I walked back into the hall and found my spot beside Sienna. I was feeling much lighter after my discussion with Teon. He doesn't know it, but his warm aura always makes me feel safer. It must be why I trusted him and jumped from the balcony that day.
My eyes met Teon's as he found his way through the crowd, and he smiled. I gave a wry smile—not much of a smile, but a smile nonetheless. I still can't get used to smiling, but I try my best.
My moment of bliss was cut short by a sharp pain in my stomach. I ignored it, but the pain only increased. I hadn't eaten anything substantial all day, so it couldn't have been something I ate, and I was definitely not hungry. So, what was wrong with me?
My stomach hurt. It felt like a sharp rock was placed in it to pierce through me. It hurt a lot, and I know what pain feels like. It was a new feeling, not as painful as the Large Worms or the torturous discipline I experienced in that house. I must be reacting like this because I've gone soft; I no longer experience pain on a daily basis, so something like this feels significant.
I shrugged it off and stood there with a straight face, but it didn't last. I had to leave.
"Sienna," I called, and she turned to look at me, ignoring the student who was speaking to her. "Can I go back?" I asked, and she examined me.
"What's wrong?" she asked, and I shook my head.
"It's nothing," I said. I was in pain, but how was I supposed to act? Should I cry and tell her I'm in pain? That wasn't an option.
"You've stayed long enough, so you can go," she said.
"Thank you," I said and turned to the twins. "I'm going back to my dorm," I said, and they nodded, waving at me.
I walked out of the hall, thinking about the distance I still had to walk. I walked as fast as I could.
"Tiny," I heard, and I turned to look at the one who gave me that nickname.
"Teon," I said, surprised.
"Are you going back?" he asked, and I nodded. "I'll walk you back," he offered.
"You don't have to," I said. "If we are seen together, it would be a problem," I reminded him.
"It's fine," he said, stepping forward. I kept my mouth shut and followed him. I didn't want to say something I'd regret. "Even if Master said we shouldn't be seen together, that doesn't mean we shouldn't see each other at all, right?" That's one way to put it.
"I guess you're right," I said quietly.
"If you are having any problems in school, tell me, okay?" he said, and I looked up to meet his grey eyes.
"Okay," I said, looking away quickly.
"I'll soon get busy again, so I want to use the time I have wisely," he continued, and I just nodded.
"What is your major?" I asked.
"I have two majors: martial arts and political education," he replied, and I nodded.
"It must be stressful," I voiced my thoughts without realizing.
"Are you worried?" he asked.
"I guess I am," I said, looking straight as my dorm came into view.
"Thank you, Fay," he said. He stopped walking, and I stopped as well, turning to look at him. "I can't go any further," he said.
"Oh, uh…" What do I say?
"Goodbye, Tiny," he said, turning to leave.
"Bye," I said quietly. We met again, and he's leaving again. I have a question that has been plaguing me for the past few years, but I can't ask it. "I hope you can meet Tyler," I said louder than I ever expected I'd be able to.
"Who's Tyler?" he asked, turning back.
"Your present," I replied and turned to leave.
If I do live up to eighteen, I'll ask him then. It's my goal: survive long enough to get the answer to the question that has been on my mind for a long time.
I walked in and climbed the stairs quietly as my mind wandered through the evening's events. It was one hectic evening.
"Faina," I heard from behind me, and I turned. "I thought the head was angry with me," Wolfe said.
"Huh?"
"I received a letter with really specific instructions, which means the head wasn't angry with me after all," he said, and I nodded. He received a letter from Mother, which means she's alright.
"I see, that's good to know," I said, but I had to add, "I guess."
"How was the party?" he asked.
"It was okay," I replied.
"Good to know. Well, have a good night," he said and walked away.
I walked to my room and shut the door. Tyler was waiting quietly by the side. I didn't even bother finding out how Tyler had been feeding when I was busy; I felt like a bad person.
I took off the dress and noticed that my underwear was covered in blood; it had even touched my socks. What's going on?
The stomach pain, the blood—it all fit the description of an ailment I read about when I was studying in the Rosen's mansion. Menstruation. It is a condition that affects every female, but I had never experienced it, so I didn't know how it worked.
It hurt a lot, and I was bleeding. I didn't know what to do. It was the first time I had experienced something like that; the feeling was foreign, and it made me scared.
"What do I do?" I asked myself. I took a quick bath and changed, but it was pointless.
I walked to the study room and picked up the box with the communication device inside and looked at it. Mother would know what to do.
"How do I use it?" I asked myself as I examined it.
I sat on the floor and leaned my head against the wall as I stared at it. How do I use it? She said I shouldn't try to call her, but I didn't have any other option. I closed my eyes and let the exhaustion force me into a deep sleep.
I opened my eyes because of the bright light shining in my face. The communication device, which was in front of me, was shining a bright red light. I opened the pen and looked at it—what do I do?
"Livi," I heard Mother's voice, and I almost jumped in shock.
"M… Mother?" I called, but my voice was raspy.
"Were you crying?" she asked.
"No, I was sleeping," I said.
"Oh, so sorry to wake you up," she said.
"No, it's fine. I… I wanted to talk to you," I said.
"I sent a letter to the Vermilion kid in your dorm, so I thought you'd feel bad if I didn't contact you," she said.
"Oh, I… uh… I feel pain," I said.
"Are you hurt?" she asked, and I could hear the worry in her voice.
"My stomach hurts, and I'm bleeding," I said. "I think I'm menstruating, but I don't know what to do," I said.
"Oh, honey, I should have thought of this possibility," she said. "I'll send someone there now, okay?" she said.
"Okay," I said, nodding.
"I'll have to go off now," she said, and I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "Bye, Livi, I'll contact you later," she said, and the light went out.
I sat there and waited for a while, then I heard a knock on my window. I walked to it and saw Elise there. How was she there? I opened it, and she jumped in easily. I couldn't help looking down to see how she got up here; there was someone there, but I couldn't recognize him. He did seem familiar.
"My student is all grown up now," she said, waving her hand outside. A bag flew up, and she grabbed it.
"Elise," I called quietly.
"Let's get you cleaned up so I can teach you what you need to know about being a woman," she said and started walking.
...
I cleaned up and wore a sanitary pad. Elise was talking too fast for me to catch on fully.
"Take this," she said, giving me a tiny bottle. A potion? "It will help ease the pain," she said, and I nodded, taking the bottle. I drank it all and handed it back to her. "Myra was screaming and making a fuss; you seem fine to me," she said. "Get some rest, and you'll feel better," she said, turning to leave.
"Thank you," I said, and she turned with a smile.
"I have to come through for my favorite student," she said as she walked out of the room. I stood up quickly and followed her. She walked into the study and sat on the window. Was she going to jump? That's a level of recklessness I can't reach.
"Bye, Faina, and good luck with school," she said and jumped off. I ran to the window and looked down. Someone was there to catch her. I strained my eyes and barely saw the pajamas—it was the housemaster. He said something, and she laughed as she stood straight.
I just stared at them in awe. Elise seemed different. She looked up and waved at me before running off. The housemaster looked at me, then he went after her, and I couldn't help but think they looked very close.