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Chapter 210 - Reawakening

"Always remember this Little Ling," she said, kneeling down next to him and staring directly into his silvery eyes. "The harder the path, the greater the view when you reach the end. Now, most people who follow the path of Mysticism will select one or two simple words early in their journey. As you grow, your words will change. Greater words are more expansive and nuanced, they encompass more concepts and give you greater freedom but they are harder to master."

"Zhai Xing cultivated 'Death' and 'Misfortune' as her words," Hua Jue continued. "Death is a very complicated, very heavy word and it isn't one you should touch while you are still mortal if you do at all. However, because your true word is 'Duality', we will pair two words together to create your power and your path. The first of your two words is 'Deadly.' You understand the difference between being 'Deadly' and being 'Death'?"

"If I am deadly, I have the capacity to end life," Wu Ling answered readily, feeling that the first word was clear enough. "If I am 'Death', I am the end of life itself, the final destination of all living things and the beginning of whatever is beyond death… I can't begin to imagine everything that would connect to death itself," he finished honestly. As soon as he set his mind to it, he understood what Hua Jue meant by a word that represented something vast and difficult to comprehend in its entirety. 'Deadly' would be a much simpler place to begin.

"Very good," his master replied with a smile. "The second word I'm going to give you is 'Attraction.' Zhai Xing was also a master of seduction but you don't need to go so far unless you choose to. For your foundation, you will begin in territory familiar to the Artist that you are. Visual attraction, intellectual curiosity, all of these things that capture a person's attention and allow you to get close enough to them to be absolutely deadly. You understand the pairing?"

"I do," Wu Ling said, understanding the direction his master was leading him in. Still, one thing didn't make sense about the pairing. "How does this fit the notion of 'Duality?' When I think about myself and duality, I think about the two lives I lead as 'Brother Wu Ling' and now as 'Sister Hua Qianhu.' Male and female as opposites. How is 'Attraction' the opposite of 'Deadly'?"

"You know, I quite enjoy the name you selected for your 'sister self,'" Hua Jue said with a smile. "Perhaps, if you reach me while I still hold my crown, I'll adopt you as a daughter," she teased. "To answer your question, what is our natural reaction to things which are dangerous to us?"

"Ah," Wu Ling said, understanding the bridge between the two concepts. "We're naturally repelled by danger. To be attracted to danger is an opposite, contradictory response."

"Exactly so. Now, this is the beginning of your Soul Garden. What happens next will be uncomfortable because it will touch the deepest core of yourself," she cautioned. "But within this garden, you will nurture things that reflect the different aspects of your words. You may add beautiful and attractive sculptures if you like." 

"As a shapeshifter, it may be worthwhile to build a 'gallery' of sorts within your Soul Garden of forms that you find useful to you," she suggested. "You may also create a pond and fill it with deadly, voracious, or toxic fish. It's up to you how you expand this space."

"What I'm going to do now, is to plant the very first flower in your Soul Garden," she said, waving her hand and conjuring a single stalk of a plant. The plant was nearly a meter tall and covered for much of its length with pink and white trumpet-shaped blossoms. 

"This is Heart Seizing Foxglove. It's beautiful and at the same time, it's deadly," Hua Jue explained. "In the right hands, it can be medicine or poison. Its shape, towering as it is, is fairly masculine but the blossoms themselves are invitingly feminine. Its roots can burrow deep and strong while its petals are soft and delicate. To me, this is a very apt representation of the person that you are currently and the person that you wish to become. Do you agree, Disciple Wu?"

At the end, her tone became firmer and more formal. She had transitioned from being a teacher offering explanation to a master seeking consent from her disciple. If he accepted her interpretation of him and his desires, she would plant the Heart Seizing Foxglove in the deepest part of his soul where it would grow and shape his innermost self.

"Master, thank you. You always give me a chance to say 'no', even when we both know that you have arrived at the best answer to which I will say 'yes,'" he said, equally formally. "To me, Master has chosen the most perfect flower for my Soul Garden."

"Very well," Hua Jue said. "In that case, take your hands and scoop out a bit of soil for me. When you're ready, I'll plant the flower."

It sounded like the most natural thing to do. Just reach out with his hands and scoop up soil. When Wu Ling reached out to do so, however, he found that his fingers were clumsy and the soil was firm and hard-packed.

For a moment, he almost opened his mouth to ask how he was supposed to do this, but if his master intended to give him step-by-step instructions, she would have. She was already guiding him through much of the process but she couldn't do all of it for him. If she did, he would never be able to advance on his own.

Gently, he reached out, placing his hands on the hard, dry soil of his garden. It wasn't just soil, it was him. It was everything he had been through, everywhere he had been, everything he knew. All of it was packed down by everything he'd ever told himself about who he was, and everything he'd internalized about what other people thought he was.

Now, he needed to change that. He needed to open himself up to redefining himself. He wasn't Wu Ling the Artist, Wu Ling the orphaned son of Yun Kong, Wu Ling the cast out of the Shining Blade Hall, or Wu Ling the Disciple of the Bamboo Silk House. Those were all things that he had been and would always be a piece of him but those things didn't define him.

He was Wu Ling and Hua Qianhu. Not one or the other, but both. In either form, he was attractive and deadly. Slowly, the earth under his hands became softer as he pulled away the labels that had never quite fit and made space for the ones he'd chosen to embody. The process wasn't fast, and each layer of soil he scooped away brought with it memories that were both joyful and painful.

Slowly, tears began to fall as he recalled the moments that had left deep scars that defined him to this day. The death of his father, being twice exiled from the powerful sects of his parents. All of those moments gave rise to a rain of teardrops that moistened the soil. Those moments, however, weren't the only ones that defined him.

Tears continued to flow as he relived his reunion with Su Xiang and the night they swore an oath as siblings that bound them together for the rest of their lives. The look of pride on his mother's face when he managed to Awaken by being true to himself as an Artist instead of trying to follow his father's Martial path. The tender days spent with Yao Meifeng in gardens playing music together and the dinner they'd shared on his last night in Silver Sword City.

The joy and the sorrow were both a part of him and without both, he would never change and never grow. When he accepted that, he completed his work and turned to Hua Jue to plant the Heart Seizing Foxglove in the space he'd prepared for it.

"Well done, Little Ling," she said, gently lowering the plant into the soil. Once she did, she placed her hands atop his and helped him settle the damp soil around the vibrant flower.

"Now, rest while it takes root. When you wake, I'll help you take the next steps and correct some of the places where your art has gone astray as well," she said. "For now, just rest."

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