Zeus crossed his arms, still glaring at Gazei. "So let me get this straight. Lady Rin and yourself died, met some god, then Lady Rin whupped said god's ass in a bunch of games, basically became a temp goddess, and created a whole bloody world..." Zeus paused, rubbing his scarred face in disbelief. "And finally, you don't remember a damn thing before all this happened. Is that about right?"
Gazei scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact. "Yeah, that sums it up."
"Why the hell did you let that happen to me, man?!" Zeus shouted, waving his little arms in frustration. "I'm a bloody Pichu now! Look at me!"
"Don't blame me! Blame Rin," Gazei quickly shot back, throwing his hands up in defense.
"Fuck that!" Zeus yelled, his tiny fists shaking with rage. "The last time I blamed Lady Rin, she devised that bloody digi-harem plan! I was comatose for six months after that, mate!"
He shuddered, clearly still traumatized. "Never again. I ain't riskin' my circuits like that!"
Gazei rolled his eyes. "You're lucky you just ended up comatose, you little bastard," he muttered.
Zeus shot him a look, but Gazei wasn't finished. "Me? I wasn't so lucky. Two full months... nonstop..." He trailed off, his face darkening at the memory.
"Two months of what?" Zeus asked, curiosity and dread mixing in his voice.
Gazei shuddered. "The harem plans. Every. Damn. Day."
Zeus blinked, wide-eyed. "Mate... I... I don't even know what to say to that."
Gazei resisted punching the sarcastic rodent.
"What the happened to my wings?!" Charmander demanded, sounding outraged, his voice quick and sharp. His flame blazed brightly as he stomped around in frustration. "I had 'em before! Where are they now?"
"Sweet heavens, what's goin' on?!" Onix shrieked in her Southern accent, her massive body trembling as she coiled up in confusion. "I ain't feelin' right, darlin'. Why do I look like this?!"
"What in tarnation happened to me?" Rhyhorn blurted out, her Southern drawl full of panic. "Why am I all shiny? And where are we? This ain't right, sugar!"
Tyrunt's eyes were wide as he looked down at himself. "My stars, this ain't how I remember myself. What's happened to us?!" His usually calm and collected voice was now shaky and filled with worry. "We're not supposed to look like this!"
Dratini, usually composed, was now slithering back and forth in distress. "Great gods above, what trials have we been thrown into?!" he exclaimed, his voice full of confusion. "This is madness! How have we been transformed like this?"
Zeus stood off to the side, raising an eyebrow. "Well, they're all losin' it..." he muttered, unimpressed.
Gazei sighed again, massaging his temples. "Yeah, they're definitely not handling this well."
"It's all Rin's fault," Gazei muttered, his voice flat as he tried to process the chaos around him. "New world. I have no idea where we are. I'm just going to release the others so I don't have to explain anything."
With a resigned sigh, he reached for more Pokéballs, ready to release the rest of his team—the Dragon Crew, his trusted squad from the ROM hack. They were powerful and loyal and had been through countless battles with him, but Gazei wasn't sure how they'd react to all this madness.
With a resigned sigh, he reached for more Pokéballs, ready to release the rest of his team—the Dragon Crew, his trusted squad from the ROM hack. They were powerful and loyal and had been through countless battles with him, but Gazei wasn't sure how they'd react to all this madness.
Zeus blinked up at him, shaking his head. "You're really just gonna dump this on 'em, huh?"
Gazei shrugged. "Better than repeating myself. They'll get it eventually."
"It was my wife," Gazei said flatly.
The area went completely silent. Not out of shock—no, they all knew exactly who Rin was—but more out of a collective, Oh, of course, moment. The Pokémon exchanged knowing glances, each one processing the revelation in their own way. This kind of chaos? It had Rin's fingerprints all over it.
Fuse, the hot-headed Charmander, stomped forward, his flame flickering wildly. "Mate, ya didn't need to say anything! As soon as the world started goin' tits up, I knew it was Rin. She's a bloody legend for this sorta thing!" His voice was full of energy, already accepting the madness.
Dratini, or Nathan as he preferred to be called, sighed in his calm, almost philosophical tone. "Chaos seems to follow her, like a river winding its way through time." He looked up at Gazei with a serene expression. "But as always, we adapt. Like we have a choice in the matter..."
Tyrunt, or Kenpachi, let out a loud, booming laugh. "HA! I was wonderin' when she'd stir things up again. Looks like we're in for another fight, boys. This'll be fun!" His eyes gleamed with anticipation, already itching for a challenge.
Onix, known as Kronix, coiled up calmly, her Southern drawl as steady as ever. "Well, sugar, we've been through crazier. If Rin's behind it, I reckon we're in for a wild ride. But that's just another day for us, ain't it?"
