Tony finally relaxed and let the so-called gods do their fighting. To his utter dissatisfaction, Thor's friends were already falling back to safety. They were weak beyond measure.
However, Thor made a decision to face the enemy armor himself.
"Ah, the heroic sacrifice of the main character," Tony commented as if watching a movie. "But will the tables turn?"
Bam!
The metallic armor suddenly bitch-slaped Thor right on his mortal face, throwing him dozens of meters away in the air. Jane Foster cried and ran for her lover.
Tony sighed and looked at Eric. "Isn't Thor supposed to be thousands of years old?"
"Around fifteen hundred," Eric answered.
Tony sneered and shook his head, a bitter taste forming on his tongue. "A fifteen-hundred-year-old god fell in love with a twenty-something mortal woman? That age gap makes it almost like ped—ah, you know what, let's just not go there."
"Ugh, it feels yucky now that you say it." Darcy gloomed.
Shwoooo~
Clank!
Just then, something came flying from the sky like a missile and landed in Thor's hand. A massive bolt of thunder fell from the sky at the same time, shrouding Thor.
"Show off," Tony mumbled and made his moves. " Jarvis, move the Iron Guardians. We only got one chance."
Amidst all that chaos, nobody noticed ten Iron Guardians hovering in the sky just a little above the town. At an equal distance from each other, they constantly flashed their eyes as if scanning something.
Don't end the fight too quickly. Tony had no more doubt that this was Thor himself. How many other instances of alien contact have occurred before?
He found yet another reason to become the President. He wanted to know everything that there was to know.
As he sipped coffee with a thousand thoughts in his head, he watched the battle go forth. Thor got a complete power-up as soon as he got himself a nice red cape. Thankfully, he didn't wear his underwear over his pants.
The thunder overpowered the fire and steel easily, throwing the armor around like a piece of toy. A mere few minutes, that was how long the battle lasted with the knockout move being a tornado that Thor created.
"Jarvis, do it!"
The ten Iron Guardians landed in that tornado itself and moved around without being noticed by anyone. By the time Thor walked out with his victory, Tony ordered the Iron Guardians to leave as well.
"The task has been completed, Sir."
"Did you get them?"
"The alien armor pieces have been harvested. The battle has been scanned, recorded, and analyzed. Thor's blood has been successfully stored safely." Jarvis gave a quick checklist. "The Iron Guardians are now on standby."
Tony took a calming breath at last. He had reasons to not get involved in the battle. Observing the aliens was the biggest priority. There was no telling if they'd be violent against humanity someday. Or worse, what if they still had some sort of god complex and wanted to rule humans?
"Show's over." Tony finished his coffee and stood up. He walked out of the shop and measured Thor. Now donned in the strange armor and red cape, he wondered if the armor and the hammer were made of some special metal.
"We must go to the Bifrost site." Thor decided. "I will have words with my brother."
"Excuse me!" A car stopped near them and a man in a suit walked up to them. "I don't think you've been completely honest with me."
"Coulson?" Tony recognized the Shield agent. "Ah, this is where you were dispatched. Is Cyclops here too?"
"No, Mr. Stark. Director Fury is busy with something else." Coulson respectfully answered, considering the man might become his boss by the end of next year.
"So Shield knows about aliens?" Tony asked further.
Coulson looked away from Tony, afraid of matching gaze. He focused on Thor instead. "There were some doubts at first. But I'm sure we all can look past them now."
Thor agreed and asked to be seen as Earth's ally. But the God of Thunder seemed far too interested in the human woman instead and grabbed her close by her waist.
"Would you like to see the bridge we spoke of?" He suggested and flew away into the sky with her.
"Yep, totally not unhinged. Well, he can always find another girl when she gets old and kicks the bucket, right?" Tony coughed as he watched them go. "Right?"
Eric rubbed his forehead in acceptance, having arrived in the research van. Jane Foster had no future with the God of Thunder, it wasn't hard to see.
"That's brutal… but honest," Darcy chirped. "I like honest guys. You're amazing, Mr—"
"No, you can't touch the suit."
"Ah, dang it." Darcy stomped her feet. "Then, can you give me a lift to where they went?"
Tony scratched his beard for a moment and eventually agreed. He was going there anyway, after all. "Sure."
"Yes!" Darcy excitedly jumped closer to Tony and grabbed his armored arm.
Before wrapping his arm around her curvy waist, Tony glanced at Coulson. "Hey, do me a favor. Tell Fury I'm still waiting on that 'report' of his. Sending a spy to my place? Not cool. Not cool at all."
Coulson awkwardly nodded. "I'll forward the message."
"Alright then." Tony wrapped an arm around Darcy's waist at last. It was unbelievably soft and he could feel that even with his armored suit. "Hang on tight."
"Yeah, baby!" Darcy roared in excitement like it was some roller coaster ride, wrapping her arms around Tony's armor-covered neck.
Silently flying, Tony looked at the woman in his arms. Her file was open to him, a girl in her early twenties on the verge of graduating. Surprisingly, she was a political science major and was somehow working for a theoretical astrophysicist.
Not bad at all. He admired not the brain but the beauty. She didn't look to be in her early twenties at all. Only her personality hinted at her age, the rest was just… ripe.
They flew away as Darcy plastered herself to his chest. Tony held onto her with one arm, using the other hand to stabilize their flight.
With how tight he had to hold her, firm enough to not let her slip but gentle enough so the girl wouldn't feel any pain; it was easy for him to measure her three sizes. Like a sensual hourglass, her waist fitted perfectly under his arm, while her bust was pressed gently onto his chest. He didn't know how soft they were, but he could imagine it, seeing how they smushed delicately onto his armor like slightly compressed jelly.
Her bottom protruded out under her waist, and he could almost feel the lusty slope wiggle on his palm. From her waist to her ass, continuing down to her feathery thighs, he couldn't help but imagine the squishy softness. The complete opposite of Thor's choice, that petite mortal, he found himself liking the more flavorful beauty.
"How did you end up with astrophysicists?" He asked her.
Darcy shrugged while enjoying the view. "It's not that hard."
"What?"
"Astrophysics."
"..." For the first time, Tony was seeing someone call astrophysics easy. He doubted it was just her overconfidence speaking since she did work with Eric Selvig. "Too bad, I was in need of campaign managers."
"Wait, what?!" Darcy's head snapped up. "Hold up, Mr. Stark. I can totally do both. Political science is my jam, and astrophysics? That's just my geeky side hustle."
Tony chuckled as he found her way of talking somewhat similar to him. "Let's discuss it later."
They soon landed near a strange pattern in the ground. Thor was already there and shouting towards the sky, shouting for Heimdall.
Extremely intrigued by the pattern on the ground, Tony set all his attention on the ongoing events with a whisper to his AI friend. "Jarvis, take position. Don't you leave a single reading."
"Heimdall!"
Shhh~
Right then, a tornado started to form in the sky, brimming with changing colors. It continued to come towards the ground as if an energy beam charging to shoot up.
This doesn't feel like pure technology. Tony frowned. "Jarvis, what's the reading?"
"Other than gravitational and spatial anomalies there is nothing, Sir. The readings are within the natural limit," Jarvis answered.
"Bullshit! This is anything but natural. He's making a teleportation medium of all things. To make something like this, the required energy is outside the realm of imagination, even for me." Tony whispered inside the helmet in disbelief. "Keep analyzing it. Maybe it's powered by unicorn tears or something."
"Metal man." Thor looked at Tony after kissing his mortal lover. "Would you like to join me in battle for the honor of Asgard?"
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