"...Have you ever wondered about what your purpose in life is?"

Quite a philosophical question, wouldn't you say?

The Elven hero lay on the ground before me, in a small pool made of his own blood as he weakly breathed in the foul and poisonous air, trying his utmost to prolong his life, albeit uselessly, as he glared at me with a fierce intensity of emotions.

"The purpose of your life is something that can guide your life decisions, influence your behavior, shape your goals, offer a sense of direction and finally, create a meaning to your life."

"So then I ask you, O Great Hero, what was the purpose of YOUR life!?"

Although this Hero will be remembered to have saved the world today, I still could not hide the sarcasm in my voice as I asked him this question for the second time.

The Hero hatefully ground his teeth together before mumbling out a response.

".....Why...are...you doing....all...this?"

Looks like the Hero did not appreciate my effort to send him off in peace. Or maybe he was just stupid enough to never study philosophy, before he reincarnated here. Who knows?

Anyway, I paid his irrelevant mumbling no mind as my gaze swept over the dead hero party members whose body parts were strewn all around the place, behind the Hero and kept on speaking.

"Let's leave aside all the philosophical sophistry that your dumb brain is unable to comprehend, then. In simple words, I am asking if you knew your purpose, the reason for your existence!"

"You can't be thinking that being someone like a Hero can be without its meaning now, can you?"

"The reason you and I are still striving to live our lives even though we both know that all that awaits us at the end of our road is to die, leaving behind all you ever built up in your life, to be inherited by the next person who will repeat the cycle once again."

"The purpose that we are born to fulfill, a purpose that gives our life meaning. Because without that meaning, our lives lose their worth. What worth does someone have when their lives do not have any impact on anything?"

"The Great Hero must be aware of his destiny and purpose, right?"

Listening to my one-sided lecture on philosophy for so long while enduring the corrosion of the poison must have been painful for the hero, or maybe academics wasn't his strongest suit, as he gnashed his teeth in anger and said to me while coughing up some more black blood,

"...Why..are you...telling me...all this...BULLSH*T!? *cough* *cough*"

Hearing his response, I shook my head in disappointment...

As expected of the hero, he still did not die. Still, he might die anytime now, so I decided to grace him with my backstory, the one from my previous life before reincarnating in this world. After all, he is the biggest protagonist I will ever get to see.....Probably.

As a fellow reincarnator, only he would be able to understand me properly.

At least that sounds like a valid enough reason for exposing my villain backstory and fulfilling the usual antagonist trope, gotta act the whole part since I decided to be one.

Oh, where was I again?

Ah, yes, the meaning of life and all that philosophical shit.

Not waiting for the Elven Hero's reply, I continued my monologue about my previous life.

"I, for one, have pondered over this question for as long as I can remember. Well, it's not like I can remember much from my early childhood, but from whatever I do remember, it was a question I wanted to know the answer to the most. Not because I was a philosopher from birth or the reincarnation of Socrates, NO!"

"It was because I wanted to know whether there was any meaning of my suffering, physical and psychological, that I had been enduring from my childhood."

Yes, contrary to what someone would expect from a genius boy like me, my childhood was not something even remotely pleasant in my previous life.

My parents were both typical office workers. They were not very successful in their career lives, just enough to keep their middle-class lifestyle going in the modern society in the era of inflation. Slaving away in the corporate sector all their life, knowing they would never improve their position due to their mediocrity as well as unreasonable company politics.

The only memories that were not depressing were actually from my early childhood. I had quite a pleasant memory of those times when I was such a carefree, naive and stupid kid, playing around and being loved and cared for by my parents.

I still had parents who loved me, friends to play with, and hope to live with. Life was going on quite well like it should for a little kid.

Well, that was until they were fired from their workplaces...

My family was never the type to save money, if they could even do that in the first place. Under the financial stress and not being able to find proper jobs, they broke down quite quickly.

They started to become more and more moody and easily irritable. Quarrels broke out quite often.

As a result, our family's relations became estranged. Dad was working overtime in a shady company and Mom working part-time jobs to keep the family afloat and pay for my tuition fees.

Life was difficult, but we held on.

My carefree childhood life also came to an early end, and I had to focus on studying to improve the situation at home in the future.

But well, my parents were working overtime for my betterment now. How could I disappoint them?

I thought by doing better in studying, I could at least show them the appreciation they deserved and relieve the tension in our family.

So, I studied, studied, and studied some more.

But it was not enough, I was far too naive about the ways of the world. The tension only rose and fighting became frequent. As I was the reason they chose not to separate yet, I had to also become their outlet for stress.

Even when I did well in studying, it was not enough in their eyes. It was like I was not respecting their sacrifice for me.

