'Sometimes I feel like I want to run away.'
Connie thought while staring at the sky—a blue, beautiful sky, full of life.
'Like the birds, be free.'
Her hands extended hopefully to the sky.
'A place where everyone gets along well.'
She stretched her fingers further toward the sky.
'And where I don't feel this empty and lonely.'
Her fingers touched the air.
And they would keep touching.
"Connie...!"
The voice of her teacher echoed in the classroom.
"Do you know how to answer this question?"
Bam!
Her teacher hit the blackboard with a scowl on her face.
"I- I..."
She tried to say something, but the words seemed stuck in her throat.
Her eyes focused on the blackboard, but the numbers blurred, even with her glasses on.
Her breath became irregular.
"Pft...!"
Laughter rose around her. The other children were laughing at her.
Connie's face flushed bright red.
"Ha..." sighed her teacher, rubbing her temples.
"The sky is beautiful, but your job here is to pay attention in class, you know?"
The teacher's voice was stern, her demeanor serious.
"Hahaha!"
"Seriously, what are you doing?"
"I can't breathe...! Pft-!"
The laughter grew louder.
"Do you understand?"
"...Yes."
"I can't hear you!"
"Y-Yes!"
Her face grew even redder.
'I did it again...!'
Connie felt her breath becoming more uneven.
She wanted to die from shame.
She gripped the fabric of her skirt and lowered her head.
The sound of laughter echoed in her ears.
"Silence." said the teacher in a solemn voice.
"..."
The room fell silent at her command.
"Your grades are good, Connie."
Two sharp eyes stared down at her.
It was supposed to be a compliment, but it didn't feel like one.
"But that doesn't mean you can daydream during class."
Her eyes were cold, sending a shiver down Connie's spine.
"Yes, teacher."
"Good."
The blue sky outside seemed to turn gray, mirroring her mood.
The world felt slow, and her legs no longer felt like her own.
She stared blankly at her notebook.
[Math: Fractions]
There was only a small note with nothing else written.
She slowly picked up her pencil and tried to write something.
[I want to go home]
School seemed like torture to her.
Usually, she could pay attention to the class, but her mind was so dispersed today.
Connie looked at the teacher writing with bored eyes.
The class was so uninteresting.
Her teacher used complex words and examples.
Every time she pointed out someone to answer the air would get heavy.
Was someone even understanding this class? What was the sense of it?
Connie could understand everything because she had read the entire book.
But what about her classmates?
She looked at her surroundings with curious eyes.
No one was paying attention to the class.
Some were hiding their phones under their desks.
And others were throwing paper balls secretly at each other.
Tunk.
A paper ball struck her face.
She glanced in the direction it came from.
At the same time, a boy stuck his tongue out at her.
Even seeing such provocation she didn't change her face.
She picked up the paper ball and opened it with slow movements.
[Four-eyed nerd]
Without a word, she shoved the ball into her backpack.
If she threw it in the trash, the teacher would notice.
And having her attention on her wouldn't bring any good results.
Why was she always targeted by the teacher and those children?
She had thought that if she studied harder than others, put in more effort, and behaved, people would be kind to her.
However the teacher seemed even stricter with her, and her classmates bullied her over anything they could.
Her parents were all she had, but it was hard to get their attention.
Her mom, a doctor, was always busy. Most of their interactions were about her condition, diet, and grades.
Her dad was less strict but equally busy. He was a good father, but she didn't have many memories with him.
She knew they cared, and she was grateful for that, but it didn't make her feel any less lonely.
Connie spent her time staring at the sky, imagining the space and stars.
Compared to her boring world the space was full of mystery and interesting things.
How beautiful would it be to explore beyond Earth?
When she wasn't gazing at the sky, she was looking out at the sea.
She had memorized many boats that way.
Every day felt boring, hard, and sad.
At least when she read books, she could escape into a fantasy world.
That was her only refuge.
"Listen, children."
