The pool party on the cruise was exactly as Carmen had envisioned—noisy and packed.
Standing on the upper deck balcony, she watched the thick crowd below, devoid of any room to move or breathe. Carmen couldn't help but flinch, fearing getting lost in the sea of sweat, booze, and pulsating music.
This was clearly not the place she belonged. The last time she found herself in a similar setting, she had gotten extremely intoxicated and ended up passionately making out with Simon in the back of his car. That encounter had sparked yet another source of stress in her life, one she didn't want, but found herself unable to resist.
Tonight, she had no intention of swaying like a drunken palm tree or being trapped in someone else's arms. She was here because Molly didn't want to go alone, and she was hoping to see Simon so they could finally have the talk that had been giving her anxious butterflies in the pit of her stomach since she made up her mind.
Truth be told, Carmen was nervous. So damn nervous. She didn't know what to do or how to express what she wanted to say—it was all so jumbled in her head. She used to believe she had it all worked out, that she would come clean and tell him what she wanted, but now that she was finally here, seconds away from tracking him down and tugging him to the side so they could talk, she felt like a fish out of water.
Breathless, as if she were dying.
"Oh, look at you," Molly sang softly by Carmen's ear, causing Carmen to startle at the sound of her voice.
"What on earth?" Carmen's heart raced as she placed her hand over it, frightened. "Seriously? Do you get some sick thrill out of scaring the living daylights out of me?"
Molly smirked, her eyes flashing. "Oh, chica, it's all in good fun," she winked at Carmen. "Consider it a friendly reminder that life's full of surprises. Besides, watching you jump like a kangaroo on caffeine is pure entertainment."
"Ha ha!" Carmen rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "It was not funny."
Molly raised an eyebrow, her smirk morphing into a grin. "Oh, come on, Carmen," she teased, bumping her shoulder playfully. "You can't deny that your reaction was priceless. I haven't seen someone nearly leap out of their skin like that since… well, never."
Carmen knew better than to engage in that conversation—no one could win from Molly, the wiser. Instead, she shifted her focus to the lively scene below, observing the large blue pool and the bustling crowd around it, some even swimming in it.
"Alright, I need to find Simon," she declared. "Before I'm out of adrenaline and end up locking myself in the room."
Molly didn't laugh this time, she simply turned Carmen to face her by her shoulders and fixed her hair. "You're doing the right thing, Carmen. Just remember that, okay? You are the master of your own life, and you have the freedom to choose—whether it turns out to be good or bad, that's a matter for later. But for now, all you need to do is follow your heart and do what you truly desire."
Carmen couldn't help but give Molly a quick yet tight hug before pulling away. "Text me when you're ready to go, okay?"
Molly glanced at the gathering on the lower deck and flashed a grin. "Absolutely."
* * *
Amidst the rampant and stirring mass of people, locating Simon felt like a task too unimaginable. Carmen had made attempts to reach out to him, dialing his number and sending text messages, yet no response came her way.
Almost an hour had slipped by as she skillfully threaded through the vibrant partygoers, barely ignoring the people who seemed to be hellbent on dragging her to the pool.
The atmosphere was a bluster of madness, assaulting her senses from every direction. She wondered how much longer she could tolerate the overwhelming clangour and the claustrophobic gathering before surrendering her search for Simon and returning to her cabin.
Carmen was also growing tired by now, so when she found an empty sitting section much away from the pool, she walked over to that place and let out a sigh. However, just when she was about to turn and drop her butt on the couch, a pair of arms came around her waist and jolted her upright.
"What the hell?" She almost shouted, before she glanced over her shoulder and found Simon with a self-satisfied smirk on his ridiculously handsome face.
"Looking for me?" he asked, lowering his lips close to her ear so she could hear him over the loud noise around them.
Carmen felt a shiver run down her spine when her back pressed against his chest. He felt so deliciously warm that Carmen couldn't help but feel her cheeks growing hot all over again.
With a strength that probably didn't feel human, she moved away from him and turned around to face his tall frame. "I called you."
"I know," he responded sincerely, his hands delving deep into his pockets. "But my assistant had my phone, and I was occupied with some preparations. My apologies. Was there something important you wished to discuss?"
Yes, I do. She thought to herself.
Carmen's eyes darted around anxiously, her teeth lightly biting her bottom lip as a wave of unexplainable nerves washed over her. She couldn't pinpoint the exact reasons behind her unease, but she remained determined in her purpose.
Simon stood in front of her, attentive and receptive to whatever words she was about to say. Yet, there was an invisible force, a lingering curiosity she struggled to suppress, pulling at her and unwilling to let go.
This man who stood in front of her was a puzzle she yearned to solve. She was eager to unravel the secrets that intertwined him with her life, desperate to uncover what had caused him to forever alter her existence.
But to be fair, it seemed like an innocent mistake on his part since he didn't know her back then. It was as if he had unknowingly taken on a job without realizing the colossal impact it would have, oblivious to the fact that someone's life was on the brink of upheaval, their entire world about to tilt on its axis.
But the lack of knowledge couldn't change the absolute truth—it had all happened. That she had lived nine long months of her marriage completely and thoroughly unloved.
"Simon," she uttered, her fingertips gently grazing the pulse point on her opposite wrist. "You gave me a choice to either walk into your world and have all the answers I'm looking for or forget about it and focus on the future."
