" Are you certain you won't be needing my help?"
The stowaway mind fills with contradicting choices. This woman in front of her seems to be the kindest person she had ever met.
The first one who made her feel that, whoever she was that she can't remember is not someone of a threat. There is this feeling that lies in her kindness, something that the stowaway can trust.
However, there are lingering thoughts in her head that prevents her from answering an obvious response.
" I..."
The stowaway knows she needs help. She needs to know who she is, she needs to learn what kind of person she is and where came from.
Taking the woman's offer is indeed the most logical thing she can decide. After all, being in the land allows her more opportunity to regain her memory.
[ But ]
" I am alright, t—thank you."
" Listen well. I know the mayor here, surely I can help you out of their ship. I promise."
Hearing the genuine words of this stranger somehow made her think. If there are choices laid for her to choose, what could be the best decision she can get?
Are there even greater chances that might help her?
Being in a ship full of men, where she has to keep herself hidden as a man is dangerous. Living with pirates who doesn't live by the rules. Sailing the sea that only takes her away from where she might be from.
The men that constantly stirring her fears despite discovering the shocking contrast of who they are from what her small idea of what they are.
There are more reasons why she should be asking for help, and stay in this land instead of sailing with them.
[ But, I don't feel like its the right choice. ]
" If you change your mind, I will be here in the same place."
Her voice echoes to the stowaway's mind. Wandering every part of her consciousness through and through.
Although the words are left to linger, the stowaway decided to push it in the back of her head. Not letting the temptation of wanting to seek more of the world that she doesn't know with the stranger she just met, or stay as a stowaway.
The thoughts indeed lingers, however she already made the choice.
Silence can't even fall between them despite the conversation they just had. Although it is clear that the stowaway's rejection made the woman worried, she didn't let it ruin the moon.
The stowaway learned that the woman is in her early twenties, and which named as Freya.
The maiden's name sounds exactly as what she looks like. The feeling of femininity under each syllable yet the strong and willed personification that fits who she is.
Her beautiful blonde locks that compliments her tan skin beauty. She appears to be built, as her body is equip with experience.
Though her slenderness might deceive anyone, upon closer she is well fit and armed.
The stowaway manages to analyze her while she is busy cleaning her. Just by looking at her expose arms in her rolled up sleeves.
She recognizes the scars around her wrist. A strip of line, circling into the back of it, as if something was wrapped around those for years.
Her forearms as filled with different scars, some are lengthy some are almost not to be seen.
By the look of it, she seems to have it rough in her past. Similar to her, the bruises and wounds in her body is a mark of life she doesn't know.
Freya must have been to something that is quite the same from hers. The stowaway feels like knowing however she also feels like its not her place to ask.
After all, despite the sheer display of horrendous evidences inflicted right in those beautiful maiden's arms, she smiles at her.
Continuously smiling to the stowaway, as if wanting nothing but to make her comfortable while she is in her care. And within that careful smile comes the shining serene eyes that looks at her with both kindness and concern.
Something is shining in Freya's eyes, and it making her feel like wanting to choices from the options once more.
" You're very pretty."
The stowaway suddenly said, making her blush in embarrassment while Freya chuckled.
" Not more than you."
Her genuine smile contagiously spreads, soon the two of them are blushing at each others sincere words.
Freya helps her with her dress, styling her beautiful hair, finally letting it out of its miserable state with the bad bun. She looks beautiful, the white dress hugging her body perfectly exposing her neck to the collar bone to the top of her cleavage.
The jade necklace she always had laid beautiful in the crevices of her chest. Her black hair almost touching her waist, the waves of its curls dangling with elegance.
The little rouge the old woman had put in her lips gains the attention of the whole set. She couldn't believe she could look like this at all, as if she doesn't recognized herself.
" See, not more than you."
The more she looks at herself in the mirror the more she cant comprehend her beauty, she somehow remembers the face of the woman in front of her yet no memoires arrive.
For a small reason, not most people would understand, but that small reason made her happy, for once.
Here, she felt freedom from the tightness of her secret.
"Beautiful."
Freya can't help but admire her. The gasp in her mouth clinging into the air, shocked at the beauty that the woman is blessing her sight.