Her teacher's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"We are going to have a school trip soon. Here are the permission slips your parents need to sign."
'School trip...'
Connie didn't like school trips.
They only reminded her of how friendless she was.
She was often the "new student".
Thanks to her dad's job she was always traveling and moving home.
Every time it was a new place with new faces.
Even if she tried to make friends, it would always hurt in the end because she knew she should move again and lose them.
She walked slowly to pick up the permission slip.
'Finally, it ended...' she thought while trying to go out.
Grab.
A hand on her shoulder stopped her steps.
"Connie."
A neutral voice greeted her. It was her teacher.
Will she humiliate her again?
"I'm sorry about earlier. I should have been more considerate."
Unexpectedly, her teacher apologized.
"But I won't take back what I said. Your grades are good, but don't let them go to your head."
'Ha...' she sighed internally.
Her teacher was always like that—one compliment followed by a criticism.
"I don't show favoritism to anyone."
"Yes, teacher."
Connie was tired.
Tired of the teacher's lectures, tired of this class.
She just wanted to go home.
She adjusted her backpack and walked to the subway.
Walking and observing her surroundings were some of her few hobbies.
Many people were waiting for the subway.
Adults with jobs, children like her, and old women.
How did they live? Better or worse than her?
Maybe one of those children was passing through situations even worse than her.
And those adults? Maybe like her parents, they had children to care for.
Did they like their jobs? Is it fun to be an adult?
The old women always wore similar and old clothes.
Why? Will she become this way someday?
Connie was thinking about those things.
Compared to others, how was she living?
She was sad, but she had a good family.
She was bullied, but at least she had her books.
And she was young with many years to live.
'It's okay!'
She convinced herself.
Life wasn't so bad. The hard times would pass someday.
She would grow up, and become stronger and smarter!
Connie wiped away the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
Sniff.
She didn't want anyone to think she was weak.
*
Creek~
When she arrived home, it was empty.
It was a familiar sight.
She took off her backpack and changed into more comfortable clothes.
'What book should I read today?'
She thought while staring at her small bookshelf.
'Dogcopter!'
The cover was beautiful.
A girl like her and a dog, but not just any dog—a dogcopter!
It was such an interesting story.
She read the book, fully immersed.
When she read, she didn't feel sad or struggle with her thoughts.
She loved to read.
Tok- Tok-
A sound came from the door, pulling her attention away.
'Who could be at this hour?'
Her parents weren't expected home anytime soon.
She walked to the door and opened it curiously.
Creek.
In front of her there was a young girl in a wheelchair, smaller than her.
'Beautiful...'
The girl had delicate black hair and a faint, fragile presence.
Her eyes were like broken jewels and her nose was small, giving her both a mature and childlike charm.
'Who is she?'
Connie couldn't help but feel curious about the girl.
Her mother stood beside the wheelchair, writing something to the girl.
Connie looked at her mother, questions in her eyes.
"Connie."
Gulp.
She swallowed nervously, sensing something important.
"This will be your new sister."
"Hi?"
Her mother's words were shocking.
She had expected to hear "cousin" or "a friend's child".
But "sister"?
Connie looked at her mother's face again.
She was showing the same stoic face as always.
'Really?'
When she looked at her dad he was just smiling with a sweaty face.
She and her dad seemed to share the same complex feelings.
Looking at him, Connie also tried to put a smile on her face.
In the same way as her father, Connie also had mastered a precious skill for her survival.
Deal with nonsense with a smile.
"W-What's your name?"
She asked the girl.
At least she needed to know who she would be living with.
Thud—
Suddenly, a body fell into her arms.
Connie instinctively held her body before touching the ground.
"Eh?!"
It was completely unexpected.
She looked like a short-circuited machine while trying to process what was happening.
"Are you okay?!"
She asked, but no answer came.
That was the first time she met her new sister.
It was a so peculiar event in her gray world that she would never forget.