Eid el fitr was a celebration Edegbe decided to attend. It was not a party, more like a fair organized by the wealthy Muslims who wanted to celebrate the end of Ramadan in a grand style. He had decided to attend because he needed the noise, it was as if Unguwan Rimi became quiet during their thirty days fast. Efe was pleased with his decision to go out and Edegbe hoped he wouldn't come out dressed in a formal outfit.
He did dress in a suit and Edegbe groaned. "Sometimes I feel like you love everyone referring to you as my bouncer."
"Being a bouncer is better than the work I do for you, I wouldn't have to put up with your nonsense and I'll feel free to beat you when you anger me."
"Please, change into something causal, you look too handsome in that suit."
"Right?" He wore a smug grin. "Do you think I should put on a tie? It'll make me look more handsome."
"What's the need for a handsome face when discard the numbers of your admirers?"
Efe paused fumbling his collar. "Don't run salt on my wound. Moreover, she's taken."
"She is? Did she tell you she has a boyfriend?"
He shook his head. "But I saw it. You'll see it yourself if you're observant," then he smiled a knowing smile. "Or you're too busy ogling at a woman."
"Sah." Victor knocked on the door, interrupting whatever come back Edegbe had. "We should start leaving before the party finishes."
"I can hear the excitement in his voice," Efe said.
"We could just tell him we'll not be going again."
"Do you know what that is called? Attempted murder. But aren't you going to wear something thicker, something that shows the money you have?"
"Something thicker in this northern sun? I wonder how you're not baking in that, it's long sleeved and it's black, and black traps a lot of heat. And I don't want anybody to know how much money I have."
"Maybe because you don't have a lot." They laughed and stepped out. Victor was also dressed in a suit, tapping his feet impatiently as he waited for them.
"Oh my God! Aren't you taking this far too serious?"
"Sah, you should dress up too, you don't know who and who will be coming there. Imagine that the Governor decides to come, you will miss out because he'll be looking at me and Sah Efe."
"I think he has a valid point," Efe agreed.
"That the Governor of Kaduna would leave this seat and decide to come to one very tiny county fair that is not even officially announced. The President might also decide to come too." Edegbe laughed. "Let's go.".
Efe glanced at his clothes one more time. "Are you sure you're not going to wear something thicker?"
"What's your problem with my choice of clothing today?"
"I dost know not, albeit I know thy liberty would hence be better if thou art in a thicker apparel."
"And I promise you, I won't attend this fair if you keep up with that."
"You're the only intelligent man I know who doesn't like Shakespeare."
"How many intelligent men do you know?"
"I said you're the only intelligent man I know."
And so, that afternoon began on a bedrock of humour and the fair accepted the levity with open arms. The atmosphere was lively, the people a happier version of what Edegbe knew they to be, were scattered around, bustling with excitement. There were so many stores, some many women selling Awara, some men sold Kulikuli, some standing behind a barbecue of suya while the others hawked kilishi. Edegbe bought some of everything, first, because they were cheaper and second, because he was in a good mood.
"Fine man," one elderly Muslim woman gestured him to a stop, two tribal marks flatly laid on each side of her cheek and wrinkles marred her face. "Buy. Me. For children."
He did not understand the broken English at first. "Oh no, I don't have children."
"Wipe, buy, wipe."
"I don't have a wife either."
"You buy, one buy."
"What is she saying?"
The woman broke into a fluent Fulani for while, then tried again. "One buy. You, you." She pointed at him.
"Do you understand what she's saying?"He asked Efe.
"Just buy from her."
"But I need to understand what she's telling me," he argued. "Victor, don't you speak his language?"
"I can speak a little of Hausa, she's speaking Fulani."
"How can a state have more than one language?"
"You talk as if we don't have more than three in Edo."
"I know we do but it doesn't make any sense. A geographical location is supposed to be identified based on the language. Like the Igbo for instance, we know them because they speak one language."
"They don't o," Efe beat Victor to the argument. "Anambra has its own nuances."
"And Ebonyi has a different Igbo. Then there's an Igbo a part of Rivers state speak and one a part of Deltans speak," Victor added.
"Can you imagine that? One state, different languages. I can imagine how many languages Nigeria has."
"Can you just buy from this woman," Efe begged.
"But I don't understand what she's saying. I refuse to give her my hard earned money until I understand what she's saying."
Even Victor shook his head.
"You're so dramatic." Efe took out his wallet and bought what the woman was selling. They moved from the stall and window-shopped on the next. When a Muslim man selling kaftans hanging from his shoulder and hand came into view, Edegbe smiled. "Now, that is what I want to buy."