At the same time, feeling the guilt of not being able to help this maiden-thinking that she might be sold later on. The fate of being a woman in a pirate ship is either to be sold as a slave or in a brothel, or being a slave for the pirates themselves.
Although the stowaway had already assured her the otherwise, there is no assurance of what could pirates be thinking. After all, they are criminals in the first place.
" Beautiful."
Freya repeated, looking directly at the reflection of the stowaway, unable to take away her eyes at the magnificent view of her appearance.
The light yellow dress that compliments her skin, almost as white as her. Her rosy cheeks as she tries to not react to the compliment, the hazel eyes that sparks at the way she looks, absolutely stunning.
" I feel…"
She said, awe at her own sight. Her hands slowly brushing the dress, from her chest to the skirt. Feeling the fabric in her skin, the texture sliding through her fingertips smoothly.
[ This feels like me. ]
The stowaway keeps on repeating her words in her mind, her reflection staring at her as if it is something she is not supposed to see.
[ Will this be alright? ]
Her eyes widen and a gasp emitted in her lips as she looks at herself once again. A tearful look stretched in her face as she couldn't look at her state anymore.
" What's wrong?"
Freya asked, almost frantically searching her eyes to know what is going on.
" Don't you like the dress?"
" No, no. I, I love it. Thank you."
She immediately said, shaking her head to clarify that it isn't the dress that is bothering her.
In fact the dress makes her feel as beautiful as she thinks she could be. It feels surreal to see herself in that image, however its the reality that makes her feel scared.
"I'm..."
Remembering how she is not supposed to be dressing like this. She is supposed to pose as a man. Her heart aches as she stared at the woman in the mirror. Taking all the images in her mind, knowing full well this won't end long.
She will eventually go back to what she is earlier. In the ship, she is a man. In the ship, she is someone she is not for the sake of her safety.
[ I can't leave like this, I can't be. ]
The stowaway can't help the tears in her eyes, admiring herself once more before trying to take the dress off.
" I'm not supposed to look like this."
The stowaway voice lowers, her eyes avoiding her own reflection as if the image breaks her.
Freya looks at her confused and worried, not knowing what to respond. All she can do is watch her, the light that sparks around her slowly disappearing.
" I can't l—let them k—know..."
" They won't mind."
Freya is about to say something, but Calev beat her up to it when he suddenly went inside the dressing room.
The combatant's appearance appears at the back of her reflection in the mirror.
He looks stunned about her, his eyes can not leave her figure. As if he is set to continue looking at her no matter what, the stowaway who is in front of her is on par with nobody in his eyes.
But it is the strings that pulls his heart. The painful feeling of pull that makes his thoughts replaced by worries and anger. He feels that sudden uncomfortable feelings that won't put him at ease if he can't see her.
Seeing her in that dress but with that look, he understands the sudden instinct to see her. Despite being told by the stowaway to stay outside, he can't hold himself.
The stowaway looks at herself in the mirror with nothing but tears she can give. He feels that pull once again, and as he realizes what is it that is bothering her.
By just watching her, he too harbors her own feelings, he too feels the sadness in her as if its his.
" They won't mind." He repeated.
Quickly, they turn around, both of the woman looking at the combatant in surprise. Freya has a careful an cautious stance next to the stowaway. The protectiveness irks the combatant.
" She is still changing, it is quite inappropriate for you to enter."
Freya scowled at the ill-mannered combatant. Although Calev also feel the way towards Freya, distaste. He decided to ignore her.
" Its alright."
The stowaway sighs, her eyes glistening with tears as she looks at him yet smiling when she turn to look at Freya.
"I am thankful for this dress and your effort Freya, but I can show them this."
She sadly said, making Freya quiet.
"I'm sorry for wasting your efforts." She smiled weakly.
" Why?" Freya's question hangs on the air.
The concrete confusion amid her usual high voice, it deepens with sheer concern. The concerning effort of wanting to understand the complete context.
The stowaway looks at Calev, his jaw clenches at the sight. The unexplained feelings once again coming out, the only thing he knows is that it pulls painfully.
" A wench is not allowed in the ship."
Freya looks a bit detached upon hearing her words. The complete explanation of the context coming into her all at once.
