C92. Crying.
Chu Hechao's breathing became heavy as if he hadn't heard clearly, "What did you say?"
The gentle breeze carried intense heat, making it dizzyingly suffocating.
Eunuch Yang choked up as he revealed the details.
Originally, the Prince Chu and Madam Yang planned to escape from Luoyang before the Emperor Yuan's death, but Luoyang closed its gates when the Emperor fell ill. Li Li, ambitious and wary of Chu Hechao's power with his 130,000-strong army in the North, kept a close eye on the Prince Chu and Madam Yang, preventing them from leaving the city.
Li Li feared Chu Hechao's retaliation and intended to use the Prince Chu and Madam Yang as leverage to keep Chu Hechao in check.
If it had stopped there, the Prince Chu and Madam Yang would not have died.
Li Li had no intentions of harming the Prince Chu and Madam Yang. As long as they were alive, even if Chu Hechao was disobedient by nature, he would have to pretend to be filial and obey Li Li.
However, with the Prince Chu and Madam Yang's death, Chu Hechao would have a legitimate reason to attack him.
Though Li Li had been relatively polite towards the Prince Chu and Madam Yang, he underestimated the eunuchs' actions.
When Chu Mingfeng died, eunuchs had come to offer condolences but were driven away by Chu Hechao's soldiers. The resentful eunuchs tampered with the military rations sent to the North, providing Chu Hechao with tainted provisions.
With the Emperor's illness, no one could support them anymore.
The eunuchs panicked, fearing Chu Hechao's retribution, and they threatened the Prince Chu and Madam Yang to have them write a letter to Chu Hechao pledging allegiance and promising not to harm the eunuchs.
Their greed and ambition blinded them, thinking that with Chu Hechao and his 130,000-strong army by their side, they could overpower Li Li, supporting a puppet Emperor to the throne.
But the Prince Chu and Madam Yang could not endure such humiliation.
Their eldest son had already been killed. How could they let their other son bear the disgrace of being a lackey for the eunuchs and face the scorn of the world, becoming a weak spot for coercion?
With the Prince's resolute nature and Madam Yang's inner strength, they chose the path of loyalty and righteousness. In the end, after strenuous efforts, they managed to send a few daughters with loyal servants to safety in Ruyou, before drinking a cup of poisoned wine in their eldest son's room, joining him in the afterlife.
As Madam Yang drank the poison, she felt a sense of relief, longing to reunite with her eldest son and feeling she had lived long enough. But as her consciousness began to fade, looking at her son's belongings in the room, she suddenly remembered Chu Hechao.
A strong sense of regret surged within her as she realized she could no longer recall the details of Chu Hechao's room or her memories of her sons, only faint images of their childhood and adulthood. It was only in her final moments that she realized the extent of her mistakes.
The only thing she regretted was leaving her son, Ciyue. The only thing she could do for her son was to die.
Eunuch Yang wept, conveying Madam Yang's final words, "Before she passed, she asked me to deliver a message to you. She said, 'Mother apologizes to you, Ciyue. You must live well from now on. Mother will go first to accompany your elder brother.'"
Eunuch Yang, despite being a eunuch, had some ties with the Yang family and had distanced himself from the intrigues of the imperial palace. The conversation weighed heavily on him, unable to bear the sorrow and pain caused by the actions of the eunuchs.
Since asking that question, Chu Hechao fell silent.
Amidst the chaotic cries, the three daughters of the concubines who had escaped from the Prince's mansion also stood nearby, sobbing and wiping away tears.
Yuan Song looked weary as he shamefully approached Chu Hechao, whispering, "After the Prince Chu and Madam's death, Li Li dared not spread the news, fearing... He had them buried secretly, and I did my best to transport their bodies. However, the long and hot journey made it impossible to bring them to Youzhou, so I decided to place them next to your elder brother's grave... I only brought three maidens from the mansion to Youzhou. General... Yuan is ashamed."
Chu Hechao remained silent.
He was eerily quiet, a silence that sent shivers down people's spines.
Many worried eyes were fixed on Chu Hechao, while Eunuch Yang had fainted from fear, adding to the chaos.
Amidst the hustle and bustle, cries and wails mixed together, dew-drenched lotus seeds shattered on the floor from someone's sleeve.
A year ago, the white cloth draped over the Prince Chu's mansion in Luoyang marked the departure of Chu Mingfeng.
A year later, white cloth covered the Chu family mansion in Youzhou, signifying the passing of Chu Hechao's parents.
The sounds of cicadas and frogs in the manor had diminished, as if they understood the heavy atmosphere and stayed silent. In the hall, two empty coffins contained only the clothing of the Prince Chu and Madam Yang, the garments they had worn in their youth in Youzhou.
Even this had been a challenge for Chu Hechao to acquire.
Many mourners and angry individuals filled the room. Everyone felt uneasy, with red eyes and a sense of suffocation in their hearts.
Chu Hechao secluded himself in a room, refusing to see anyone.
Yuan Li prepared a bowl of noodles and approached him. Upon entering, he found Chu Hechao sitting still in a chair, reminiscent of a stone statue.
The room was stuffy and dim, devoid of airflow.
Yuan Li cleared his throat and closed the door, settling down next to Chu Hechao. He touched the pot of water, which had arrived full in the morning and now remained untouched but cooled.
