The hall was filled by the time we got there, and we could barely find a seat. When we finally saw one, I couldn't help but smile internally.
"Hey, we saw that seat first," someone said just as we were about to sit down.
"Oh, well you can…" I started to say, but Ariel cut in.
"We didn't see anyone sitting here when we came," she said.
"So?"
"So go find your own seats," she retorted. The girls laughed mockingly and stepped forward.
"You have quite the mouth because you're latched onto an Alden, don't get ahead of yourself," the girl said.
"Let's just let them have the chair," I whispered.
"Lad, stop being disrespectful and keep walking," Bella said, and the girl tsked before walking away. Lad? Did she just say 'lad'?
"Who are they?" I asked.
"I have no idea," Bella said.
"I think she's from a vassal family of the Vernin family," Ariel said. Did they just pick a fight with someone they don't know?
"Welcome back, everyone," the examiner from the last exam came forward. "You all did your best on the first exam, but only those who passed will progress," he said, and everyone started murmuring. They didn't mention that earlier; did they keep that information to ease our nervousness?
"Before we proceed, I'd like to ask the best student a question," he said, and everyone went silent. "Miss Alden, you got ninety-eight percent. Do you want to skip this exam and move to the interview?" Ninety-eight percent? What do I do? What do I say? People already hate me, what do I do?
"Take the exam, my lady," Bella said. I should take the exam, but why? I stood up and tried to concentrate on the examiner's head, but it was hard.
"I… I will take the exam," I said. If I go out now, I'll be too scared to stay alone; it's best to stay with everyone.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," I replied, and he nodded.
"Okay, everyone, I will announce the people who passed. If you hear your name, please go through the door marked 'entrance.' The rest are to remain. This year, only twenty-nine candidates out of one hundred and seventy-two passed the first round, excluding the two who skipped the first exam," he said. He started with my name, so I was the first to leave the hall.
I walked out and entered a different hall. I took a seat and waited. I watched as each person walked in. I sighed when Bella walked in, but I was still worried. My worry only subsided when Ariel walked in as well.
"Congratulations on passing the first round," I heard a familiar voice. I looked up and saw Elise standing on the podium. "This exam will take an hour and thirty minutes. It is a one-question exam. Note that the minute you write down your answer, the paper will vanish, and you'll be asked to leave," she said, and papers appeared on our tables.
I looked at the paper and picked it up with trembling hands. I scanned through the question, trying hard to stay calm.
'Describe yourself in two words.'
That was all. I looked around, and almost everyone was already writing. It must be easy for them. The question in front of me was the toughest question I've ever been asked. I could say something like 'perseverant and hardworking,' but that would be lying, and I'm sure that is not an option in this exam.
Who am I? If I am asked that, I'll say Faina Alden, but describing myself is a big deal. I am always scared of people and how my behavior would make them react. I am too scared to make decisions for myself. The list goes on, but does that mean my setbacks are my only description?
People started leaving the hall, and that made me nervous. Soon the hall was empty, and I was left alone with my thoughts.
"Two more minutes," Elise said.
Who am I? I only know who I am supposed to be, but who am I really? I feel like such a person doesn't exist. I wrote down the only thing I was sure of and watched the paper disappear.
I walked out and saw the twins talking outside. I walked to them, and they both turned to look at me with worried expressions.
"Was it that hard?" Ariel asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"That's because you gave it too much thought," she said. "I just wrote 'glutton and energetic,'" she said, and I nodded.
It's easy for her, but that's not the case for me. I have to think about these questions hard because I still am not sure what the correct answer is.
"Let's go for the interview," Bella said, and I nodded.
We sat outside watching people go in, but nobody came out. It was scary to think about what was going on behind those doors, but I kept quiet and watched.
When it was finally my turn, I stood up and walked in nervously. I was met with five people, two old women and three old men.
"Miss Alden, take your seat," one of the women said.
"There is no need to introduce ourselves to you; that information is for students only," a man said.
"Now, tell us, Miss Alden, what was the inspiration behind your answer in the second exam?" another man asked. That's a tough question.
"It is my honest description of myself right now; it is how I see myself," I answered, and they exchanged glances.
"And what makes you think we'd admit someone with such an opinion to our school?" I was asked, and I didn't have anything to say. The exam lasts for five minutes, which means that's how much time I have to impress them.
"I don't know," I said shakily. "I… I decided to answer honestly because the question was a tough one for me."
"Why is that? Everyone has traits that they take pride in. Don't you have such a trait?"
"No," I replied. Can you please stop questioning me?
"You do know that you have to impress us to pass," one of the women said.
"Yes, I do," I said. "But things like that question are something I have to think hard about before answering. I won't just throw an answer to impress you people, just like I won't just walk away from the exam because of nepotism," I said and regretted it immediately. Am I foolish for saying my mind like that?
"That's interesting. Thank you for your time, Miss Alden," she said, and I nodded, getting the message. I stood up and curtsied. "We'll send a letter within the next twenty-four hours if you pass," she said.
I was shown out another door, which explained why no one was coming back. The nerves did not calm down; I was still shaky. What if my answer makes me fail? What if I fail? I wanted to fail myself before, but that has changed. I won't throw away my goal like that. I need to get in so that I can find a cure for Large Worms. I need to gain access to more research materials so I won't die again.
I am still scared that something will happen to Mother, but I'm sure my presence will only hold her back and endanger her.
My goal is clear: get in, research Large Worms, stay alive up to at least my twenties. That is my goal, but I'm scared I can't reach it, and I'm scared of being left alone again. Who is their nemesis that staying is dangerous? Why can't I know?
I got down from the carriage the moment we got back and walked inside. I was walking upstairs when I heard my name.
"Livi?" I turned and was met with a welcoming smile. Don't smile if you're going to leave me too.
"Mother," I said, turning back.
"How were your exams?" she asked as I approached.
"Fine," I replied.
"I heard you took the exams even after you were told you could skip," she said, and I looked down. "I'm not scolding you. I am trying to say that I'm proud of you, Livi," she said, and I looked up, surprised. I thought she was angry that I took the exams. It's surprising that she already heard of it when I took the exams just a few hours ago. Does she also know of my answer in the second exam?
"Thank you," I said.
"Go freshen up and come down for dinner. You haven't eaten all day," she said, and I nodded, turning to leave.
I don't want her to go. What if she leaves and something happens?
I am glad she's not angry, though. Everyone already hates me for taking the test. Next time I see Bella, I'll ask her why she told me to take the test. Was there a significant reason why I had to take the test? I would have said yes, but the fact she told me to makes me curious if Mother wanted me to take the test from the beginning. Would she have been angry if I didn't?
There were so many questions in my head and no one to answer because I couldn't ask.