" Welcome kazuma and guests to the afterlife. My name is aqua and I'm the goddess that leads you on" says aqua bored, still munching on chips.
" Wait what about the girl is she ok?" Says kazuma worried.
" Yes she is ok. " Says aqua seriously before laughing," she would've been fine even if you didn't push her down. What you thought was a truck was actually a slow tractor that had stopped."
She continues laughing at kazuma as Helena just watches sighing at the mocking of kazuma's death. Aqua continues to speak," and you being a shut in neet thought the truck ran you over. When you actually died from fear pissing yourself. The paramedics, the doctors and your parents are still laughing at this."
" Anyway I'm good now, now where was I oh yeah telling about your options. First is heaven but it's not as great as everyone makes it out. you'll just be a ball of energy floating through light for all eternity. No games, manga or sex, just eternal basking in light."
" That doesn't sound like heaven that's torture," shouts kazuma panicking.
" There is also reincarnation but you loose all memories and you don't have a choice where you're reborn." Says Aqua.
" That doesn't sound any better " says kazuma dejectedly.
" Well there is a third option. You being a shut in neet you should know about video games right. Well there is a world being terrorized by a demon king and due to how dangerous that world is souls decide not to be reborn there so it's suffering a population crisis. " Says Aqua," you go to that world with one gift and if you defeat the demon king the gods will give you another."
" Oh I'll take the third option then," says kazuma as several papers fall before him, " oh how they die" he asks pointing at us and lustfully looking at Helena.
Before Aqua could answer Helena says," we died after a extremely long reverse gang bang session with my boyfriend here. " She hugs my arms before continuing," he was on me and nine other girls for five full days having raunchy unprotected sex. Oh the fun it was. To bad both of us died while screwing one another oh the girls are going to be so disappointed."
Kazuma looks at me with pure envy as I adjust my semi hard-on. He points and says," that's so fucking unfair. How did you do this, how did you get so many girls at the same time."
" Well I'm not a creep, I respect women, andyou believe you are good but let's face it I'm better" I say adding a wolfish grin. 'Dad would be so proud at this remark' I think but suddenly my crotch was grabbed and Helena says," also your micro dick couldn't compare to this bitch breaker."
It's official Helena is spending to much time with the fallen angels and kuroka. I like it a lot more than I probably should. Kazuma gets angry and grabs a random paper and says," I choose this."
Soon a magic circle appears and aqua says," o hero you've chosen the chastity of femdom. A cursed item by Venus the goddess of lust, beauty and love. You're micro penis will be forever caged as your power soars above new heights but only when you've been laid by a man or men."
Kazuma gains a shocked expression before he panicked, " let me choose again." He was about to jump out of the circle but Helena kicks his now caged crotch punting him back into the circle.
I feel kinda bad for him but he deserves it in my opinion. I sigh as Aqua also sighs as well. " Now you two are the VIPs so according to my superiors I have to give you three items each. So hurry up and pick them I'm quite busy," says Aqua impatiently as she eats more crisps. Helena narrows her eyes at her and I know she is going to cause Aqua a headache.
Looking through the scattered papers at the different junk we can choose as a gift it is apparent that everything is virtually useless to us. Except for five things.
Lilith's blessing: gain the powers of a royal succubus. ( Female only)
Bracelet of lust: a magic bracelet that shows the lust/ love of anybody to the wearer.
Star fell bracelet: an enchanted bracelet that has the power of the constellations and the heavens. ( A/N: think Lucy's celestial wizard magic and jellals magic from fairy tail)
Freya's breastplate: a godly armor given to the strongest Valkyrie in service of Freya. Wearer gains immunity to mind manipulations and charisma towards the wearers preferred sex. ( Female only)
Dragon heart: a heart of a dragon boosts power durability, magic and charisma of the one that obtains it. Caution: driven by primal instincts of not controlled properly.
Helena chose the Lilith's blessing, star fell bracelet and the freya's breastplate. While I chose the dragon heart and bracelet of lust, and a item at the bottom of the pile all wrinkled up called eris's fortuna which increases my fortune as long as I wear it.
" Really you pick all the crappy items in the stack, but oh well have fun," says Aqua bored and condescending," that last one is so pathetic it wasn't even worth putting it in the pile. Glad it's gone."
A magic circle appears around us then I hear Aqua say," what's this."
Around aqua's neck is a collar with several runes and she's beside me and Helena in a flash as a angel comes out of another magic circle.
" Aqua your position has been revoked as the goddess of water for the negligence of your duties as well as the blasphemous words to several other goddesses. Your punishment is eternal servitude to Helena Potter by the decree of Lady Death. " Says the angel before turning to us," we thank you for the help you'll provide, and the goddess Freya, Venus, and Eris have given you thier championships Kyros Black. Please save the world and do not fail us."
" Wait this is wrong I have rights " screams Aqua as we vanish in a flash of light.
" Fucking finally, she's gone and good riddance" says the angel before leaving the now empty room.