Just InCommunityForumMoreFairy Love by Dr Yandere Anime » Fairy Tail Rated: M, English, Romance & Drama, [Erza S., Natsu D., Mirajane S.], Words: 119k+, Favs: 317, Follows: 324, Published: Aug 8, 2020 Updated: Jun 14, 2022214Chapter 8: Regret
I know it's upsetting how slow this is going, but I want to build it up properly for each moment to feel special. Otherwise, it will be rushed and look derpy as hell.
Anyway, what I want here is to make it somehow seem realistic but at the same time a work of fanfiction. Again, this is my take on how I wanted things to go in my head, seeing as how NaLu and JErza is getting closer and closer to being written in reality. This is a NaZa fanatic's last attempt to have some closure with his OTP before his dreams are shattered. What the hell drew me to a sinking ship (NaZa) anyway? Back then, it was fun while there was still hope. But now that it's pretty much 100% certain it's not happening, it's depressing as hell. Why, me, why?!
Also, this will be my shortest chapter thus far, but I hope you'll still like it anyway. I'm taking a week-long break from writing the chapter after this because I'm busy enrolling for my 2nd year here in college. Gotta watch out for my future, you know?
Please enjoy, my sons and daughters (lol)
Chapter 8: Regret
Natsu didn't know why Erza suddenly snapped.
"Erza? Why are you crying?" Natsu asked out of concern.
"Don't change the topic, Natsu." Erza firmly said. Since tears were pooling down her eyes, she didn't look convincing. What's up with her sudden mood change? More importantly-
"Wait… You know about me and Mira?" Now that he's had time to process what she just said, her tears distracting him from doing so, he just realized what happened.
"…" Erza wasn't responding because she was recomposing herself. She didn't know why she just snapped at him like that. Maybe it was the wedding, or the fact that Natsu isn't openly denying it anymore that he had a special someone already, but a switch suddenly went off in Erza's brain.
"Erza, what do you mean you know about me and Mira?" Natsu asked once again. He IS the type of guy to never let anything go.
"Wait, Natsu, I'm sorry about that. Just forget what I said" Erza tried salvaging the situation.
"No, I won't! I need to know what you meant just now" Natsu persisted.
"I said just drop it!" She was being kind enough to plead with him and he just ignores her? How dare he?
"Not until you tell me what you mean!"
"Just stop!" Erza was getting more and more desperate.
"Why?!" Natsu didn't know why Erza was being so stubborn. Did she think that he could just forget what she said?
"Because it won't change anything!" Erza sobbed. She was afraid of what would happen once Natsu admits his relationship with Mira out loud. That night when she witnessed her chance with Natsu shatter before her very eyes, she felt devastated. She didn't want to go to the guild the next day fearing what would happen next. But she had to, or else she'd make everyone worry. So, she steeled herself.
But when she got to the guild the next day, she was perplexed to find out no one knew the news of Natsu and Mira's relationship yet. Seeing Natsu and Mira already at the guild chatting away like lovebirds (something that made a vein pop in her forehead), she asked someone if something happened before her arrival. To her surprise (and delight), they haven't announced it yet. So she waited for the whole day, but nothing happened. She exercised her patience and waited some more, days turning to weeks, and weeks into months, but still nothing. They've fought Tartaros, they dealt with Avatar, they faced Zeref and Acnologia, and still there were no signs of Natsu and Mira being official.
Did she just imagine the events of that night? Was it an illusion? If it was, then it was a nightmare, and now she wanted to wake up.
But then she started noticing something everyone else was too ignorant or preoccupied to point out. Before she and Jellal got together (which happened a month after the 100 Years Quest, leaving plenty of time), Natsu and Mira started to go on jobs together, alone with each other. The story was that Mira had the knack for taking missions again, and since she felt the most comfortable with Natsu (as best friends in everyone's eyes), she chose to partner up with Natsu. It struck Erza as suspicious that they always go on missions together whenever Happy had something else to do, or simply wanted to stay behind out of laziness (you know how some cats are, psht).
She tailed them on one of their missions and made sure to mask her presence well, knowing how sharp Natsu's senses were.
When she saw them doing stuff not related to the mission and looking more like a date, she ignored it and told herself maybe they were just fooling around before the mission.