"A kaftan?"
"It's unisex and I don't have a unisex clothing."
"Man," Efe waved at the seller. "How much do you sell these?"
"Two thousand."
"Hei," Victor screamed. "Cheater. Sah, on a normal day this thing costs one thousand and things are supposed to be cheap here." Then he turned to the seller. "Five hundred."
"No. Before, one thousand. Now, two thousand. You no buy, go." The seller turned to leave.
"Wait," Efe called him back. "Give us one thousand, five hundred. We're buying three, discount," Efe told the seller to which he thought for a while, then agreed.
"We're buying three?" Edegbe asked.
"For the three of us. The Muslims are going to start Salah tomorrow, this is the time for giving. Give us three."
They got the kaftans and moved from there to where some men played local songs on sound speakers and some children danced, competing for a price. Edegbe nodded to the beat and moved his body along when they did a move he was familiar with. Then he would laugh at a failed attempt at a hard step and clapped until the next group entered. The next group were girls and there was a striking difference in the change of gender and Edegbe wondered if the men who were ogling with erotic thoughts in their heads knew that they were little girls whose innocence were their only fault in the world.
They took a rest when Edegbe complained about the heat and said he was tired.
"I was hoping to see our neighbors here," Efe said.
"The neighbors or Soliat?"
"I said she's taken. I was hoping to see Mrs Yasmin."
"What? Do you like her too?" Edegbe asked.
"Too?" He stressed on the word. "She likes me?"
"She always talks about how handsome you are so I assumed she did. But she said she never did."
"And I assume she likes you."
"Why would Yasmin ever like me, especially with the way she attacks me?"
"You are now calling her by her name?" He threw him a suspicious look.
"We agreed to be informal with each other the last time they visited."
"No wonder she looked so edgy."
"Can I tell you something?" He looked at Victor and the man immediately turned his face away. "I think she's seducing me," he told in a whispered tone.
Efe nearly laughed. "How so?"
"She's always too close, even when she's far away, it seems like she's close and her scent is—" choky? Unforgettable? And she always looked at him like she expected him to do something and each time he felt like he came short of her expectation, he hated it, he wanted her to tell him what she wanted. And he didn't want to tell Efe this. He looked at the man who was still waiting and concluded. "She's just seducing me. Do I have to tell you the details? Do I?"
"Jesus," Efe laughed. "No, you don't have to. But have you seen her ever since?"
"Do I go out of my way to make sure I see her? I just can't wait for our time here to finish so we can head back home. By the way, how's the farm?"
"Seriously, Sir, I think this is the best time to stop this madness and go back. We've not even started and a pile of losses is behind us. Do you know how much a bag of rice cost now?" Eight two thousand—"
"But it was fifty just a few months back."
"Exactly my point, this thing keeps increasing every day. You think you can still go through all these trouble and sell a bag for ten thousand at the end of the day? What does your inner self tells you?"
"Don't I pay you?" He said, defensive as he always was when the issue was brought up. "Do you pay for the losses?"
"I just don't want you to waste money."
"It's my money."
"Alright." He raised his hands up. "You win. But does it make any sense that none of the neighbors are here especially since this fair is for the elite?"
"I think they're having their own celebration and—"
A noise disrupted him and he turned to the source when a few people had gathered. Two men stood in the middle, and that they were having an argument was evident in the way their faces were hardened, and their speech was hurried and the slight swinging of their hands.
"They are going to fight," Victor said, watching too.
"But this is a fair."
"Sah, these people are very violent o."
"But you said they have a sense of brotherhood."
"Only when they are faced with strangers, amongst themselves they can be very violent and it's not the type that ends with 'it's okay, it's okay', their own kind brings blood. Like in Sabon Tasha, just very small annoyance and you'll see them bringing knives and guns you didn't even know they had."
The argument was getting fierce and their voices were getting raised. Out of the blue, one man raised his hand and punched the other. He stumbled to a shade and picked up a wooden chair and smashed it on the head of his opponent. People began to move, the once peaceful and jubilant fair turned into a tumultuous sight.
"Let's get out of this place." Efe grabbed his friend and brought him to his feet. Edegbe could hear the whoosh of running people, the breaths of scared people, crying children who had been separated from their mothers. One sat on the floor an arm's length away from him and because he feared that she would be stumbled upon, he flung Efe's hand away and went to the child. He never made it because a piercing pain shot through his stomach and he fell before hearing the sounds of firing gun.