"I'm not embarrassed; I have no reason to be," Kenneth protested, narrowing her eyes at him.
Lucien raised an eyebrow, skepticism clear on his face. "You're not?"
"Nope." She replied flatly.
"Your face says otherwise."
Kenneth squinted at him, fighting the urge to smack the smug look off his face. She managed to hold back; she couldn't afford to get into trouble during her first weeks at the Academy.
"Do you mind letting go of my hand now?" she asked.
Lucien glanced down, surprised to find he was still holding her hand. He quickly released it, clearing his throat and looking away.
"So, why are you reading about the global war that happened over a century ago?" he asked, trying to shift the conversation.
Kenneth flinched, which didn't go unnoticed by the Captain. She had thought she hid the cover well, but clearly, his keen reflexes had caught the title. His question did however confirm one of her theories about Eternis and Caüs. Just as Lucien was about to probe further, a soft voice interrupted him.
"Lucien? Is that you?" The two turned to see Sage, her eyes wide with surprise.
With his back turned to Kenneth, Sage's smile broadened. "It really is you! It's rare to see you at the library at this time."
Sage's long, bubblegum-pink hair was tied in a high ponytail, highlighting her delicate features. She looked at Lucien with a doe-eyed expression, clearly thrilled to see him, though he didn't seem to share her enthusiasm.
"Miss Kingsley. Nice to see you." Lucien's polite tone was curt, revealing no desire to engage further.
Sage, however, seemed oblivious to his disinterest, chatting animatedly while he responded with short, vague replies.
Is this girl dense? It's obvious he doesn't want to talk to you—why can't you take a hint? Kenneth thought as she observe the two.
Lucien finally interjected, unable to bear her incessant questions any longer, informing Sage that he was busy, gesturing to his work. Only then did Sage notice Kenneth, her smile faltering.
"O-Oh, I see. And does your work involve Kenneth?" she asked, eyeing her with clear annoyance.
"As a matter of fact, it does," Lucien replied, surprising both women.
What is he saying?
Kenneth's shock was evident. "What could you possibly have to do with a first year?" Sage asked in bewilderment.
Lucien let out a barely audible sigh, which Kenneth caught.
"We're discussing the schedule for the upcoming tournament," he stated simply.
"The tournament? As in the Isosceles Trials? Kenneth made the cut?!" Sage exclaimed, her eyes wide.
"Yes, she did, but I don't see how that's any of your business."
Sage's left eye twitched as she glanced at Kenneth, who had been quietly observing with a bored expression.
"I see. Congratulations, Kenneth, what an incredible achievement," Sage said, forcing a smile.
"Thank you." She replied flatly.
"Well, I won't take up any more of your time then." As she prepared to leave, she added, "Oh, and Kenneth? You're lucky to have such a talented man like Lucien as an advisor. I hope you heed my fiancée's advice well."
Lucien's nostrils flared at her words, his earlier calm demeanor turning icy.
Kenneth felt her heart drop at that revelation, her gaze darting to Lucien.
"Fiancée?"
Kenneth stared at Lucien, her mind racing.
The word hung in the air, heavy and disorienting. Lucien's expression was a mix of annoyance and something she couldn't quite decipher. He cleared his throat, avoiding her burning gaze. For the first time since he'd arrived, the man was at a loss for words.
*
Lucien looked at Kenneth's expressionless face and wondered if he was seeing things because looking into her eyes, although it was feint, he saw hurt and disappointment in her fire coloured orbs.
Lucien hated more than anything to be involved in complicated affairs and he could feel his patience waning after the debacle that was Sage Kingsley. He sighed as he ran his finger through his hair while Kenneth sat there patiently waiting for his answer.
It wasn't like he owed her an explanation. The two barely knew each other and didn't have any other relationship besides that of classmates. Though he knew he didn't have to explain himself, he oddly felt compelled to do so.
"Not technically." He said.
"What does that mean?" Kenneth asked, even more confused than before.
"It was an agreement our parents made when we were young but it isn't valid anymore."
"So why did she refer to you as her fiancée then?"
"I don't know. Sage has always taken a liking to me since we were young and she believes that the offer is still valid though I have told her repeatedly that isn't the case."
Kenneth's heart sank further. The thought of Lucien being engaged—especially to someone like Sage—felt like a blow. She had barely gotten to know him, yet the idea of him being with someone else stung more than she expected. "I see. And are your parents aware of this?"
Lucien met her eyes, and for a moment, she thought she saw something in them—frustration, perhaps? "It's complicated," he said, his voice low. "I've let my parents know but they still hope that the marriage will take place." He said as a dark look took over his face.
The air around them turned sour as the two sat there in silence once again. The tension was high and Kenneth could feel her heart clenching in her chest as the words Sage said rang in her head once again. She didn't know why but the thought of Lucien being engaged to Sage rubbed her the wrong way. There was high level of irritation bubbling inside of her and she had the sudden urge to strike something.
Trying her best to suppress the urge, Kenneth said to lighten the mood, "Why not marry her then? Sage seems like a great person, I'm sure she'll treat you well." She let out a forced laugh.
Lucien turned to look at her and the look on his face made Kenneth flinch.
His amber eyes seemed to be glowing and the aura around him grew heavier.
Panicked, Kenneth immediately took back her joke realizing she had probably crossed the line.
"It was a just a joke man, relax!"
Lucien seemed to calm down after this as he eyed her sternly. "A bit in poor taste don't you think?"
"Yes I apologize."
Kenneth felt both relieved and dejected as she watched Lucien pull out his tablet and get to work. She felt an array of emotions she so desperately wanted to bury. Her heart stumbled as she tried to put together the pieces of information she had been subjected to. The man she had complicated feelings for and took over a part of her thoughts was caught in a complicated web with the ambiguity of his relationship with Sage still up in the air.
A curious relief washed over her, like a sudden gust of wind clearing away oppressive heat. She didn't know what to do with this sudden revelation. Irritation flickered in the shadows of her heart. It was a frustration not just with him for complicating her emotions, but with herself for letting these feelings sneak their way into her heart. She grappled with the irony of her situation—finding herself both relieved and irked by the fact that the first man she had ever had even remotely romantic feelings for was in fact engaged to someone else.
Of course this would happen to me. She scoffed at herself.
Not being able to take the embarrassment any longer, Kenneth quickly gathered the books as she prepared to leave. Lucien looked up upon hearing the commotion, a questioning expression on his face.
"I said it was fine for you to stay." He said.
Kenneth who couldn't bring herself to look at him steeled her face as she got up from her seat. "It was a pleasure talking to you Captain but I have another engagement so I have to go."
He paused for second before saying: "I see. Well be on the lookout for the upcoming schedule regarding the tournament."
"I will. Well then," She then made her exit but not before looking back at him one last time.
During that last moment, Kenneth had decided she wouldn't do anything to further fuel these feelings she had. Nothing would come out of this situation even if she did. She had important matters to worry about and she wasn't going to waste this second chance she had been given on something that couldn't happen. She had gone her whole life without being in a relationship, so she could go another lifetime being alone in this one too.
Love was a useless emotion to a soldier anyway.