Beijing, Houhai
It's early summer, with willows swaying along the lakeshore, the sun shining warmly, and tourists everywhere.
Murong Feng walked aimlessly along the shore of Shichahai, not knowing where he was going. His mind was blank as he had dashed out of a bar where he could no longer stand to stay for another second, leaving her and his heart behind.
Yes, although it's common for modern couples to break up, Murong Feng never imagined how he would face it when the person he loved dearly told him calmly, "Let's break up." It felt like the end of the world rather than just a bolt from the blue.
Ahead was a boat dock. Murong Feng, acting on impulse, bought a ticket and rented a small boat. The boat drifted slowly on the lake, the water gently rippling, and the warm breeze brushing against his face.
What a beautiful day it was, yet Murong Feng felt all of this was as distant as another world.
He rowed the boat unconsciously, passing under the Yinding Bridge from Qianhai into Houhai, where the water opened up. His eyes involuntarily glanced toward the lakeshore, towards the bar he had just stormed out of.
She stepped out of the bar, seemingly without a trace of regret or reluctance. Her face was still smiling sweetly, but now she was with a well-dressed middle-aged man. Was he waiting outside for her to finish talking? Watching them get into a BMW and drive away, Murong Feng felt his heart shatter into pieces, sinking slowly into the cold water along with the warm wind and rippling waves.
Yes, three years after graduating from college, he had accomplished nothing. How could he provide her with a better life? Maybe this choice was better for her. But why did his heart still hurt so much? Murong Feng tried to comfort himself, but he couldn't stop his body from trembling.
The lake water was clear, but one could still see some trash discarded by tourists, floating aimlessly, just like people in the world. In her eyes, was he also like this trash, casually discarded?
Murong Feng suddenly felt disinterested. Her person and her heart were both gone. The only attachment he had in this world was no more, and he wondered what meaning there was left in living.
He stood up, letting the boat drift, closed his eyes, and felt the afternoon sun envelop him. The slightly damp air, mixed with the faint scent of grass and trees, filled the breeze. From now on, even beautiful scenes would not be the same without her.
Filled with a dark sense of resignation, he couldn't help but think: If he jumped into the water now, would it end all his pain? He shook his head and smiled bitterly. With his swimming skills honed from childhood, jumping into the lake was not a good idea.
"Hey! Stop rocking the boat!" Suddenly, he heard a shout nearby. He opened his eyes and saw a group of young boys and girls huddled together in a boat, laughing and playing. Two boys were sitting on either side of the boat, rocking it playfully while laughing loudly.
He glanced at them and then looked away. Although he was not much older than these middle school kids, his heart felt much older. Disturbed by their antics, he sat back down and began to row away.
Suddenly, there was a splash and a chorus of screams. Murong Feng turned to see the young people in a panic, with water splashing around the boat. Someone had fallen into the water!
"She can't swim! ... Help!" The girls on the boat screamed, and the boys looked terrified and hesitant. Without thinking, Murong Feng dove into the lake.
By now, people on the shore had noticed the commotion and started gathering. The kids on the boat were still shouting for help, but Murong Feng had already swum to the person in the water.
The girl had swallowed a lot of water and was struggling desperately. Murong Feng knew from water rescue knowledge not to approach her from the front to avoid being grabbed and endangered himself.
He approached from behind, slipping one arm under her armpit and around her chest, saying, "Don't be afraid, and don't move. I'll save you!" But the girl turned and grabbed his hand in panic. Fortunately, Murong Feng was prepared. After a struggle, he managed to pull the exhausted, semi-conscious girl to the shore.
After performing CPR and clearing her airways, the girl finally began to breathe on her own. An ambulance arrived soon after, called by a concerned bystander. Feeling melancholic, Murong Feng had no interest in the praise from the gathered crowd and the girl's friends. He pushed through the crowd, not wanting to deal with the police and the paperwork, and left Houhai, even forgetting to retrieve the deposit for the rented boat.
As he walked away, still drenched, Murong Feng reflected on the sudden turn of events, feeling as if it had been a dream. He had been contemplating ending his life, but instead, he had saved someone from drowning and became a hero.
Despite the bustling scene, his spirits remained low, but the overwhelming despair had lessened. Determining his direction, he headed towards his rented room in an alley north of Ping'an Street. Now, she would probably never return there again.
Murong Feng had graduated from the Chinese Department of Northern University. The spirit of intellectual freedom and inclusivity deeply imprinted on his character. During his four years there, he thrived, organizing literary societies, participating in theater groups, chess clubs, and basketball teams, and finding his beloved girlfriend Zhao Nian, the campus beauty from the Business School.
However, fate played a cruel trick. Before graduation, Murong Feng learned of his parents' death in a car accident. Overwhelmed with grief, he managed to muddle through his final university days with his girlfriend's support. He had no heart for further studies and missed the crucial civil service exams before graduation.
After finally finding a job at a newspaper, he soon realized his free-spirited nature and creative ideas were incompatible with the regimented life of a state-owned newspaper. He resigned in frustration.
He tried various jobs—sales, marketing, furniture sales, advertising. Each time, he faced setbacks, realizing that his so-called talent was just a beautiful façade within the ivory tower and held little value in the cutthroat real world, which demanded cunning and ruthlessness.
Ironically, the articles he wrote in his free time were published by various newspapers, earning him considerable income. So, Murong Feng became a freelancer, writing reviews for magazines and newspapers, earning enough to live comfortably while spending his leisure time playing games and reading novels.
His girlfriend Zhao Nian quickly adapted to society, landing a job in a renowned international cosmetics company, doing marketing. Immersed in the fashion industry, she often attended high-profile events and soon became a "successful and beautiful career woman," attracting many admirers.
In recent years, their relationship had grown strained. Murong Feng thought they could resolve their issues with a heart-to-heart talk, believing that their years of affection would prevail. But today, he still faced a breakup.
As he wandered the streets, walking along paths they had often strolled hand-in-hand, the pain in Murong Feng's heart, though faint, deeply eroded his soul. He dared not return to their once cozy little home, fearing the silence that awaited.
He stopped at a small shop at the corner of an alley to buy a pack of cigarettes. Noticing a new lottery machine in the store, he casually asked the owner, "You've started selling lottery tickets too?"
The owner smiled, "Yes, lottery tickets are popular these days. Recently, a nearby lottery point had a winner of
Murong Feng had always looked down on those who dreamed of getting rich through the lottery, believing that earning wealth through one's abilities was more rewarding. But over the years, he had lost some of that arrogance. In this society, talent and opportunity were equally important. Perhaps opportunity was even more crucial, given the abundance of talented people in this city.
He was about to decline but found himself saying, "Sure, I'll take a random ticket."
He pocketed the lottery ticket, lit a cigarette, and took a deep drag, finally sighing as he continued home.
Nearing his place, he saw the blind beggar sitting against the wall. Murong Feng walked over and placed a yuan in the beggar's bowl, remembering how Zhao Nian used to scold him every time he did this. He realized he would never hear her scolding again.