Although it looked like my talent was lacking, it was a school meant for the children of elites, and I could still consistently do well in studying back then. Still, it did not really mean anything much to my parents.

The only thing I remember that ever served to do was to get me bullied until middle school as my physical condition was just.....awful.

There was no mother's embrace or father's pep talk waiting at home for me after I returned home though. It was always me sobbing and sniffing to sleep and a little bit more....study!

Can't disappoint my beloved parents more than I already have!

There was no remedy for the bullying though. I was merely the son of a pair of failed office workers in an environment filled with children of influential people.

Even if they get warned or even suspended for their behavior, they could not be expelled now, could they?

It was not like my timid personality would help me to escape from bullying anyway.

And it would always get worse for me, as I never planned to stop trampling on them in the exams anytime soon. It was for my loving parents as well as repayment for their 'care' for me.

In those dark times of my life, I would seek to escape reality by immersing myself in fantasy movies, anime, and later manga and novels. Seeking something I could not attain in my monochrome life from the colorful lives of protagonists of those stories, free and full of adventures.

I would arduously pray for a zombie apocalypse to happen, or even a Korean dungeon gate appearing would also be fine. I could not really wish for Truck-kun to give me a ride to another world as I was afraid of the pain I would have to endure as the ride fees.

Unfortunately, nothing happened.

No apocalypse, no end of the world in 2012, no dungeon gates, no sudden system appearing. Heck, even the trucks in my city were careful to the point where trying to hitch a ride to another world would end up fruitless.

It was during my middle school that something began to change in me.

Even though I could not notice that change slowly occurring within me at that time, that change was what defined what I would be in the future.

I had found what my purpose was in life. I understood why I had to endure all the suffering and put in all the effort and some more to become better than everyone.

It was then that I learned basic cooking and started following a strictly nutritious diet and also working out to fix my pitiful physical condition.

I also joined the sports club activities to train my stamina, going from a slightly obese, sickly pale-looking shorty kid, to the dashing young man with a muscle-packed yet lean and flexible bronze-tanned body that the girls would drool over.

You would think my grades suffered due to the extra work and training that I had to put in, right?

Wrong!

After middle school, there was never a time that I had to hear anything about my being incapable of anything. I also got accepted into a prestigious tech university for my bachelor's degree.

Can you believe it?

Well, at least I was not a disappointment to my parents anymore. I could also say that I was among the best sports players in our academy at the time of my high school graduation. I even created a successful startup idea as a freshman student which netted me quite a bit of fame and money.

It was safe to say that I was living the dream student life at that time.

Born in a 'caring' family, 'blessed' with good looks, great at studying and sports, living the dream life of all students. Everyone believed I was going to have a bright future, destined to live my life in the spotlight, surrounded by luxury and comfort.

I was just one step away from becoming independent and working towards fulfilling my purpose in life.

Unfortunately, my fate was not having any of it, and had arranged for something else in store for me.

When I thought everything was going fine and my life was about to turn into something worth living for, I simply....died.

I didn't understand how a robber could enter an apartment complex and coincidentally end up in my apartment on the 7th floor, at that.

No matter how it happened, I suppose it was just my fate that brought my demise. Or maybe it was my desperation.

My desperation to save myself from the insanity inside me threatens to devour me whole. My desperation to save the light of hope from dying within me. To fulfill my purpose in life.

That brings us to the topic of purpose again.

".....That is why I asked you what your purpose is. You probably didn't even think about these things before your reincarnation here. After coming here, you get recognized as the Hero and suddenly you have to 'save' the world while living the anime life."

"You already fulfilled your purpose in this world, Hero. There is no more action for you here. That's why I liberated you, you know?"

Turning my eyes to look at the Hero once again, who I confided in about the life that no one else knew about, I cast a magic disruption spell to stop the spell he tried to cast with the small amount of mana he regenerated while I was blabbering away.

"As for what you asked me before: why am I doing this, was it? Obviously, like you, I have my own purpose in life."

"Like you were the protagonist of this world, I am the antagonist. That is what gives me purpose. To be the protagonist of my own story, and show the side characters like you their places. No matter what happens, the last one to stand will always be me."

Looking at the lifeless eyes of the hero, I was sure he understood my reasoning from the story of my previous life.

To honor him for listening to me till his dying breath, I stood up and decided to at least bury him properly before leaving this dreary place.

That was the one and only purpose that I defined for myself, structured with all my suffering and hope that I sought to fulfill in a world without any magic, superpowers, dungeons, or apocalypse.

This was the story of my life before my rebirth.

My life as the person known as Alvin Carter.