Freya glances to the combatant, wondering the reality of the situation between them. The thought of the stowaway being under the mask of pretense as well as the idea of the man in front of them is protecting that secret.
She feels like she is being betrayed to see such pirate who is seen to be different from what she knows and met.
In front of her is a man, a pirate with nothing but concern not only in his eyes but in his actions.
With just that, Freya finally understand what is it that is about them. Why the stowaway, despite not having any memories, despite clearly needing help, still chose to reject her offer and choose this one.
A pirate and a stowaway, with a secret between them.
Freya watches as he strides closer to her. He reaches out to wipe the tears that has rolled in her cheeks. His thumb gently guides itself to the smoothness of her cheek, wanting nothing from now on but to always wipe those sadness from her-or better yet never ever seeing those tears in her eyes one more time.
The sight is unusual to her.
[ Pirates are not good people. ]
Freya has to remind herself while witnessing the two.
" I'll leave the two of you."
Freya took it upon herself to leave the stowaway with the pirate even if she doesn't trust him even once. However, it is the scene in front of her that allows her to understand that those two needed to be alone.
Whatever that is bothering the stowaway, for the fact that she is pretending to be a man is something that she wants to know but she is aware it is not the right time for her to ask.
She is still worried, that is the most honest she can get. The stowaway situation is not new to her. She has witness this before, many times more. A helpless woman in the grasp of a strong man, taking advantages of her emotions and using it it get a hold of her.
Freya can only hope, that whatever it is that she is seeing in thios man is real and not a sick manipulating trick to completely lure the stowaway in.
She is just only a woman, who has expereicned the evilness of pirates before, who is hoping for a naother woman's safety and freedom.
[ Pray tell, that pirate can see the fear in those hazel eyes. ]
To Calev, he tears feels like a stab to him, in each streak he feels the pain that was forcing their way towards him. Calev feels sad, but his demon felt the rage after seeing her tears.
It is hard for him to control it, especially at the sight of her but he tried his best.
She steps backward to enter the private room and take off the beautiful dress. Only to haltin her steps when she takes a glance in the mirror. Taking another minute to fully register how she looks by being herself knowing she will neve see it again.
"Worried?" Calev finally spoke.
She nods, a bitter smile appearing in her lips as she examines her reflection more.
She can't go back to the ship looking like this, the crew will never let a woman in the ship, they won't want a bad luck with them.
"Wench." She sternly whisper to her reflection.
"I'm already grateful and willing to accept whatever the quartermaster provides. You didn't need to bring me here."
She tried to smile while watching Calev through the mirror.
"You were longing." He objected, trying to point out her obvious desire.
"Yes, stupid of me. I shouldn't have such silly thoughts."
The painful smile she has made the combatant scowl. The beauty of her smiling face flashes in his eyes, showing a depicting contrast with what she looks now.
"You can, they don't care."
Although Calev is somehow relieved to have the secret remained as a secret, he can't erase the look of sadness and longing in her eyes. Despite having an unexplanable desire to just keep it between them that she is a woman, living in the den of men, Calev wants her to live being as herself.
"Promise."
A promise of a pirate is a heavy one, as they are known to be an embodiment of trickery. Calev's words and promises somehow got her attention, yet she was still full of worries.
"Believe me, the captain doesn't mind a woman on board." He said.
"Then why did you not say anything?"
She asked the question she had been carrying ever since.
Calev never opened his mouth about her secret which made her wonder all the time. To her, the combatant seems to be a loyal men of the captain, he has manyb reason to tell anyone about it.
"Wasn't mine to share." He replied, not wanting the stowaway to know the real reason.
Surpsingly, the only reason he can come up with is that, he is worried that the men in the ship would bother and throw themselves forcefully to the woman that had been running his mind.
" Is it really alright?" She asks again.
Calev smiles at her, probably the second time she has seen him do so. As rare as it is, it looks inviting.
His dimples governing the side of his mouth, showing the change of his aura and face as his eyes soften with the smile. The stoic and ever so brooding man has never look so friendly.
The new look she sees in Calev, might have help her to ease her worries and feel confident with herself. Although there is a heavy though that resides in the back of her mind, Calev helps her through it.
