Three days had passed since that abominable "thing" came. I fear he's fucking indestructible. During these loathsome days Rham tested Phil's limits with various tactics.
Visible to him the futility of all.
First, he took him to the pig pen, the stinkiest place he knew. His only reply? "I experienced worse" then I took him into the muddy ricefields even if his feet were buried knee deep his only eager comment is "this feels nice" or in the third day when they went fishin' that bloke dipped his hands on a can wriggling of worms unfazed. Is he even human? Curse you cyborg being wearing his skin!
Phil adapted quick, maybe too quick to his liking. Not minding the maddening heat. He washed the pigs along side with Phil. They fed the animals together, they cleaned the whole place together, forging an uncomfortable camaraderie in the midst of hardships.
He's... like a gum!
He woke up, ate, slept with Phil as if he's part of himself. The two formed a hivemind of sorts.
But Rham won't give up easily,
Surely this guy has some weakness. Observation doesn't work, trial and error also became a fruitless endeavor. Guess I should ask him directly.
After shoveling few cow dung Rham dusted his overalls and took his gloves off,
The fearsome Boar strolled to the joyful Panda, trying to be as casual as he can in his approach. Hands in his pockets of course for extra coolness.
Phil curiously eyed Rham, "oh first time ye went to me first" does he really? Wait I'm getting side tracked. "What's your weakness" he asked as blunt as humanly possible.
Phil blinked before kindly replying with his signature hearty giggles.
"Are you an idiot?" Said phil, "Of course I have lots of weakness, I'm a human too remember? "
"Anatomically my organs, my thigh because it could bleed me to death, my eyeball..." Phil went on and on.
"Forget I asked" Rham scratched his forehead and returned to his dung shoveling.
Phil whispered to himself, faint enough to be dismissed as a gust of wind. "my Achille's heels prolly are girls."
"You said something?"
"None sir president of dungville."
_*_*_*_
"Mr. Emman, please to drive me the usual place" a girl smothered in makeup softly ordered.
'My name is Nere Theresa C. Cordoba. The sole daughter of the town mayor Augustin Pelle Cordoba. And I have this one troubling issue...'
'Im so lonely! I want to experience love, romance, cuddling and many more!
But this town were only filled with old geezers if not common chumps. I am too perfect to live in such a place. Yet papa is a big idiot won't let me move to the cities!'
The towering skyscrapers, endless shopping malls and best of all. Aesthetically pleasing hunks! There's the cold serious ones, the muscular and fiery ones, or. Or... a badboy gentleman prince charming with a hidden soft side!
Clearly, Theresa has been reading a lot of those unrealistic romance novels. She's too deep in the rabbit hole, there's no salvation for those drowning in a sea of delusions and she'll surely bring the tide right at Rham's doorsteps.
Theresa and Rham barely counts as childhood friends. Rham treats her like an infernal pest while Theresa counts him as the ugly yet entertaining dude, or worse a servant.
Whenever she's upset she would burst forth like storm into the Casa De Cordoba, oh a real storm she is.
Rham would rather bash his skull againts the wall repeatedly. But given she's the mayor's daughter he's putting up with it. As the green gates of the Casa de Cordoba came to view. Theresa ordered Mr. Emman to park the cark nearby. As graceful as a butterfly the lady emerged from the civic with her velvet sundress, a color which hurts Rham's eyes the most. The blood storm tiptoed through a path of pebbles and rocks.
After swiveling her head around she gave up trying to find porky on her own, relying at a kind farmer which she's vaguely familiar with about the porky's whereabouts, "the chicken coop, got it thanks"
"Your welcome madam" the kind farmer replied.
That porky, he's with his silly little chickens.
There she saw his towering stature.
Wait, wasn't that rham? Sheesh, his silhouette is too noticeable. Theresa waved " oi! Boar! Porky! Fatso!" Theresa called out.
Rhams ears twitched, that high pitched demonic screech. Out of all the days available that brat really chose this exact time to visit.
His panicked eyes fell on Phil.
This guy alone is already a pain in the arse, if that brat and em joined forces...
I might as well end it here and now. Phil were surrounded by a platoon of chick's, I reckon they think his head is their nest or something,
Rham acted quick.
"Why don't ye take a break for today and ill handle all" said Rham with a petrified smile as he pushed Phil inside back to the manor.
"No no I can manage plus I enjoy it!" Even with his bulged eyes along with his gritted teeth Rham barely smiled. "I insist"
Phil stopped... perhaps deliberating about his suspicious actions, thank the heavens he relented.
Tap tap tap... those shy little steps. Rham feigned to not notice Theresa, squatting in place with a bunch of chicks. "Oi you burnt pig" Rham is a statue. Never giving a damn about the sheltered brat burning holes at his back.
"Oi can't ye hear me? Your goddest graced you with her presence yet you kept ignoring me?"
"..."
Yes, after 3 grueling years of suffering Rham learned that the best shield againts her insults is mere silence,
"Goddest of shorties don't you mean" Rham grumbled.
"You! What did you sa-!"
"Rhammy! Auntie called for you! You gotta do an errand and I'll join ye to-" Phil's enthusiasm slowly faded as the two sized up each other.
Fuck... the worse case scenario came true. Might as well kill myself.