Rui Xiaodan busied herself preparing the meal. She set the table with cutlery, cigarettes, and drinks, then started cooking rice to have as a post-drink meal. She plated the three cold dishes and reheated the three hot dishes. The scene was familiar—it was much like two years ago when she had invited Ding Yuanying for a drink, but today, her mindset was entirely different. Both used the same glass cups they used for water; Rui Xiaodan's was filled with cola, while Ding Yuanying's held white liquor.
Ding Yuanying glanced at his glass, filled with about four ounces of liquor.
Rui Xiaodan raised her half-glass of cola and said, "Drink slowly, don't get drunk. Today, I ask and you answer; we'll chat about anything and everything. Cheers!"
After taking a sip of his drink, Ding Yuanying said, "Let's start with the first question on your note. It's not about whether you can do it or whether your father or I wish for you to do it, but about whether you are suited to do it. Fundamentally, people face two issues: survival, which means staying alive, and answering the question of life's value, which means finding peace of mind."
Rui Xiaodan asked, "Have you found peace?"
Ding Yuanying smiled, "No, I have too much of a rogue nature. Even the pastor says I'm beyond saving."
Rui Xiaodan sighed deeply and said, "Taking from the rich to help the poor, destructively exploiting market resources, causing the spiritually confined to suffer mental collapse—these are foreseeable. I already feel guilty. If Lin Yufeng really jumps off a building, I'd feel even more guilty. It's not like killing a criminal. But I don't understand—was it wrong to help the poor? Was it wrong to engage in competition recognized and permitted by law? If farmers don't rely on their abilities, what's the way out for impoverished farmers? How can they be saved? This isn't a question that can be answered by specific cases; it falls to cultural attributes and understanding."
Ding Yuanying replied, "That's why I believe China needs another strong cultural communication company registered by you. You should integrate your social resources, spend several years studying and working, absorb and integrate scattered energy, starting with your first book, your first script, your first TV series. Use the narrative thinking of novels and the language of film and television to reveal the causal relationship between cultural attributes and fate, and to spread the logic, ethics, and values of a strong culture."
Rui Xiaodan said, "That's exactly what I want to do. I feel an overwhelming urge. Regardless of whether I am overestimating myself, I will study abroad for this. I aim to someday tell others in my way that gods are principles, principles are laws, and laws are immutable. Those who act according to these laws are divine."
Ding Yuanying raised his glass, "To your enlightenment."
Rui Xiaodan felt it was worth celebrating, took a sip of cola, and then asked, "When I study at Frankfurt University, where will you be?"
Ding Yuanying asked, "Where do you want me to be?"
Rui Xiaodan replied, "I hope you stay in the old house on Bülowstrasse. That's the right distance. Too close, I can't concentrate on studying; too far, I'll be too miserable. I'll study and work part-time, spend more time with my mother, and save some pocket money. Every weekend I'll visit you in Berlin, and each passing day will bring me closer to the weekend, living each day in hope."
Ding Yuanying said, "Then I'll stay in Berlin."
Rui Xiaodan said, "What I hope for isn't necessarily what you originally planned. Before you met me, what were your future plans? You can't stay in the ancient city temporarily forever."
Ding Yuanying replied, "I originally planned... No, it was my ideal... Once I had enough money, I'd buy a house like yours in the suburbs of Berlin, with a specially soundproofed listening room. No neighbors above, below, or around to complain about noise, and I could turn up the sound to the limit of my hearing, pure and true, drowned in music like 'Volga' or 'New World,' losing myself."
Rui Xiaodan said, "Such a house in Berlin costs more and has higher living expenses."
Ding Yuanying said, "When you don't have money, choose a quiet and low-cost place. When you can afford it, choose a quieter place. In Berlin, you don't have to worry about buying fake phones or tainted meat, or pleading with telecom companies over phone faults, or getting angry at officials running red lights. The law, security, and social services are better. I have no big ambitions, just want to live my life without bothering anyone."
Rui Xiaodan said, "The conversation between a woman and a man happens in two ways: lying down or standing up. I always imagine you as a wandering drunk, wanting to take you in but afraid of the high threshold. You said, just throw you a piece of bread, but the bread you want is too big. My poor family can't support you."
Ding Yuanying took another sip. The liquor in his glass was almost gone. He ate some red oil tripe and shredded tofu salad, then asked, "Why do you need to support me?"
Rui Xiaodan replied, "Psychologically, women need to. With you, I'm not confident enough to feel like I'm standing up and talking to you. But since God gave you that thing, you were born not needing proof."
Ding Yuanying said, "If supported like this, only that part of me would be of any use."
Rui Xiaodan smiled faintly, "So, your thinking needs to be useful. Our plans need to integrate and establish a structure. Ultimately, I'm too greedy, wanting eternity and standing conversations. Tell me, how much do you think I can earn from running a cultural company? Based on that, give me a design suggestion."