Rhyhorn, or Temple, nodded in agreement, her voice soft but firm. "Yup. Can't say we didn't see this comin'. She always has a way of spinnin' the world upside down, but we're used to it."
Zeus, watching the whole scene, just rolled his eyes. "Told ya, didn't I? It's always Rin. Every. Single. Time." He muttered, shaking his head.
Gazei sighed, feeling the weight of their acceptance settle around him. "You all took that way better than I did," he admitted.
Fuse grinned, flames sparking. "Mate, we've seen worse. Now, what's the plan? You know, aside from tryin' to survive whatever twisted world she's dropped us into this time?"
[....]
As Gazei and his crew wandered through the unfamiliar terrain, time seemed to drag on endlessly.
Two fucking weeks.
In the world of Pokémon, travel wasn't easy—especially without a proper sense of direction. And the terrain they were trudging through felt like it stretched on forever.
"Remind me again how the fuck my wife can disable your navigation functions, Computer!" Gazei hissed, his patience worn thin after asking the same question for what felt like the thousandth time today.
"Oi, pipe down, ya daft sod! Let me speak in twit: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, Bloke!" Computer snapped back, equally pissed off. His robotic voice had lost any pretense of calm, and he barked at Gazei with all the exasperation he could muster. "Don't get yer knickers in a twist, pal!" Computer snapped. "Look, if I knew, I'd be sortin' it, wouldn't I? But your missus's got fingers in all the pies, don't she? I bet me digital bolts it's that crafty Roll or sneaky Cortana muckin' about behind the scenes. Proper nuisances, those two!"
Gazei rubbed his temples, barely resisting the urge to fling the watch into the nearest tree. "You're supposed to be the smartest AI ever created, and you can't figure out how she blocked you?"
Gazei took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. "You're saying there's nothing you can do?"
"Mate, I'm the dog's bollocks at everythin' else, but when it comes to undoing whatever witchcraft she's pulled? It's like askin' a kettle to brew you tea without water! Ain't happenin', bruv!" Computer ranted his digital face on the watch flickering as if it were fuming.
As Gazei and his crew wandered through the unfamiliar terrain, he wasn't just grappling with being lost—he was also learning some unexpected truths about his Pokémon. Despite whatever King Gene or Computer had claimed, his Pokémon weren't exactly the powerhouse teams he imagined them to be.
For starters, not only was The Dragon Crew here, but all his other specialized squads had also made the jump to this strange new world. Gazei had built these teams with a purpose, each with a specific role to play:
The Dragon Crew: The main battle team. These were Gazei's heavy hitters, who specialized in offensive tactics and brute strength. They were meant to dominate the battlefield with overwhelming force. Full of Dragon, Dragon-Like, and Dragon-ese Pokemon. Ryhorn and the Nido line are dragons and Gazei will die on that hill.
The ARP (Advanced Rest and Peace): The medical and recovery team. They were skilled in healing, providing critical care, and maintaining the well-being of the entire group, whether through support moves or battlefield triage.
Notorious: The hunting and foraging specialists. Experts at tracking, capturing, and gathering essential supplies. They ensured that the group had the resources needed to survive, from food to rare materials.
Black Watch: The lookout and reconnaissance unit. They were responsible for keeping watch, conducting surveillance, and scouting the terrain ahead to avoid ambushes and surprises.
Chef of Toriko: The culinary squad. Tasked with finding, preparing, and managing food supplies, they were supposed to keep everyone well-fed and energized.
K9: The canine-themed unit. These were the trackers and guards, relying on their instincts and heightened senses to provide security and patrol duties.
The Blitzers: The fast-response team. They specialized in rapid infiltration, quick rescues, and high-speed maneuvers when the situation called for swift action.
Fade: The stealth and ambush squad. They were the covert operatives, trained in silent takedowns and quick strikes to handle threats without drawing attention.
Gang of Genki Doma: The environmental control team. They could manipulate weather conditions and influence the battlefield by creating storms, altering the climate, or using terrain to their advantage.
The Archivists: The strategists and knowledge-keepers. They held all the tactical information, battle plans, and maps, ensuring the team had the necessary guidance and strategy.
Despite their specialized roles and extensive knowledge, there was a glaring problem—they were struggling with their moves. They were genetically perfect and still retained all their tactical understanding, but using their moves felt foreign to them. It was like their bodies were new instruments they hadn't quite learned to play yet. Gazei watched in disbelief as his elite teams fumbled through even the most basic maneuvers, from Tackle to Flamethrower.
"Ok, we're lost, weak, and can only fight with our hands for now," Gazei muttered, frustration evident in his voice. And somehow, Rin managed to put weighted equipment on us without us knowing… Better not even question that. He took a deep breath. "So, all in all, I need a progress report. Now."
