Chereads / The Idle True Monarch of Genshin Impact / Chapter 1 - An Old Friend of the Millelith

The Idle True Monarch of Genshin Impact

🇨🇳tianzekunkun
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - An Old Friend of the Millelith

"Mr. Gu Sanqiu, let me ask you again: why did you sneak out at night, disturb the peace, break into private homes, and randomly dig up ornamental ponds?""Well, it's probably because I was looking for a treasure chest?"In the interrogation room, the serious-faced man in ancient attire instantly lost his composure."Who the hell hides treasure chests in those places these days, you idiot!""Do you think those places are safer than the major banks in Liyue? What kind of logic is that?""Uh, don't be mad. Look, I was very careful this time and didn't get noticed by the public. That's thanks to the Millelith's excellent education, right?""So you're saying our Millelith training produced an increasingly skilled thief?!""No, no, no, I didn't mean that. That was a slip of the tongue. Please don't take it to heart."The young man in the black robe waved his hands repeatedly, showing a conciliatory smile."So, can I leave now?""Leave? Where do you want to go? To dig up your so-called treasure chest again? I bet your next stop is the Golden House, isn't it?""Hey, hey, that's slander, pure slander!""Forget it, I'm not going to argue with you anymore."The armored man wore a "too tired to speak" expression, raising his right hand to signal outside the door."Standard procedure: lock him up in the holding cell for three days."Gu Sanqiu was obediently lifted up. Although his actions were indeed abnormal, he wouldn't dare to "assault an officer" on the Millelith's turf."Hey, buddy, what a coincidence! You're in jail too?"Inside the holding cell, a long-haired girl lightly swung her legs, waving at the entering Gu Sanqiu."As the head of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, you seem like a lively person. How about booking one of our special services?""Considering our friendship, I can give you a 20% discount. And if you book our special service, even if you die in Cuijue Slope, Tianqiu Valley, or the far corners of Jueyun Karst, I can bring you back."The girl in the black hat lightly tapped her chin with her forefinger. "If you have any extra requests, maybe I could even offer you a joyful funeral package?""Hehe, maybe this is a new business direction.""We're both in the holding cell; no need to think about these things.""Didn't expect to meet you here today, so..."Gu Sanqiu pulled out a finely crafted box engraved with Mora and dragon patterns."Shall we?""Ho ho ho, bring it on, let me show you the power of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!"Three days later—"Three of a kind.""Ace bomb!"Gu Sanqiu looked up, expressionless, at the girl in front of him. "Care to explain?""It's all about momentum, the aura of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!""Alright."Gu Sanqiu pushed his cards towards the girl's eyes."So, how is the great Hutao going to play these cards?""Hmm..."Hutao pouted as she examined the cards in her hands, then peeked at Gu Sanqiu."Don't even think about it. Ever since you pulled that card-swapping trick, I've been watching you closely whenever you're not the landlord."Gu Sanqiu, chewing on a skewer of chicken and mushrooms, said, "By the way, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor isn't far from Chihu Rock. Why don't you ever bring your own food when you get locked up and always eat mine?""I don't have your kind of convenience. By the way, how do you do that trick? Is it a Vision?"Hutao, holding her cards in both hands, was fed a fragrant shrimp ball by a white, clean-looking ghost."Mm~ this taste, it's the limited edition giant tiger shrimp from Xinyue Kiosk, what a treat~""Yeah, I'll send you the bill—""Hey!"Hutao quickly threw her cards on the ground and pulled the dish closer to herself."We're friends, and you're charging me for a few shrimp balls? That's too much!"She pouted, stuffing the remaining shrimp balls into her mouth with both hands."Mm... Wangsheng...""Swallow first.""You said it yourself, it's limited edition every month. I got you fresh delicacies in a holding cell, and I'm not even charging you a service fee."Gu Sanqiu, expressionless: "You eat my shrimp balls and cheat in cards. How are you different from those old men at the harbor who always renege on their games?""No worries, next time you two won't have this chance."Both of them froze, turning their heads in unison towards the cell door, where a tall, burly figure stood with arms crossed, staring at them."Hey, Instructor Fang Shitou, long time no see~"Hutao waved enthusiastically. "Sanqiu brought lots of food, want to join?""Don't listen to her."Gu Sanqiu quickly stood up, smiling as he shook the instructor's hand."Instructor Fang Pan, you've had a long, tiring journey. It's really kind of you to release us, I'm so grateful.""I don't know what to say to you."Fang Pan sighed, pointing outside. "Let's go. Your time is up. I hope I won't see you two in here again. This isn't a vacation spot!""Alright, alright, we're leaving."With a glanceHutao swiftly stood up, responsibly cleaning up the trash and giving Gu Sanqiu a thumbs-up.Full of understandingFang Pan, weapon in hand, watched them leave together, sighing heavily."Sigh, you know, one is the current head of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, and the other is the sole heir of the Gu family incense makers.""How come, how come...""Hey, Instructor Fang, I think these two juniors are quite fun, at least they're not like those other nobles in Feiyun Slope.""They're young, it's okay to be a bit mischievous. As long as they don't make serious mistakes, these are memories they'll laugh about in the future."Fang Pan's face changed, glaring at the subordinate beside him."Brat, did you slack off to listen to storytelling while I was away? Fess up!""I know you lot too well. With your literacy, you couldn't come up with such fancy words!""Don't send the bill to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, bye~"Hutao made a fierce gesture with her hands, while Gu Sanqiu yawned and waved, heading home.After bathing and changing, Gu Sanqiu, now clean and tidy, solemnly held three incense sticks, respectfully placing them into a large cauldron engraved with mountain, river, bird, and beast patterns."Geo Lord, bless me..."Gu Sanqiu smirked. "Brother Zhongli, Zhongli buddy, bless me, considering I treated your head of the parlor to limited-edition golden shrimp balls. Bless me with a good haul tonight."After joking, Gu Sanqiu lit more incense, sincerely recited his family's secret prayers, and then left the incense-filled, solemn room."Let's see what I'll get tonight."Gu Sanqiu pointed forward with his left hand, and a black void vortex appeared in front of him."Lord Zhongli, bless me with something golden. I'll patronize Wangsheng Funeral Parlor tomorrow, maybe even buy some coffins to use as firewood."With a flick of his right hand, a pure golden fishing rod appeared. With a skillful flick of his wrist, the thin line fell into the vortex, demonstrating his profound skills."Here we go!"