Ding Yuanying said, "In 1996, I said the state machine doesn't need a female detective who will eventually be eliminated, but society needs a talented person with significant achievements. Given your conditions, experience, and connections, with effort, you could earn at least 10 million yuan in 15 years. I have two suggestions: first, don't rely on job-seeking for a living. Academic degrees are insignificant; learn what's useful. Study for ten years, if necessary, without affecting your creation and business."
Rui Xiaodan was surprised, both by the earnings estimate and the attitude toward learning.
Ding Yuanying took a sip of liquor, lit a cigarette, and continued, "Second, I'll lend you 5 million yuan at a 3% annual interest rate, with a repayment of 7.25 million in the 15th year. Use this money to buy a house like yours in Berlin, supporting me. Calculate the house's 2% depreciation over 15 years as 1.5 million, plus 15 years' interest of 2.25 million, your absolute risk is 3.75 million. This is the cost of proving you're standing up and talking. For me, it's investment capital; for you, it's taking me in."
Rui Xiaodan added a bit of liquor to her glass and asked, "What if you find me old in five years?"
Ding Yuanying said, "Possible, and not just this 'if.' Maybe in five years, you'll find me dull, or maybe one day you'll kick me out. But that won't affect the independent creditor-debtor relationship or change today's facts. If I don't find you old in five years, can you not age? If I turn into a rogue in five years, would I be worth a second glance?"
Rui Xiaodan laughed, raised her glass, "I'll take your suggestion, deal!"
Ding Yuanying raised his glass, "To the new voice soon to emerge in China's cultural circle, cheers!"
After several rounds of drinks, night fell quietly, and the room grew darker. Rui Xiaodan got up, turned on the lights, and drew the curtains, then returned to her seat. She noticed the liquor bottle was more than half empty, with only a little left in Ding Yuanying's glass. He was already a bit tipsy.
Rui Xiaodan asked, "You've had quite a bit, want more?"
Ding Yuanying said, "The time you said I looked like a rogue, Han Chufeng and I drank two bottles, though we didn't finish. Today, you accepted my two-year-old suggestion, I'm happy, need to drink."
Rui Xiaodan said, "If it's not something I realize and understand, you can't give it to me, and even if you do, I can't hold onto it. Ye Xiaoming and the others are examples. Only what I realize and understand myself can I achieve. What I can achieve is truly mine."
With the effect of alcohol, Ding Yuanying felt warm and more talkative, saying somewhat drunkenly, "Be it cultural or survival art, with Dao but no technique, techniques can still be sought. With techniques but no Dao, it stops at techniques. Your future lies in unenlightened beings. People have no truth, only preferences, hence your value. Understanding the Dao is opening the celestial eye. You need a celestial eye, one that sees beyond politics, culture, tradition, and religion, then observes politics, culture, and tradition truthfully. Reversing the truth distorted by culture and morality, writing or filming with originality and depth—that's money, fame, success, value, whatever you can name."
Rui Xiaodan smiled silently, knowing he was speaking drunkenly. Though less restrained and focused, his words were more candid, making her feel close, comfortable, and warm.
Ding Yuanying took another sip, continuing enthusiastically, "Is there a difference between seeing with the Dao eye and with human eyes? Yes. What's a special sense? What's a high-minded theme and deep excavation? It's not digging ditches, digging as deep as you want. It's not climbing stairs, climbing as high as you want. If not on that path, you can't see its truth. High-minded themes and deep excavation are, at best, speculations, not ultimate."
Rui Xiaodan noticed Ding Yuanying, after sipping, subconsciously raised his glass to drink again, almost emptying it. She thought he was getting too drunk.
Ding Yuanying, under the influence of alcohol, rambled on, "Yesterday afternoon, I sat alone listening to music, the Soviet Red Army Choir's 'Volga,' repeatedly, picturing Russia resisting Napoleon and Hitler, feeling very melancholic. Russia is a great nation; no one in history could defeat them. But in the 50-year ideological confrontation between two world camps, they lost to a culture they hadn't fully understood. The U.S. culture's respect for objective laws won them victories beyond planes and cannons, even the U.N. became a neglected queen. In China, people criticize the Communist Party with democracy, but they don't realize China's political culture is also a victim of traditional culture. Blaming all cultural issues accumulated over thousands of years on a party with decades of history is unfair and not the real national condition..."
Ding Yuanying got a bit agitated, subconsciously raising his empty glass, then looked at Rui Xiaodan, seeing she had no intention of refilling it. He wanted to pour himself but was stopped by Rui Xiaodan.
Rui Xiaodan said, "You can't drink anymore, you'll get drunk."
Ding Yuanying, feeling the buzz, said, "Today is special, if not drunk today, when?"
Rui Xiaodan decisively took the half bottle of liquor away and turned on the electric kettle to make tea for Ding Yuanying. She handed him a cigarette and lighter, smiling tenderly, "Silly, precisely because today is special, you can't get drunk. If you get drunk, you won't do your work well."
Ding Yuanying said, "With half a catty of liquor down, the quality is definitely discounted."