Gazei wasn't exactly feeling hopeful. Only The Archivists and Chef of Toriko were available right now; the rest of the squads were off training their tails off, trying to regain their former prowess. At least they're pushing themselves like hell, Gazei thought. If nothing else, they've got that Saiyan-level drive.
An Abra from The Archivists floated forward, cracking its knuckles in an oddly aggressive manner. Its eyes narrowed, and its voice boomed like a pro wrestler hyping up the crowd. "LISTEN UP, BOSS!" Abra shouted telepathically, flexing its tiny arms as if it had biceps to show off. "I CAN SEE THE FUTURE... I MEAN I USED TO SEE THE FUTU—"
Gazei watched as the Abra promptly fell asleep right in the middle of its grand declaration. Even its snores were loud and somehow defiant. An Eevee (Ama)—who clearly had seen this happen before—stepped up to fill in.
"Boss! What Mystogun is trying to say is that everyone is going to be fine!" Ama said confidently. Then, lowering its voice and looking a bit sheepish, it continued, "Now if you excuse me, Boss, we must train! I miss my... well, my GREEN FUR..." It seemed to hesitate, then added with an awkward cough, "Is a shiny Espeon sexy or no? I will not be pleased if I can't find a long one to get down my throat!"
Gazei just stared blankly, deciding it was better not to ask any questions. "And food supplies?" he asked, turning to a member of Chef of Toriko. A Miltank in an apron and chef's hat, whom Gazei knew as Mulan, stepped up proudly, carrying a clipboard with odd little utensils strapped to its side.
Mulan, speaking in a strong French accent, said, "Ah, monsieur, Lady Rin supplied us with food clearly not from this world, and it has been an absolute delight to cook with, Boss man. Several members of ze team—such as ze Bounsweet triplets and Swirlix—'ave even captured ze basic ingredients!"
Gazei raised an eyebrow. "Captured?" he echoed, feeling a sense of dread.
"Oui!" Mulan replied with pride, pointing dramatically at a massive creature—a giant unicorn-like horse with a brown coat and bat-like wings. It was hard to believe he hadn't noticed something that big until now.
"What… the hell is that?" Gazei muttered in shock.
"I 'ave no idea, monsieur!" Mulan admitted cheerfully, as if this was an everyday occurrence. "But zat creature provided meat zat is... well, not edible, I'm afraid. However, its wooden armor is made of a material magnifique! Perfect for sushi boards, non? Most of ze body is covered in a tough, flexible wood like bamboo, which grants it great defense but does not impede its movement! It was surprisingly agile. Kenpachi was a great help in killing it. Though Carla was not pleased to fix broken bones."
"Uh-huh…" Gazei blinked, feeling like he'd been inside his own head for way too long. "And the training?" he asked, not really caring but needing to hear it anyway. I've been dealing with Rin and her bullshit for over a century. Why should this phase me now? He thought, feeling oddly detached from it all.
Abra, still floating and somehow still asleep, grinned fiercely as it continued in its booming wrestler voice. "OH YEAH! THE CREW IS PUTTING IN THE WORK!" it bellowed, still snoring between sentences. "THE DRAGON CREW BOYS ARE OUT THERE BUSTIN' THEIR TAILS WITH LADY RIN'S WEIGHTED GEAR UNDER ROSHI'S GRAVITY ROUTINE—OH YEAH! COMPUTER'S GOT 'EM SPARRIN', RUNNIN' DRILLS, AND PUSHING THEMSELVES LIKE THEY'RE GOIN' FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!"
"Bitchin'!" Gazei grinned now, he needed to figure out where the hell he was and what his next step should be. If I'm in Kanto, that means Viridian should be the first stop. Maybe I can get my hands on some cash…
Then, his thoughts took a sudden, unexpected detour. Wait, if this is like the manga, the women there are... He felt an almost instinctive urge to pursue a new goal. Focus, fool. Don't get distracted.
He has another world problem that needs to be dealt with. Glancing at his empty inventory sheet, he saw the depressing reality spelled out:
Name: Gazei
Age: 18
Town: Village of Dragons
Trainer Class: Rookie Trainer, Rookie Coordinator, Rookie Ranger, Rookie Dragon Trainer
Badges: None
Ribbons: None
Carry Limit: 1 Pokémon
Trainer ID Number: 597142
Pokémon Owned: Too Many
₱ - 0
He stared at the big zero next to the currency sign with a sinking feeling. No bag, no money, no key items, he thought bitterly. Great job, Rin. I don't care if broke guys who demand money from their wives are your latest kink—having no money sucks!
Gazei sighed heavily, knowing full well that he'd need to find a way to get back on his feet. His priority was figuring out where he was, securing cash, and possibly locating a Pokémon Center. Please let it be like the manga, he thought with a glimmer of hope, they had the hottest nurses ever...