This was the first subject to actually say words and boy I wished we could go back to incoherent nonsense. "Hate this," the voice in the monitor said, "kill me," it begged. Long enough sensory deprivation generally had led to a form of verbal incoherence, but in this case the subject retained enough self-awareness to express.
"Yeah, I don't love this either." I said, clicking a record button. "Subject nineteen, to be subjected to the effects of Micron Particles in a shielded case."
The laboratory I was using for the project was a beautiful thing, magnificent really. No expense was being spared on the investigation of immortality. Huge glass cases with computers that held the minds of dozens of old Hydra agents who had taken the risk of upload for a chance at immortality. For all of them, it had been a mistake. Hydra left them screaming on mute, monitoring their growth and their mental patterns.
I wanted to be researching Carol Danvers' disappearance and hunting down the SHIELD documents on the crash. But instead I was in here, trying to discretely euthanize a bunch of tortured Hydra agents while also obtaining useful information about the effects of shrinking on uploaded minds.
"Do tell me if anything happens," I said hopelessly as I clicked the shrink button.
The metal box containing the apparatus shrunk down to the size of a book and I looked at it, checking its internet connectivity against my own. The internal mental patterns were gobbledygook, but that was always the case with an upload. I couldn't see any disruption in the pattern and it looked fairly stable. We'd fitted the case with Pym Particles, so it was just a matter of sitting and waiting for an abrupt shift.
When Andromeda had come back in, I was listening to the begging. She was wearing a silk black dress and heels and, in my very biased opinion, looked stunning.
"Yikes, why don't you mute that?" she said, curling her arms around my shoulders.
"It's useful data if there's any change. The inside of the box is all shrunken, so they can't tell that anything has happened. Normally, they don't say anything but this guy recalls enough to be mad that he'sā¦ alive."
"Damn, I'll have to recommend to Mom not sign up for the upload treatment. Seems really unpleasant."
It was weird how Andromeda worked. "Doesn't it bother you that Hydra agents are suffering?"
"They signed the waiver. This was a risk of the procedure. Besides, their sacrifice is helping us move closer to understanding the upload process. What's a few years of momentary suffering to the gift of immortality for the elect?"
I had no idea what the benefits for understanding were. The ordinary scientists got a bit out of the first few days and then just through up their hands and said it was all junk and noise. They couldn't establish a pre-upload mental indicator for success and they couldn't crack the way the computers represented the mind. It wasn't helping anything to leave them on like this, they were just hoping it would help at some point in the indistinct future. Even I couldn't make useful head or tails of the information.
"Anyway, go get changed into your suit. It's dinner time and you promised me a date."
ā
I had, in fact, promised Andromeda a date. Andromeda had booked us a meal at a fancy Italian restaurant and both my instinctive familiarity and the internet reviews said it was very good.
"So is this one of the restaurants you've been to?" Andromeda said.
"Yeah," I said jokingly as I took her hand, "I go here all the time."
"You just always know the best places! Is this one of them?"
"I think so? I haven't actually eaten here."
"Good," she said, leaning against my arm. "I never know where to take you."
"If it's with you, that's where I want to be," I said, leaning over and kissing her forehead. It wasn't even a lie. God. What had I gotten myself into? I should've stayed in Divergence 2009. I shouldn't have come back here. But love, as Willow once said, makes you do the whacky.
Andromeda let out a happy hum that was almost a purr. "That's what a woman likes to hear."
Dinner was, in fact, very good. We about halfway through the meal, having talked mostly about Andromeda's family drama. "Hey, saw some news today that I thought would interest you."
"What's that?"
"An American serviceman has been identified as a member of the Wakandan royal family."
Oh. Good? I guess that was good? How should I feel about that? "Wow, good for him I guess. It's a tiny little country."
"Mike, come on, I know you went to their embassy the night we were texting."
Ah shit. Right. Hydra Girlfriend was, of course, monitoring that. Should've figured. "Okay, I was banging around the embassy trying to figure out if the whole 'secret unconquered empire' stuff was true. I chase down leads! Sometimes its a dead end."
"You were a Wakanda truther?" She asked, mocking me.
"It's not that I bought it, I just wanted to, you know, check."
"What'd you find?"
"Well, their educational numbers don't seem to be cheating and their ambassadors are rude, but mostly nothing. I don't think there's any there, there. Sometimes you run things down and its a dead end."
"Ah so that's your magic trick. A bunch of legwork that never pans out."
"Well, if I told you every dumb idea that popped into my head I wouldn't look very smart."
"Can't have that."
"Right, you love me for my brain."
"I love you for a lot of things, Mike."
"I love you too Drama."
"You know we've been going out almost two years now?"
Oh no. "Yeah, of course I know."
"They just shoved me over to you when the more," she stumbled for a word, "extravagant girls weren't getting your attention. And I thought, oh gosh, this guy he's really rich and hot, he must be boring as a stone to be single. But you were really interesting! And I was hooked. When I got back to my hotel that night and texted my mom, she literally called me to tell me to get a grip."
I laughed at that. It was a funny mental image. "You never told me that before," I admitted. My mind was racing. Was there any way to abort this conversation? I wasn't seeing one. Maybe I could set a curtain on fire?
"They thought I was overestimating you because I was young and you were charming. They all told me I was wrong that you were member material. You were just an asset. And I had to keep telling them. Because I believed in you."
"And you were right." Not sure how to set a curtain on fire from here without giving myself away. Explosive diarrhea? I don't know, literally shitting yourself is a funny story but it isn't necessarily going to stop this.
She slapped the table, "And I was right. I was right about you and who you are. Mike, was I right about us and who we could be?"
There wasn't an answer to that question that got what I wanted, so I just went with, "Andromeda, you know I love being with you."
"Mike, I'm not asking if you enjoy my company. Gah, Mom said that men are dumb about this kind of thing, but I didn't think you would be. Well, she had to be right at some point I guess. Mike, are we going to get married?"
Goddamn it.