It is a decision she made, the second choice she chose. Rejacting Freya might not be the most ideal thing someone can do, that offer afterall can indeed help not only learn about the world but also help to identify herself.
When the two of them left the drapery, Freya had an apprehensive look. As if she is uncertain whetherb it is alright to leave the stowaway with her own decision. However, despite that Freya still manage to smile at her and reminded her the offer.
The stowaway is genuinely grateful to meet someone like her. In the first island she visited, Freya left a great impact to her. To the stowaway, it is her kindness despitye the roughness in her personality that will reminded her of Freya.
Not only that she is willing to help her, she is also understanding to let her have her choice. The choices, two which she decided with Calev on her mind.
She decided to stay on the ship and leave the drapery with the dress she is anxious to wear. The feeling of her heavy secret hanging around the hem of the skirt. Her heart beating fast. Not used of being seen with her hair laid undone, her figure to be seen in the crevices of the shapes that hugs her body.
The people across the streets feels like staring at the beautiful maiden beside the known combatant of the mad treasure. Surreal in their eyes, the mind wishes for her safety—not knowing what is going on.
"What took you lots too fucking long?"
Hakim raises his voice when they finally sighted Calev who was walking back to where they agreed as their meeting place.
The shift of his mood is noticeable, yet no sign of changes in his face, just the slight glint in his eyes.
" Did he get laid?"
Argus snickeres a joke and earned a wack from the quartermaster.
The combatant shrugs casually. Beside him is a woman they don't recognize. She walks as if she is chasing him desperately. A fearful expression in her face, her soft voice calling his name.
" Take 'em!"
Hakim tosses a heavy bag of potatoes to the combatant which he catches with ease.
"Where is the wimp? Let him carry these, they aren't as heavy as those."
Elijah orders, his voice laced with annoyance; getting angry at Hakim's constant whining and Argus fucking jokes that only annoys him instead of making him laugh.
"Calev, please wait!"
A soft voice finally bearing familiarity as she got closer to them. They all look at the woman next to Calev, dressed in light yellow florals. The wind brushing her hair with elegance, her skin shines with the rays of the sun, a force and awkward smile is offered to the men yet still beautiful.
Uncertainty is seen in her eyes yet she looks so beautiful for anyone not to look.
"You got yourself a beautiful lady"
Argus exclaims, feeling the unfairness of the world as he remembers the times women brushes him off like he is some kind of unwanted man.
" Yup, definitely got laid."
Hakim playfully commented, calling back to Argus joke earlier.
"Uhm..."
She whispers to Calev, unable to take in the intensity of their eyes in her new appearance.
[ This is where I will be laid, rested in certainty, no peace. ]
She feels like crying.
"The quartermaster said to carry those. Don't worry, it isn't that heavy."
Calev motions to the small bags of spices placed carefully on the ground.
Her eyes never left the astonished three men who watch her as she steps closer to the man.
" Uhm, they are not blinking Calev."
She merely smile, her lips quivering with fear, voiced small and low, hoping she won't earn a scolding from the quartermaster.
[ What will the quartermaster do, if he realizes a bad luck has stowawayed in the ship. ]
" Calev?"
She almost cry, uncertain of her fate.
The three men squint their eyes at the woman, still unable to recognize the face of the stowaway.
" Oi, mate."
Argus whisper with pure surprise yet confused voice. His eyes not leaving the woman, carefully examining her whole figure as if one blink he will miss something.
" Tha...that jade."
Hakim pointed out, sluttering w2ith the sudden realization.
Their eyes lands on the familiar necklace. The stowaway has the same necklace, an exact copy.
" Blimey!"
Argus gasps, dropping he box of apples he was carrying on the ground. It rolls across the streets,
Hakim's mouth hangs wide, eyes almost threatening to come out his sockets,. The question of his captain from that night ringing in his mind.
The question of his suspicions over her not looking and being anywhere near a man.
Elijah being enchanted by the beauty in front of him finally spoke although stuttering as he did.
"Yo....You're a—"
"Woman."
Like a secret needed to be kept, the two of men beside him whispered, shockingly looking at the anxious maiden.
"A goddess."
Elijah finished.