It hurts, my chest hurts. I looked around the dark room I was locked in and closed my eyes slowly.
"Faina," I heard his saccharine voice call from behind the door. Why is he here now? They were supposed to be in the capital for a ball.
The door creaked open, and I heard footsteps approaching. He's not alone? If they team up to hurt me, I don't think I can take it. I sat up, but my eyes hurt too much to open.
"Tell Faina what you told me," he said, and I opened my eyes slowly. The physician was standing beside him, looking beat up. Oh no!
"T-The lady has a rare flu called Large Worm. It wasn't discovered sooner, so it has reached an incurable phase," the physician said.
"Did you hear him, Faina? He's lying, right?"
"Y-Yes, he's lying. I'm not…" I couldn't finish my statement because of a series of coughs that hurt more with every second. The more I coughed, the more my chest hurt.
"You heard her. She said she's not sick, so tell me what is wrong with Faina," he shouted.
"I-I already told you, she knows she's sick. I told her the last time I was here that I was going to tell you, but she begged me not to. I couldn't bear to watch her die slowly, so I told you," the physician said. This foolish physician. He knows of the physical abuse I experience, so why did he have to tell him of all people? I can handle his sister's painful affection, anything but his so-called affection.
"He's lying, please," I pleaded.
"You hid something so important from me?" he asked.
"I-I didn't mean to. I-I was going to tell you," I pleaded, climbing out of bed to kneel down.
"You are my sister. It is my job as an elder brother to watch after you and make sure you're okay," he said.
"I'm sorry," I pleaded.
"It can't be helped. It is also my duty as your brother to discipline you," he said, and my breath caught.
"I-I understand," I said, resigning myself to my fate. I know that I can't change my fate, so I'll take whatever is thrown at me, even if my weak body can't handle it.
"You have grown to be a good girl, Faina. I'm proud of you," he said.
"Sir, I don't think she can take any more pain than the one she's experiencing now." Please stop talking, you'll only add to my 'discipline.'
"Faina, do you think I'd hurt you?" he asked.
"No, you only want to discipline me for my mistakes," I said, reciting my rehearsed words, words I've been saying for years.
"Exactly," he replied. "I have an engagement somewhere. Start her treatment immediately," he ordered, turning to leave. "Faina, I'll deal with you when I get back. Don't think you're off the hook," he said.
"Yes, brother," I replied. The moment he shut the door, the physician came to my side and helped me up.
"Ma'am, I don't know what to do. I told you to start your treatment when we found out about your illness a year ago, but you refused. I can only ease the pain a bit, but as things are, you won't last long," he said.
"I don't need any treatment, just leave me alone," I said, wincing from the pain in my chest.
"I'll get your medicine prepared. At least let the time you have left be less painful," he said, walking to the door. "Poor child," I heard him say as he walked out.
I lay down slowly and looked at the ceiling. Tomorrow my torture continues. If that physician had kept quiet, I'd have to deal with his sister tomorrow, then his youngest brother the day after, but now I have to deal with him.
I opened my eyes and looked around my room. Did I fall asleep yesterday? I tried standing up, but it was impossible.
"You're finally awake," I heard the physician's voice.
"..."
"You fainted and were out for a whole day," he said, sitting on a chair close to the bed. Why did I wake up? "Rest a little. I won't tell anyone that you're awake," he whispered, and I nodded, closing my eyes.
"Lady Faina?" I heard someone's voice. "Oh my, she's finally awake," the person said, running out.
"Hold on," the physician called, following the person.
I turned and looked outside. I was sore, my chest hurt, breathing was hard, and my throat was dry. Everything was hard. I could hear my hard breathing, even through the ringing in my ears caused by the deafening headache. Everything within my view was blurry, but I could imagine what it looked like outside.
It reminded me of my first day here, when I was awed by the beauty, when I thought this place was my redemption, and when I decided to never look back at the paradise I called hell.
"I am so sorry… you… drink… help," I could barely make out what the physician was saying. I just let him sit me up and pour the liquid into my mouth. Swallowing it was like swallowing a rock with sharp edges that pierced my throat.
"It… It hurts…" I managed to get out.
"I'm so sorry," he said, forcing me to stand up. "Your brother summoned you," he said. Everything started spinning, and the physician had to hold me so I wouldn't fall.
We walked out, but I couldn't see clearly and couldn't figure out my bearings. The physician let go and left. I waited a few seconds for my eyes to clear long enough to tell where I was.
"Faina, I can't believe you're sick and you didn't tell me. It's all because of brother's harsh love, right? I know he adores you the most, but he takes it too far," I heard a voice I didn't want to hear—his sister's. I should curtsy now, or they'd get angry, but I couldn't move my body.
"Faina," he called. My chest became tight, and I couldn't breathe any longer. I coughed hysterically and fell on the floor, holding my chest. "What is wrong with you? Get up," he shouted, and I tried forcing myself up only to fall again.
"I'll call the physician," she said. The physician came to my side to examine me.
"I told you that any treatment she receives now will only backfire," he said, sounding nervous. "You had let me monitor her condition like I asked…" I tuned them out and focused on breathing. The coughs didn't stop; it was just painful. "Faina," the physician shouted, and I opened my eyes slowly. "You have to stay awake long enough for me to stop the seizure," he said, but I couldn't.
He kept doing whatever it was he was doing, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open.
"Faina," he shouted again, and I opened my eyes. "You can do it, just try," he said. I cannot do it; my eyes are too heavy for me. A cold sensation filled my body, and I closed my eyes, finally giving in to the darkness that was calling me, and honestly, I craved it.
"Faina, Faina," he shouted, but I couldn't open my eyes anymore. It felt like a door had been shut and locked from the other side, so I couldn't go back.
I opened my eyes to my surprise and looked around. The pain was gone, the heaviness was also gone, and so was the house. I was in a house that seemed very familiar yet foreign. I stood up and looked around the small beat-down cottage; everything just seemed so familiar to me./
The door opened, and a man with black hair and dark eyes walked in. My breath caught at the sight of the man. I looked around the cottage again, and realization dawned on me.
There were two small rooms with broken doors, a fireplace that had water leaking from a place best known to it, the scratch marks on the wall, the empty bottles lying around, and the bloodstains on the wall—my blood. It was all too familiar; it was too real. Did they send me back here? Is this a dream?
"What are you staring at?" he asked, looking at me with a look of disgust.
"N-Nothing," I said, stepping back, but I tripped on a bottle and fell. He sucked his teeth and walked to his room, banging the already tired door.
What is going on? I walked to the place I remembered to be my room and looked around. It was still the same—no windows, one broken mirror by the corner, torn books under the rat-infested futon, and a piece of spoiled bread for emergencies. This is definitely that place, my hellish paradise. But why don't I feel sick anymore?
I walked to the broken mirror to see if I still looked sick, and the sight in front of me, even though it was distorted, made me fall back in shock.
"Stop with the noise, stupid," I heard from the other room.
"Wha…" I tried talking, but my voice cracked. That was seconded by a loud growl. What was that? I looked down at my stomach and let out a sigh; this was my anthem back then. The main surprise is, why am I 'back then'?