I staggered down from the carriage, willing my eyes to stay open. I turned and met Teon's piercing gaze. The words "I'm fine" were about to leave my lips, but I was interrupted by my mother's voice.
"Livi," she called, and I turned to meet her chest. She hugged me tightly and scanned me. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm fine," I recited my rehearsed lines.
"Thank you, Teon," my mother said, and he nodded slowly. "Let's go inside," she said, dragging me with her. I glanced back at Teon, and he looked deep in thought.
I went to my room to freshen up and change before dinner, but I really wanted to lie down; my bones felt weakened and heavy, as if they were made of lead. The dim light filtering through the curtains felt too bright, and the air in the room seemed thick and suffocating. I sat on the edge of the bed, breathing heavily, trying to shake off the fatigue that clung to me like a shadow.
A few weeks ago, I had taken just one dose of the medicine, and for a fleeting moment, it had worked wonders. I had felt alive, invigorated as if I could take on the world. But that relief had long since faded, leaving me with a hollow ache in my chest and a mind that struggled to keep up with the demands of the day. Now, I faced the daunting reality that I had no reserves left. The thought sent a wave of anxiety through me.
I would have to start working on the medicine again, which meant adding bed rest to the regimen. The very idea of lying still felt like a betrayal to the urgency of my tasks. I wanted to be proactive, to take control of my situation, yet my body seemed to have different plans. I could almost hear the familiar whisper of exhaustion urging me to surrender.
As I lay back against the pillow, the cool fabric felt soothing against my skin. My eyes fluttered shut for just a moment, and I allowed myself to imagine a time when I wouldn't have to rely on these medicines. A time when I wouldn't feel like a fragile shell of myself. But reality pulled me back; I had to focus. There was so much to do, and the preparations wouldn't wait for me to regain my strength.
With a resigned sigh, I finally pushed myself up, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me. I knew that if I didn't start the process soon, my condition would only worsen. I needed to gather my thoughts, organize my supplies, and begin the painstaking work of mixing the medicine again. The tension in my chest tightened, but I steeled my resolve. I could do this.
I stood up, walked out, and made my way to the dining room. Teon was sitting there alone, deep in thought. I breezed in quietly and sat down. He looked up and smiled.
"Hey, Fay," he said, and I shifted in my seat, fighting the urge to look down. I nodded, avoiding eye contact.
"You must be tired, right?" he asked, and I hummed in response, unable to find the right words.
"You can rest easy now; no matter how daring the Rosens are, they won't act rashly in the East, unless someone is helping them," he said, and someone scoffed from behind me.
I turned and saw my mother's children walking in. They always stayed together; they must be close.
"Your Highness, good to see you here again," one of them said. I still didn't know who was who, either because of my mother's short introduction or simply because I couldn't remember.
"Thank you for having me," Teon said calmly.
"Some might say you're latching on to Alden," another said.
"I don't have much of a choice," he replied.
"Sit," my mother's voice called everyone's attention. The three boys sat down immediately, not saying another word. "You two must be tired from your travels; make sure you get a good rest today," she said, and we nodded.
After dinner, I went back to my room and fell onto my pillow. He was long asleep. I closed my eyes and joined him immediately.
…
I could barely keep my eyes open. I just stared at the plate in front of me, thinking of raising my hand to eat, but my hands didn't move.
"Fay," Teon called, and I looked up. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm fine," I said quickly, but he didn't seem convinced.
"Livi, you'll have to stay in your annex for a while," my mother said, and I turned to look at her.
"Okay," I replied. That was the plan; I had to get to work soon. It wouldn't take long to make another dose because everything had been prepared.
"And no one should bother her there," my mother ordered, looking at her sons.
"We have nothing to do with her; why would we want to see her?" one of them asked.
"Livi, don't come out until I tell you to. We're going to have a hunt, and I don't want you to get caught in the middle of it," she said. I felt like she was talking about something else.
"Okay," I replied, not dwelling on her statement.
"Your things are already there," she finished.
…
I walked into the building and looked around the storage room; there were still reserves. The things I brought back were also organized for me, but I had to reorganize them.
I looked at my notes, trying to find a way to increase the efficiency of the drug. I added a little poison from Drityl, and if I didn't take the right portion, it could be dangerous for me. Exhausting myself would also make the poison work against me.
I started mixing a few more portions that would last me a while, but I had to start looking for ingredients again. The issue was that I was too sick to begin preparing everything from the start.
I had a lot to do but was too sick for it. I just needed to make the medicine again and start my treatment; then I'd have the energy for more. But I shouldn't be doing anything during treatment. If I didn't, my condition would worsen.
"This is a lot," I mumbled. It's a good thing I'd be in here for now; I could get enough rest as I worked because there would be no distractions.