After that nerve wrecking meeting of the Mad Treasure's crew, and buying her place in the ship. There is no time and place where relief greets her. No matter what, she will always feels like in every second she is here in this huge ship, living amongst pirates and pretending to be a man, her worries only grows as another one drowns her mind.
[ "Women are deemed bad luck in the ship." ]
Calev's words echoes in her mind. Repeating itself until its all that she can hear, until it is embedded in her head like a prayer she is supposed to memorize.
She looks at him remembering his words at the galley. Unsure of how the people in the crew of the ship would react if they found out about the bad luck is among them. She just earned the pity of the captain of this ship—technically buying it. If the truth comes out, what will happen to her?
[ Will they kill me for it? Will they throw me out? ]
Surely, those pearls are enough to get her out of such misery; that is her only hope. She doesn't know what the punishments are for lying in this ship, or what happens to woman on board. If she is to be found out, what will happen to her?
[ They are not killing me right? If that's the case, isn't being thrown out muich better? But if that happens, where will I go? ]
"Am I going to be thrown out?" She asks meekly, looking at him with worried eyes.
Calev stares at her with confusion, averting his attention from treating her wounds. He suddenly feels the strong pull inside him again. The worry and fear in her eyes give him an unpleasant reaction.
"Captain is not superstitious." He simply shrugged, always the small talk he goes with.
She nods and swallows the lump on her throat. She is still unsure of her fate even if the captain himself assures her that she won't be tied up in the mast anymore and won't be treated like a prisoner. However worry still consumes her, together with fear.
[ There is no day that worry won't consume me. ]
"But the... how about him?"
She continued, her mind wandering to a certain person.
The person who wants her off the ship since the very beginning. The sapphire eyes that always darkens whenever he look at her. The certainty of his judgment about her, his trance, his voice, his eyes.
Elijah just scares her so much.
"The quartermaster."
She finished when Calev stares at her, trying to understand what she is saying.
He shrugs again in response, fully turning his attention to the wound in her left leg, ignoring the girl's concern.
"He's not the captain."
He just muttered while applying some herbal ointment he grinded earlier.
And,
"I'll stop him myself."
He continued, surprising himself hoping she didn't hear him.
He took himself by surprise, not expecting that such a promise is capable of coming out of his mouth. It's unexplainable on his part, that despite the foreignness of the words lying strange in his tongue, it feels right.
As if this person, completely unknown from his whole life, is recognizable by someone within him. There is just something about her that reminds him of someone he doesn't even know.
Similar to her situation, Calev has no memories of his past-or at least he chose not to remember it. His life that he knows is the cruel and barbaric venture of survival between himself and his demon, that made him forget everything about him.
Everything is blurred in his life, the memories of which visit him through his dreams are served with no explanation.
Yet she reminds him of someone.
Although her mind wander long, her eyes can't take itself off from Calev and his actions. She remembers how quiet he was in those two days, barely speaking a word to her while she was under his watch. Nothing has changed, he still never talks but seeing him do this things quite left an impression on her.
She doesn't remember most of the things so she wonder if pirates are supposed to be kind. To her conception, pirates are the people that do violence motivated crimes, looting every ship and towns, selfish and cruel.
In the closed memories of hers that allows her to gain knowledge of the world but her life, she did not expect such gentleness and kindness from the man that she heard to be the most fearsome one.
The stowaway has no intention of believing such words from what she has heard when all she has witnessed from this mind are pure goodwill. He could have acted the same way as the quartermaster, or perhaps he could have just ignored her but he acted differently from everyone.
Is it because it was ordered by the doctor, or did he pity her?
They do share the same situation, and perhaps the reasons why this strange pull that made him act so much different for her, is because he sees himself in her. No past and memories, he just simply sees himself in her.
" I heard…" She swallows the lump in her throat, shaking at the courage she found.
" I heard, you have no memories."
Calev has no answer.
