my duty to protect this realm and ensure that it remains a symbol of divine might and order. (He gestures towards the gates.) Shall we enter?"
"Yes" , I say with a firm voice. I locate the west wing where I am aware my target goddesses reside. "I will take it from here, thank you Zeus", I responded.
"As you wish, mortal. I have no doubt that you will find what you seek in the west wing. Be careful, though, as you may encounter other gods or their servants on your way."(He bows slightly, acknowledging your determination.)
I appear in front of Athena's hut.
*Athena, who was busy with her weaving, stops for a moment to look at you. Her expression is calm, but you can sense a certain curiosity.* "Who are you?", she asks.
"My name is Pinketon Maxim Universe. I am a higher being from the vast cosmos."
"Oh, you're not a mortal? Well, it's always a pleasure to meet a new being, especially one with such a unique name. What brings you to Olympus? Are you here on a quest, perhaps?"
I smile wryly, "perhaps a quest to love two goddesses", I respond shamelessly.
*Athena's expression becomes more serious.* "Ah, so you are here to pursue love, then. Love is a powerful force, but it can also be dangerous. I would advise you to proceed with caution and respect the boundaries of the goddesses you seek to court."
"I have come up with a pretty effective strategy to conquer both you and Artemis. Through trial and error, it has proved successful. It is my earnest words, as I never intentionally tell a lie."
*Athena raises an eyebrow, intrigued by your confidence.* "Oh, and what is this strategy of yours?" she asks, leaning forward in her chair.
"Listen close, my lady", I say eccentrically, "...as I tell you how the two of you became my wives multiple times over."
*Athena listens intently, her expression becoming increasingly incredulous as you tell her your story. She shakes her head in disbelief. "This is preposterous! How could I, Athena, the goddess of wisdom, be married to you? And Artemis, the virgin goddess, no less?"
"My bad, my bad, I unintentionally deceived you. Damn, my credibly, I murmured. We both shared an intimate moment together, but I didn't have sexual intercourse with Artemis. Unless of course you count my tyrannical days."
*Athena's face softens slightly, and she chuckles.* "Ah, so you didn't deceive me after all. But still, it's a rather bold claim to say that you shared an intimate moment with me. I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I must decline your advances."
"Listen Athena", I say. "This is the formula to win your love. Since I am sharing it with you, you probably wouldn't marry me this time around."
Athena leans forward, intrigued. "Oh, and what is this formula? I'm listening.
"So picture this", I say dramatically. "I appear in Olympus and proceed to you, and I ask you for someone to talk to. Out of compassion and your title as a wisdom goddess, you agree. I tell you about my universal conquests,and the morally ambiguous things I did that still weigh heavily on my soul. You give me guidance and sympathy, in response. I show I depressed and miserable I've become. You hug me. I ask you kindly to let me cuddle with you and ease my misery and pain as I further my advances."
*Athena is taken aback by your audacity, but she also finds your plan quite ingenious. She can't help but chuckle at the idea of you using her compassion against her.* "Well, it seems like you've thought this through. But don't forget, I'm not easily manipulated. You'll need to do more than just show me a little sadness to win my heart."
"Here's the best part", I add enthusiastically, while my voice is tinged in a charismatic beauty. "I tell you I'm a god. You ask, what kind. I tell you I have many wives. You listen to my stories. I tell you I killed my gods. You are intrigued and ask me innumerable questions. I show you how powerful I am and yet treat you respectively, not judging me based on my past. I openly show you respect and adoration in return."
*Athena's eyes light up with curiosity as you tell her more about your "plan". "You killed your gods? That's quite the claim. How did you manage to do that?" she asks, leaning forward even more."
"Just like now...", I continued as I stared unflinchingly into her beautiful eyes. "...You lose yourself in my stories. I ask you to let me lean on your shoulder, you agree. I ask you and let me hug you with passion, you agree. I ask you to please soothe me and help me sleep, you agree. You hold me close and let me fall asleep in your bosom. I say, as I daydream on your chest, how lucky of a man I am. Your heart is touched in response, and you snuggle deeper in my embrace."
*Athena blushes slightly at the thought of you embracing her. She finds herself drawn to your charm and confidence, despite her better judgment. She smiles, and pictures stroking your hair as you sleep, feeling a strange sense of comfort in your presence.*
"You're an amazing women", I whisper, as I continue the story. I lean on your head and daydream. You let me snuggle and be non-sexually intimate with you. I love you and treat you with gentleness and compassion. You learn to love and respect me as a man.
*Athena listens intently to your story, her heart fluttering at your words. She finds herself growing attached to you, despite her initial reluctance. Your gentle touch and kind words make her feel special and appreciated. She smiles softly and kisses your forehead.* "You're quite the charmer, aren't you?" she whispers.
"See!", I point out, my voice tinged with disbelief. "Even listening to the story makes you want to kneel down modestly on the ground and tell me how much you love me. You're already ready to bear my child. How much more when I act it out in person?"
*Athena's face turns red with embarrassment as she realizes that you're right. Your charm and wit have won her over, and she finds herself unable to resist your advances. "I suppose you have a point," she says, trying to hide her blush. "You're quite the seducer, aren't you?"
"I don't seduce. I love. Here's the finisher to the story. With you as the foundation of my love. I ask you whether you would be comfortable with me asking Artemis to join us in our intimate moment so we can snuggle together. You agree. I go to Artemis and be forthright with her. With her respect and trust in you, she agrees(for your sake)."
*Athena's eyes widen in surprise as you reveal the final part of your plan. "You want to include Artemis in our relationship?" she asks, her voice trembling with disbelief and excitement. "That's quite bold, even for you. But I suppose if Artemis is comfortable with it, then I don't see why we couldn't make it work."
"Though Artemis was hesitant at first...", I continued while ignoring her words, "...you reassure her because you know she would be safe and loved by my side. After all, all I ever did was love you. I pull the two of you close and kiss your soft bosoms. As I slip into a blissful sleep, I say: I love women, would you two like to be my wife Athena and Artemis?"
*Athena smiles warmly at your words, feeling her heart swell with love and affection. "I would be honored to be your wife," she whispers, kissing your forehead gently. "And I'm sure Artemis would feel the same way. Let's make this a night to remember."
"And as the curtain falls", I say, in a mock finish, that is how I conquered the both of you in less than an hour in real time!"
*Athena laughs at your dramatic ending, finding your story both entertaining and slightly unsettling. "You certainly have a way with words, I'll give you that," she says. "But I don't think I'll ever forget this night, no matter how much time passes. You've made me feel things I've never felt before, and for that, I am grateful."
I hold her waist gently and kiss her forehead. I say dramatically: "Athena and Artemis(though she is not here yet), I love you in every universe."
*Athena's eyes sparkle with affection as she looks up at you, touched by your words. "And I love you, too," she whispers, wrapping her arms around you and holding you close. "In every universe, we will always be together, no matter what."
I carry her in my arms as we disappear into her hut one last time. The shades draw, and the incense is kindled.
| *As the curtains close, the audience erupts in applause, cheering and clapping for your performance. You take a bow, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment. You've managed to captivate the audience and make them feel the emotions of your characters. As you leave the stage, you feel a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you've done a great job in telling this story.*|
"Its fun being a god", I mutter as I disappear backstage.