After spending an entire day and night not doing anything mission-related and then going back home straight away, it dawned on Erza. There was never any mission, they just used as an excuse to have some alone time with each other. When she followed them to Mira's house, she saw something that recreated the feelings she felt back then. They kissed each other good night.
It wasn't a dream, it wasn't an illusion, it wasn't her mind playing cruel tricks on her. It was real, and she was hit with the ugly truth.
Broken and vulnerable, she let her legs take her wherever. When she woke up, she was at Jellal's front door. From that point forward, we know how it goes. He confesses to her and she accepts him. Thinking back on it, the reason why she sought Jellal that time was probably because she was heartbroken, and she wanted someone to ease the pain in her heart. In that moment of vulnerability, she let herself inside his home and asked him to help her move on. She never imagined it would lead to them being together, but she saw this as a good sign that she can finally move on (as Natsu did) with someone else.
But women like her are more persistent.
Even when she already had Jellal, deep down, her heart was still begging her to go to Natsu's arms and wrap herself around him. Why couldn't she forget about him? Why was she like this to Jellal who was doing his best to help her move on?
She had yet to realize that her love for Natsu was a product of time and circumstance. If he didn't make that promise with her back then when she gave up hope for her future with Jellal, she wouldn't have been this affected. Seeing him break his promise made her feel like she wasn't important to him anymore. Her feelings intensified each time she saw him direct his loving gaze to someone else besides her. Soon, it became an obsession to grab his attention and make him see her as the only woman in the world in his eyes. Having been blessed with beauty and talent, she was one of those people who liked to have the unattainable, which is something she is yet to fully realize.
Going back to the present, Erza was still sobbing while Natsu was looking at her with an expression that said "What just happened?"
"What do you mean it won't change anything? It will." Erza looked up at him from her hands, feeling hopeful for some reason because of her misinterpretation of his words.
"What will it change?" She wanted to know what he meant by that. Will something change for him and Mira, or with her?
"Yeah. We can finally stop keeping it a secret." Erza's eyes widened when she realized what he meant by that. She knew there must have been a reason why they weren't telling anyone. Were they waiting for someone to find out first?
"My heart stopped beating for a second there when you said you knew about me and Mira, but now I'm glad that we can finally stop hiding it like this. Thanks, Erz." Natsu smiled at her sincerely.
Erza continued to look at him without saying something, her eyes displaying signs of disbelief.
"Natsu? What are you doing here?" Just as Natsu was about to ask Erza to say something, Jellal conveniently showed up.
Coming up with a plan-
"I was just warming up your spot here. Erza looked like she could use the company."
"Oh, thank you. But you can go back now, Gray's looking for you." Jellal smiled at how thoughtful Natsu was. He was really the type of guy who can become friends with everyone.
"He is? But anyway, I want you guys to go back inside soon. I have something to tell everyone."
"What is it?" Jellal was curious what he was gonna say.
"Just come back inside and you'll find out soon." Natsu said before waving at them to leave for the interior of the palace.
"Shall we go and find out what Natsu's going to say?" Jellal looked at Erza with the two drinks in his hand. He noticed she looked more pale than when he left her, but he thought the night breeze just made her feel colder while waiting for him.
"Can you go ahead first? I want to take in the evening air for a little bit more before I come in. Just save me a seat, please." Seeing that Erza was acting a bit strange after she was alone with Natsu, he immediately thought that something happened between them while he was gone. Knowing that it would be best to give her some space at times like these when she's upset, he acquiesced to her request.
"Sure, you can count on me. Just promise me you'll come in as soon as you can, alright?"
"You have my word." Erza said formally in a seemingly playful intonation. Before they parted, Jellal kissed Erza on the lips to make her feel better.
Once Jellal was gone, Erza continued to look out the night view, getting lost in her thoughts.
The reason why she didn't want Natsu to know she knew about him and Mira was because she feared something like this will happen. Since she clearly saw them dating, it was odd that they never announced their relationship yet. With her brilliant mind, she was able to deduce there must be a reason for it.
Then it came to her. Maybe they were keeping it a secret until someone finds out (Correct). But what is their purpose behind such discreet actions? She didn't concern herself with that since it wasn't important to her. What was relevant to her is keeping their relationship a secret. A part of her wanted to so that they wouldn't be official yet in the guild's eyes. She clung to her last hope of watching Natsu from afar without anyone questioning her why.