" It's scary, isn't it?"
The stowaway continued to talk, looking at nothing but her hands that are trembling either from fear or sadness.
" Not knowing who you are."
He did not answer.
But in that moment, he realized that the one who recognizes her is not him. In the words of her that greatly affected his composure. The pull that he has been feeling becomes stronger, finding her crushing feelings and emotions fueling his anger. The anger that has been kept by the beast inside him. As if it is a cry for help, that demon recognized what he couldn't.
And that shall remain.
...
In the turmoil of her adjustment in the ship, the fear that is not subsiding any time soon. Two days had passed since her recovery, and while she is still technically a patient as per instruction of the doctor.
She is not given any further wordings from the captain but a tour of the ship that took away her worries for the slightest of time as she admires the huge facility of the Mad Treasure.
Argus made it his duty to actually tour her, taking her to the various cabins and vicinity as he explains all the purposes of the areas. It's a wonderful surprise to her that such a ship, ironically, is clean. In her mind, she is expecting a filthy and foul-smelling place where waste management is not a priority.
Yet the stowaway is struck in awe when she saw the cabins. Not only by the higher ranks but also the other crewmates who were situated mostly in the gundeck and barracks. Everywhere is meticulously clean, and if she is exaggerating she can see the glint of shine in every nook of the ship. Through the walls and floors, every object displayed, the crevices of the interiors, questionably and impressively well-kept and unsullied.
Despite her distasteful reactions to the sickbay, where she can smell the herbs being cooked and the terrifying colors of green that Zeki is mixing when they get to that part of the tour. She tries to hide the reactions not wanting to annoy and anger the doctor. She still remembers what he did to Argus and Draco that day.
The sight still lives in her head, serving as a warning to never get to the bad side of the doctor.
Argus, shockingly, is so much friendlier than anybody. When at first she thought that this man with beautiful gray purple eyes and purple ash hair is nothing but a flirt to anybody that breathes.
She clearly remembers how he did not hold back from flirting with her despite knowing that she is a man. At least that's what she was portraying as-but he did not hesitate to try.
At first she was hesitant to go with Argus, Calev is the only person she feels safe to be with, frankly. However, a turn of events happened when she realized that this man just wanted to befriend her. And from what Calev has told her, Argus likes to meet new people.
She doesn't want to try and question that.
" Argus! Fetch me that hammer will ya!" A strong voice was heard from above them, a blue haired man peeking at the crowsnest with the boatswain.
" Fuck ya hammer aye, I'm with a friend!" He shouted back, kicking the hammer that was innocently laying on the floor near the mast.
" We are on tour!"
" Just for a second you dimwitt! It's fucking a pain in the ass to comedown and get it, fucking Draco forgot about it." Felix responds with the same loud voice, penetrating the wind.
" I did not fucker, you dropped it!" Draco replied, as he tried to whack the latter in the head.
" Just fucking fetch me that vile fucking shit, and get this over with. Calev need some attending with the hull, I'm in a fucking haste."
The stowaway looks at the hammer, wanting to pick it up by herself and fetch it like a dog. The truth is, the way they speaking with each other terrifies her. Although, for them they are not arguing it just the way they speak-but to her they look like they are close to jumping each other. It scares her so much that she could cry.
" Argus." She uttered in the smallest voice between their loud exchanges. Flinching at the way their voices boom with terror, she swears she is going to sob her way out of this situation.
" Argus." She whispered again, slightly sobbing as their dominant argument had escalated further. Well it did not really, but it is her judgements that continuously feeds her anxiety.
She hears a thousand insults being thrown by the three to each other. When she looks up at the two, they clearly look unamused and were fuming with anger over the uncooperative mate. Argus isn't even fazed, he started making fun of them that only made her feelings worse. She wants to cry because she isn't ready to see a fight between pirates.