"I suppose I did," he responded, his voice resonating with depth and gravity. "Have you reached a decision?"
"Yes!"
A fleeting glimmer flickered in Simon's eyes, too quick for Carmen to decipher or assign meaning to before it vanished. "Very well," he said, before looking around. "Let's go somewhere quiet."
Carmen acknowledged his gesture with a nod, allowing him to take her hand as they navigated through the half-dressed individuals meandering near the pool. Rather than guiding her through the crowd gathered around the stage, where a band was jamming, he veered right, leading them towards a set of stairs reserved for staff, appearing as a hidden shortcut. As they approached, Carmen's attention was drawn to a weighty door that loomed before them.
With a firm push, Simon opened it, ushering her into a narrow corridor. They were just about to make another turn that would eventually lead them to the emergency elevators when two staff members emerged from ahead, carrying a large platter brimming with an assortment of beverages and snacks.
A tantalizing scent of something buttery and sweet wafted past Carmen's nostrils, teasing her senses. In a swift motion, Simon swiped a card, and the elevator responded, its doors obediently sliding open before them.
Just as Carmen was trying to wrap her head around the change, they suddenly emerged from the elevator and were met with a smaller balcony. The air enveloped them, now carrying a more energetic breeze than earlier.
Despite being elevated far above the main deck, where the actual party was unfurling, there was no sense of unease. Her sleek, dark hair swayed in harmony with the wind, as did the skirt of her dress.
Thank goodness her dress wasn't as flowy as Molly's, or she might have found herself in an embarrassing situation.
Carmen sensed Simon's presence as he joined her, leaning against the railing and casting his gaze down at the vibrant party below. "So," he began, shifting his body to face her directly, his undivided attention fixed upon her. "What are your thoughts?"
Unable to contain her curiosity, Carmen inquired, "What is this place? It's not visible from the lower decks, I'm almost certain, yet it offers an unrestricted view of the entire front of the cruise ship. It's absolutely incredible."
A gentle smile adorned Simon's face as he responded softly, his hand reaching out to delicately brush aside the unruly curls that obscured her features, allowing him to see her more clearly. "I'm glad you enjoy it." His voice carried a touch of openness. "Before you say anything, may I share something with you?"
Carmen's smile wavered slightly, but she nodded, her eyes encouraging him to proceed.
Simon took her hand in his, pressing gentle kisses upon her fingertips. "The first time I laid eyes on you at the club that night, you were quite drunk," he began, observing a blush spread across her cheeks. "I was there for a routine check, keeping tabs on the clubs and hotels my father used to own. But that night, Carmen, I couldn't tear my gaze away from you. You looked stunningly beautiful. And utterly heartbroken. Even before our conversation began, I could tell you had been crying. Your eyes still held traces of redness as I led you to my car. You may find it hard to believe, but I never went to a club with the sole intention of picking up a woman. I've had some flings in the past, but they were all short-lived."
Gradually, he wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her closer, his gaze penetrating into hers. "But you, Carmen, you took my breath away. You may think I've been hesitant to be intimate with you, but that's not the truth. The truth is, I was hoping to find the right moment to reveal everything about myself to you. I wanted to prepare you and see if you could handle the pressure of being with someone like me. If you would consider me as someone you could spend your life with."
Simon's words were making Carmen forget everything she was there for—she was trying to remember, but her mind was melting away with how close he was, how amazing he smelt. "Simon—" she tried.
"I don't know what decision you have made. But I want to be selfish and tell you that I would like nothing more than for you to stay. I know you have been hurt, and somehow—intentionally or not—I have played a role in it, for which, of course, I will never be able to forgive myself. All I know is that the mere thought of losing you is unbearable to me."
Carmen swallowed, flicking her gaze between his eyes. "I—I don't know what to say…" a small voice managed to slip through her soft lips, a war of emotions being fought in her heart.
Carmen's mind couldn't help but wander to the striking difference between Simon and Ronin. During her months of marriage, Ronin barely acknowledged her existence, let alone showed any interest in spending time with her. But now, before her stood Simon, craving nothing more than for her to stay by his side. He really saw her, both within and without, and he made her feel radiant, wanted, and, most importantly, not so utterly alone.
But then there was this voice inside her head, a small voice that couldn't really trust him. No matter how honest and sincere he sounded and appeared to be, she couldn't forget that he had hidden things from her once. What were the chances he wouldn't do that again?
With a sigh, Carmen cupped his face with one hand and rested the other on his shoulder. "I like you, Simon. I really do," she said, pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek. She met his eyes again. "But here's the truth: if you had been honest with me from the start, I wouldn't be standing at this crossroads right now. I do want you, and I wanted a chance at love with you. But even if I agree to stay, doubts will always linger in my heart and mind—questions about what you're not telling me. Maybe I'm being a coward, or perhaps I'm just too afraid of being hurt again. It doesn't matter what you think. The bottom line is, I can't subject myself to that kind of pain all over again. I wish things could be different, but they're not. And that's why," she placed her palms on his chest and gently pushed herself away, "I have to walk away."
Just as Carmen approached the doorway, a firm grip coiled around her wrist, preventing her from taking another step.
And then, breaking the silence, came Simon's resonant voice.
"What if I refuse to let you go?"