With a gentle tone, he offered Chu Hechao the noodles, saying, "Have some food."
Chu Hechao remained silent, just sitting there.
His face was stubbled, unmoving. In the dim light, Yuan Li could see his bloodshot eyes and the shadows beneath them, a heavy sense of oppression emanating from him.
Yuan Li fought back a pang of emotion, softly urging, "Ciyue, please eat a little."
Finally, Chu Hechao spoke, his voice hoarse and strained, "Take it away." He seemed to be consumed by a rough, raspy tone.
Yuan Li hesitated, then changed his address, "Brother, would you..."
"I said take it away!" Chu Hechao erupted in anger.
Yuan Li dropped the chopsticks, staring at Chu Hechao in shock.
Seeing Yuan Li's frightened expression, Chu Hechao snapped back to reality, emotions of grief, regret, and remorse crossing his face. Bending down to pick up the fallen chopsticks, he stood up, walked over to Yuan Li, and embraced him.
"I'm sorry," Chu Hechao's voice cracked, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Lejun."
Yuan Li shook his head, "I know you're suffering."
Chu Hechao held onto his arm tightly, tears welling up in his eyes, almost choking on his words, "How could they just die like that?"
How could they suddenly be gone?
Yuan Li felt a heavy weight in his chest, feeling breathless like being submerged underwater.
Having lost his parents in his past life, Yuan Li couldn't fathom the pain of losing them, but the mere thought brought agony. This immense grief lay heavily on Chu Hechao alone, making it unbearable.
How could people die so easily?
In chaotic times, they simply vanished.
Even someone like the Prince Chu perished as easily as a blade of grass.
Chu Hechao did not say a word or shed a tear after learning of his parents' death. He clung tightly to Yuan Li, his pain consuming him gradually. Buried in Yuan Li's neck, his hot tears trickled down Yuan Li's neck.
Unconsciously, Yuan Li began to cry as well, returning Chu Hechao's embrace, "I'll be here for you."
Chu Hechao gripped the back of Yuan Li's clothes tightly, his fingers trembling. Holding onto Yuan Li, it felt like he was grasping onto the last piece of driftwood.
The death of Chu Mingfeng had left a deep wound in his heart, and now that wound had deepened. Chu Hechao cared for his family, but they had all left him one by one. Now, he only had Yuan Li.
Just one Yuan Li left.
Later that evening, after crying, Chu Hechao appeared in the hall.
Expressionless, he knelt in front of the two coffins.
Even though his parents' bodies were not inside, he insisted on keeping vigil for seven days.
At night, when everyone had left, Chu Hechao remained alone in the hall.
Yuan Li returned from his parents, looking exhausted. Seeing Chu Hechao, he walked over and knelt beside him. Chu Hechao remained motionless and silent.
After a while, he hoarsely said, "Lejun."
Yuan Li responded, "Hmm."
Chu Hechao lowered his gaze to his hands, murmuring, "Am I just cursed with luck?"
Yuan Li's eyes widened in anger, "Who told you that?!"
Chu Hechao fell silent for a moment, "If not, how have I survived multiple near-death experiences while they all perished one by one?"
One died, then another.
Yuan Li suddenly grabbed his hand, his grip tightening, his face white with anger as he whispered, "Don't say such things to me!"
His chest heaved rapidly, "There is no such thing as being cursed with luck, Ciyue, don't entertain such thoughts! You still have several sisters who escaped, aren't they your family too?!"
Chu Hechao remained silent, then after a while, he moved his fingers and held onto Yuan Li's hand. Those half-sisters he had never met held no significance for Chu Hechao.
He gripped Yuan Li's hand tightly, the sound of their intertwined fingers echoing. Chu Hechao realized his mistake, releasing Yuan's hand, wiping his face, then mustering the courage to lift Yuan Li's chin and examine his face, "Does it hurt? Why didn't you tell me."
Yuan Li shook his head, then nodded slightly, his voice soft, "Don't think too much."
Chu Hechao forced a smile, "I'm afraid I might end up causing your death too."
Unable to hold back, tears streamed down Yuan Li's face.
Quietly bending down, Chu Hechao wiped away Yuan Li's tears with his fingers, then pulled him into an embrace, resting his chin on Yuan Li's head.
His stubble grazed Yuan Li's forehead as he gazed at the dark coffins in front of them.
A candle sparked, burning a small insect, smoke rising from burning paper money. The smoke veiled Chu Hechao's face but failed to mask his sorrow.
In times of mourning, one must cry. Tears provide some solace to the heart, yet Chu Hechao had not shed a single tear throughout the entire process, except for the one time on Yuan Li's shoulder.
The three Misses of the Chu family had cried until their eyes were swollen, mourning not only their father and stepmother but also their birth mother who had died in Luoyang, as well as their uncertain future.
As the one who had sheltered them was now gone, they felt lost without the familiar comfort of Chu Mingfeng. Chu Hechao's notoriety and the unfamiliarity of Youzhou did not offer them any sense of belonging or security. They were engulfed in sorrow, feeling restless and bewildered, pouring out their emotions through tears.
Observing their tearful state, Yuan Li occasionally wished that Chu Hechao would also release his emotions through tears.