Suddenly in the midst of their loud voices, the anxiety that is rising in her, the wind blew so hard that they almost lost their balance. The waves become uneven in their motion despite the beautiful weather. The harsh sound of the wind feels like a scream, and in her ears were the screams of a man who fell down the deck with a loud thud. Argus and Felix laughter dominated the whole upper deck, their small argument coming to a halt just to make fun of the younger man.
"Fuck!" He cursed when he felt the sharp pain in his back and legs.
He doens't look like he is in a serious pain, his massive body must have protected him. Rather he look pissed and is about to punch Argus when the man can't stop from laughing.
" Go to Zeki and let him treat that." Felix suggested in between his laugh.
" I will."
He annoyingly responded, but before he can leave he picked up the hammer and starts to climb up the shrouds that are connected to the mainmast. Groaning at the pain he had to endure while he tries his best.
Argus looks at her, a smile and a loud thought in his expression.
" We have finished the tour, aye." He said, and she nods in response. "
" There is one more place you haven't seen yet."
He winked at her suggestively, grabbing her arms almost making her scream by the sudden actions.
He easily sweeps her off the floor and carried her on his shoulder as if she is a sack of potatoes before she could even process the whole situation.
" It's my area."
Argus starts to climb the same shrouds, carefully managing her weight and his balance all together. His laughter gets louder when she shrieks and begs giving him entertainment. He almost forgot that this stowaway is a man, her lightweight body and her cowardice somehow takes the manliness away from him.
" You fucking shit."
Draco cursed when he sees Argus and her climbing pass him. Argus being the fast one easily outran him even while carrying a man on his shoulder.
"You piece of shit, I even have fucking fall and got injured by fucking ask you to get the hammer. And in the end you climbed on your own, you vile piece of rotten fuck."
He ranted as he continued to climb underneath them.
The stowaway looks at Draco while she is helplessly on Argus' shoulders, like a corpse moving through the actions that are not hers. Draco can't not help but smirk at how funny she looks with the fear and plea in her eyes as they locked gaze. It is as if she is asking for his help, clearly not wanting to be part of whatever Argus is planning.
There is nothing he can do anyway, with an injured back that is still hitting him with the sharp pain, and Argus is almost at the nest-that how fast he always has been.
Draco's eyes shifts to the obvious and unintentional attention seeking garments that she wears. It's the clothing of the combatant, and her size is nothing compared to his big size. But it is not the clothes that bothered him to look at, it is what it's hiding.
Due to her position, the collar of the garment hangs low, visibly showing what is inside the garment. Draco is not the most intelligent man in the world, but he is also not a man who believes someone when they tell him that a cat is a dog.
Perhaps, he might not be the smartest man, he knows he can understand things that need to be understood. He can question things that needs the interrogative. And he knows what he saw inside the big clothing is a roll of bandages that hold someone's breast.
Draco can easily thinks that it's probably one of the stowaway's injuries however, it is not sitting right.
Draco left so stunned with what he saw. He could not even look at the stowaway in the eyes anymore without showing the red shade in his cheeks. He just handed the hammer to Felix without a word and ran off like he was being scolded. The three of them stared at the direction where he left, confused and trying to comprehend what was that.
" Alright Felix, fuck off." Argus said nonchalantly.
Felix rolls his eyes, almost hammering him in the head but he got places to be and to fix. He pulls one of the available ropes in the yard and swings himself to the upper yard of the fore mast. She watches him, impressed at how he mastered the moves like it is nothing to be worried about. His hair rides the wind effortlessly as he rides the ropes, before jumping up at the yard above them.
" Woah." She gasped.
" You want to do that?" Argus asked, watching her eyes glint in awe.
" It's scary." She muttered, still watching Felix fix the top sail.
" It's not once you master it." He offered her a smile.
When she finally look at him, the stowaway has the opportunity to see his eyes in a closet space.
The radius of the crowsnest doesn't not allow them to have enough space for them to be comfortable with. A small gap between them, not too spacious that one person can possibly fit in but enough for her to avoid touching the man.
