"RUN"
My eyes flew open and I jumped up as if I'd been shocked. I looked at the window in front of my bed and realized it was still dark outside.
my bed and realized that it was still dark outside. The clock on the bedside table read 4:35 in the morning.
I started tossing and turning in an attempt to get back to sleep. To no avail, my feet and hands were sweating.
I decided that if I couldn't sleep again, I could at least do something useful. I got up and took a shower to see if I could cheer myself up. I let the water run down my still-warm skin and felt my whole body relax. Still feeling the strong drops of water hitting my scalp, I allowed thoughts to take over my mind. It had been three years since the Civil War put the United States under martial law and after that, everything had fallen apart.
All my thoughts dissipated when the doorbell rang through my apartment. I turned off the shower and quickly wrapped myself in my towel. As I walked to the door, small puddles of water left trails on the cold floor.
In the old New York, no one slept, but after 10 pm it was forbidden to leave the house. So who was at my door?
I looked through the peephole and only the print of a cap was visible: "99". Known for making urgent deliveries even in a state of calamity, they were on the verge of rebellion.
I only opened the door in a defensive position, and before I could make a move, an envelope landed on my fingertips. As soon as I raised my eyes to look at the delivery man, he was striding away, and before I could call out to him, he had disappeared down the corridor.
I took the envelope and as soon as I recognized the logo on the cover, I felt my whole body tremble.
- It can't be." I whispered to myself in an attempt to make it look like an optical illusion.
It wasn't.
- What is it, dear? My mother's sleepy voice brought me back to reality. She was dressed in her inseparable nightgown, and her hair was messily adorable.
"My mother was the only reason I didn't leave the United States, and I don't regret it. She's the only reason I've gotten as far as I have, and I wouldn't abandon her now. My mother was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, and she decided to stay in her hometown until her last breath. I respected her decision."
"It's nothing, Mom. I just couldn't sleep anymore and decided to get up for a while." Discreetly, I put the envelope behind me as I walked over to her. My mother didn't have to worry about my problems. "Come on, let's go to bed. It's too cold to stay up this late, and you need to rest."
I gently held her hand as I led her to her room. Her body was so fragile that I was afraid I would break it if I held it the wrong way. I felt my throat closing and my eyes stinging. "Swallow your tears, Lucy. You need to be strong."
I tucked my mother into bed and covered her. I kissed her on the forehead and as I turned to turn off the lamp, she grabbed my unoccupied hand. Her eyes met mine and for a moment I felt a firmness I hadn't seen for a long time. The firmness of a mother's gaze as she advises her daughter on what decision to make. While her grip tried to remain firm on my arm, our gazes didn't stray for an instant.
"I didn't realize you needed to talk to someone, Lulu," his suggestion caught me off guard. At no point had I shown that I needed help, or so I thought. "I hear you screaming at night, darling. It's killing you inside," he said. "The war inside you rages on, and you can't win it alone."
"I hadn't mentioned it to anyone, but she knew. And I knew it too."
The war raging inside me was relentless, consuming me day by day.