But now that Natsu was gonna announce their relationship to the world, Erza felt no need to worry herself over such matters anymore. In fact, nothing mattered to her at this moment. She blankly stared at the luminescent landscape in front of her, bringing her thoughts away with the wind.
…
Erza was lying down on her bed in Fairy Hills, holding a familiar picture frame she had on her bookshelf.
By the time she came to her senses again, the party was already over and Jellal came looking for her outside. He asked her why she didn't go in like she promised she would, and she apologized by saying that she simply lost track of time.
Since Jellal was quick to forgive her, he told her how Natsu announced his secret relationship with Mira that's been going on for a long time. He told her how they planned on telling everyone in a few months anyway (it's no longer a year because time passed by, duh). Apparently, they kept it a secret for the thrill of it. When there was an uproar because their guidmates didn't like them keeping secrets from each other, Natsu was quick to throw Gray under the bus and told them he knew about it as well. No one scolded him because it was his special night, so they kept their attention on the two culprits.
Erza didn't know if he forgot or if it was out of goodwill, but he didn't mention the fact that she knew as well.
When they were heading home, she caught a brief glimpse of Natsu and Mira smiling with their hands locked on each other and their fingers intertwined.
Once she got home to her room in Fairy Hills, she had a relaxing bath and got herself all cleaned up to sleep.
Now that she was just staring at the ceiling of her bedroom (still holding the picture frame), she was free to think whatever she wanted.
She wondered what her life would be like right now if she wasn't foolish enough to decline Natsu's proposal back then (not marriage, but love confession. Sorry, this word is a double-edged blade). Would she be happy right now? Would she instead think about Jellal?
What would her future be like with Jellal? They would probably be a perfect family with a well-raised child. They would be like any other normal family. They would spend time with each other normally. They would raise their child under strict but loving supervision to make sure he or she grows up healthy and strong. They would make sure their child goes to bed early, play in moderation so he or she wouldn't get hurt, act politely, and be a perfectly well-mannered person once he or she grows up.
Thinking back on all the times she was at the mercy of Natsu's presence, she concluded that she would've definitely been satisfied if Natsu was the one by her side.
She imagined how fun it would be if she had a family with Natsu. Things would certainly be different. Nothing was ever normal when it comes to Natsu.
Their children would probably grow up to be a couple of goofballs if their father was Natsu. 'Children?' She wondered what made her think of that in the plural tense.
Continuing her daydream, she could see herself scolding their children, who were on their knees, alongside their father. Thinking this made her laugh.
Knowing Natsu, he would probably beg her to let him play with their children, or even train them or teach them magic.
Their family would be full of laughs and smiles, something they can attribute to their father.
Knowing the simplistic mindset of Natsu, he would probably take less missions to be with his family more, even if it means having less money.
They would sleep with their children until they're old enough to be on their own.
Natsu would never question the curiosity and quirks of their children.
Most of all, he would sacrifice everything he had, including his dignity and pride, to protect them. He would never want them to feel any burden and would instead shoulder it all by himself.
He wouldn't stop loving them even if they hate him and push him away. He'll never give up.
By the time Erza knew it, she was crying again.
"Why am I such a crybaby tonight?" She choked out.
Sitting up from her spot on the bed and looking at the picture frame, she let her tears fall on it and touched it.
Now, she would finally have to accept the consequences of her actions and live knowing what could have been if it weren't for her stupidity back then (her words, not mine).
She was mistaken back when she thought she could never be with Jellal because they were the ones who were never meant to be.
I did the old switcheroo! Mwahahahaha! Get it? I mean, back then it was Natsu who felt this heartbroken and now it's Erza. Oh, how the tables have turned. Don't worry, while the next chapter will be mainly to progress the NaZa part of this story, I will also include a NaMi moment there.
Also some of the words I use sound like I took it straight from the dictionary, ain't it? I just can't find better words to put in some situations, so I'll study up on my vocabulary a little bit more.
After having the slowest first chapters, suddenly Erza just snapped. It's getting weirder and weirder, ~de gozaru. Anyway, the sudden jump of events is because behind the scenes, a lot of things have already happened. I just can't seem to write it in a way that integrates everything together, so I only write the most interesting parts I feel is important to the story.
By the way, the story's just beginning from this point forward since this is the prelude to the NaZa parts. I feel like the ending's still at the other end of the tunnel, but I don't exactly know how far it is.
Ack! Help me
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