" Now, this is my turf. The crowsnest." Argus proudly introduced, telling her the importance of his area and what he does while he is stationed in the same place.
The small diameter serves as his comfort place, while he guards the ship at night. Argus doesn't hesitate to exaggerate his story, telling her the countless times that he sacrificed his sleep for the significant job. And how his job as a lookout, the man of the nest had saved the crew in numerous events.
As innocent as she is, she believes his words and listens intently. She watches the shift of emotions that only shows positively as he passionately talk about his favorite place on the ship. The talkative man has showcased the contrast between him and Calev.
The man who talks with one word, and the man who speaks a novel in a minute. He has many things to say, many things to feed her empty memories. Various stories that somehow makes her understand about the world that she knows nothing about.
Although most of his stories are something she is clueless of, she wonders about it. His words bring visualization in her head while he descriptively narrates the things she has no idea of. But despite that she listens.
Maybe it is because she is scared that if Argus finds out that she is not listening, he might do something to her. Or perhaps, she finds Argus to be a comfortable place.
Staying up in the crowsnest for as long as she could remember, sitting in the cramped space with his legs spread openly and hers tightly clamped against her chest.
Argus had just told her various things to be wary of the ocean. From the countless enemies that the captain of this ship has, to the monsters that live in depths of the ocean. Something that almost made her shudder in front of the man. With her fear of pirates, comes another fear that is no way merciful than man. The stowaway found her life hopeless.
" You have some questions?"
Argus asked her, finally stopping himself from talking.
The stowaway looks at the man, contemplating whether it is alright to actually voice out her curiosity. She search for this assurance in his gray—purple eyes, the lightness of it striking her in the midst of it. The closeness between made her self-conscious, hugging herself more to hide from his gaze.
The stowaway is actually going to deny the offer, but he sees the waiting look in Argus. As if he is willing to take the conversation further despite the time of the day being almost gone. Felix is nowhere to be seen in the mast and sails, or even at the deck.
It's been hours since they were in the nest, the combatant currently looking for her presence everywhere in the ship while she is hypnotized by the eyes of Argus.
"Uh." She cleared her throat, finally finding the time to look away from him.
" I heard…he has no memories."
Argus smirks, nodding with the understanding of the statement. The face of the referred man appeared in his mind, feeling a bit mellow at how his mate is just like her. As talkative he can be, he has no exact explanation for the man that she is asking for. Even if he does, he has no will to say anything about his mate. It's not his to tell.
" Aye." Argus sighed, picking up the seams of his pants as he tried to take his attention off the topic. " But I can't say any further."
And with that, the combatant remains a mystery to her.
Something that she wants to know, but no one is willing to tell her.
Calev.
In the time she is in the crownest with him, from the talkative mouth of Argus she has learned what happened to her while tied up in the mast with heavy rain above her. She can't believe that she was able to survive such a situation. It is perhaps pure luck or it is the exceptional skills that the combatant has. Aside from the kindness she feels in every action that Calev had shown her, she feels so safe.
[ Are pirates supposed to be kind? ]
She still wonders.
Calve remains a deeper mystery for her.
Through the next day, her wondering becomes louder. She spent her sleepless night in the sickbay around the aroma of Zeki's herbs. Her mind buzzed with how she tried to strategically plan her life on the ship without annoying any pirate or getting killed.
Calev had visited her that night in the sickbay, asking for her needs and accommodations which only worsened her curiosity about the man. And even at her sleep deprived moment, she decided to get up and leave the sickbay in the foggy morning.
She doesn't want to smell the herbs anymore, and she prefer the salty and cold breeze of the wind in the weather deck. She is hoping to be alone in the quiet morning, taking the opportunity to stroll on her own while the people are still asleep.
What she isn't expecting is the very much awake and sound boatswain, laying at the floor of the forecastle.
When she arrives at the front of the ship, he appears to be sleeping well through the thick fog. She isn't planning on running into one of them, but to her surprise Draco is never asleep when she takes her steps on his ground.
There is awkward tension between them the moment they lock eyes, the shade of roses immediately rushing to the younger man's cheeks as he remembers what he saw yesterday. Scanning her whole figure, he traverse into the deepest cranny of his mind to come into a conclusive ideals. What he saw yesterday is not something he can just skim over and forget.
Looking at her now, her presence and hallmarks can't ever convince him that this stowaway is a man. The subtleness is visibly apparent, there is no way someone would miss how delicate this "man" looks. And while Draco can concur that there are plenty of men that are feminine, the stowaway is not just a feminine man but rather he can see that she is a woman, pretending to be a man—in the least she is trying her best to be.
[ There must be a reason she is pretending, right? ]
Draco can't think of any reasons, even if he force himself to.
Her eyes are something he can't even look at without feeling the blood dominating his face after his realization settling in. He is hoping she will just leave and run back to where she comes from, but instead she takes a seat at the fife rail.
Her memories of him offering her an apple while she was tied up at the same mast that she is now looking at. Her judgments render him as one of the men, like Calev who despite looking like a man who can easily dispose her-is an actual kindhearted one.
It is a flight of risk when she decided on her own that being around this man is not as dangerous as being around with the quartermaster or the captain.
Proven to be right, her pounding heart lessen its abnormal beat when Draco speaks to her first. Undeniably, even though she has told herself that he might be better than whom she is more scared off, he is still a pirate and sitting next to him does make her anxious.
Draco, despite the strong physique that he has had the face of a young man that is not capable of hurting anyone. He acts, works, and moves like he carries the weight of the world. Manly, even when unprovoked, the voice that gets louder whenever he ends up in an argument with Argus.
However he does look like a kid being stuck in the ship as he plays pirates with his friends. His red cheeks that confused the stowaway, the forceful smile he gives her as he tries to ease the awkwardness between them. Doing his best to not scare the stowaway and answer all her possible questions that he didn't expect.
" Calev."
She mumbles his name, making Draco look around trying to see if the mentioned man is anywhere near them. However, what he sees is the disappearing fog and the beautiful blue sky and the vast ocean.
"Calev?" He asked, unsure.
" I..."
She looks at him for a moment, the words in her lips is almost not audible. Overlapping with the sound of waves and winds around them.
" Can you tell me about him?"
She softly asks. Her eyes hopeful, but doubts are still visibly swimming those hazel eyes. Draco turns to avoid her gaze, the sudden question turns to be a difficult one to answer.
" Calev. Well, all I can say is never piss him off, or do anything that will trigger him."
He leaves his words riding the morning air, a warning for the lives that surrounds them, an advice for her.
The loud thoughts of her that consist of the mystery of the man that she has come to be thankful of, just like Argus-Draco can't answer her curious mind. But a warning that he gives her makes her feel the weight of his mystery becoming heavier.
As much as she does not want to believe the word of the boatswain, it all click together with all the way the crew beside the higher rank acts around Calev.
As if they are walking on eggshells around him, he seems to be untouchable by anyone. Draco's advice does not fit with what Calev has shown her, kindness, gentleness.
" Everyone might fear the captain, or the quartermaster." Draco shrugs, she nods in response.
" The doctor might be terrifying…But the combatant? He just..."
The way Draco eyes shifts from something she can recognize as discomfort and tension, she feels like she should have never asked.
"Calev, he has always been the most dangerous one. He's the scariest amongst us."
The morning never turned to be a peaceful one for her mind after that.
That warning deprived her of her sleep again. Overthinking why a man who is seen as the most dangerous one. The man that he heard the whispers of warning across the people in the galley, trying to warn her, but he acts differently around her.
[ Calev. ]
And that added to his mystery, yet again.