Rondel.
Time passed, and I still hadn't moved from my seat, trying to figure out what to do. The light of the sun had already been replaced by magic lanterns, and the night sky was clearly visible through the windows and door. The waitresses had managed to clear tables several times each, and some customers were being replaced by others.
Anma was still sitting at the same table as me, looking at me and waiting for something. As I guess he wants to know what I will decide to do after realizing the current situation. I don't blame him though, as it's completely understandable.
As I looked inside myself, I discovered something when the spirit asked for my attention. The divinity in me was like a small puddle into which flowed tiny streams, corresponding in number to the number of believers, as I realized.
In idea, being a god could include the most familiar things: power, respect, and the like. You mentally and practically separate yourself from the masses, feeling yourself to be a more... superior being unlike the others. You are better than them, stronger than them, freer than them.
However, that last point is fundamentally flawed. God is constrained by the chains placed upon his very existence. Whether he wants to or not, he loses his freedom to do as he pleases.
As an example, the god of death cannot stop watching over souls, the god of justice cannot abandon justice, and the god of light cannot turn away from light. All not because someone wanted it that way, but because their domain is their essence.
The deprivation of choice.
And that's the part that pushes me away. I don't want to lose what I value most.
Of course, it's safe to say that no one is truly free. Everyone has their own set of constraints that hold them back. It could be a need for something, worries and anxieties, anything that makes you think long and focused. They can also be voluntary, by choice, so to speak, which is not bad or even good.
And usually no one notices the limitations of their freedom... unless something from the outside tries to reduce the boundaries of the latter. As in the case of me, let's say.
Divinity will bind me to this world, to the people who believe in me, because I simply cannot cast them off. My conscience will not allow it. A human conscience. And since that is so...
I nodded briefly to myself.
I don't need it. Not at all. I have those I want to return to, and who are waiting for me. Power, money, and status have no value to me, as I already have all of that. Tools for freedom, so to speak.
The only way out in this situation is to erase the memory of all those who believe in me. That way the divinity would stop accumulating and slowly dissipate. It would be possible to erase it from inside with 3rd magic, to close my soul from such influence, but I am afraid to provoke something wrong again. The need for me will stop, which means I can walk free.
And the Age of Fairies? It doesn't make sense. At least not at this point in this world. Mana concentration, non-human races, and the influence of magic is too high. The world simply can't survive such an abrupt transition. It must mature on its own.
Suddenly I felt someone punching into my closed field, and I didn't realize where or who.
The only closed field in this world is ....
I quickly pulled out of my pocket Tia, surrounded by a barrier, who was ramming her fists and made a very pouty and hurt face when she saw me. It looked like just a little more and she was going to cry.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Tia. I forgot all about you," I said in an apologetic tone, to which she crossed her arms over her chest, stopped hitting the field, and turned away, "I'm really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?
- Aaaaaa~" she snorted.
- Hmm? You learned that from Morgana? - I raised an eyebrow, then smiled and kissed her on her tiny forehead - So sweet.
- Aaaaaa~ - Tia twirled her head in protest, but still let me kiss her, which only made her more adorable.
- When we get back, I promise to spend time with just you, okay? Anything you want. - I said and started stroking her affectionately.
- Aaaaa~-" turning towards me, she asked.
- Sure, I promise.
- Aaaaaa~ - Tia smiled cheerfully and leaned on my arm and rested her head on it.
The surrounding people didn't interrupt our idyll, as something like this isn't new here. Even in a rather crowded environment, Tia and I were comfortable in our own world. She and I found these moments really precious, and we genuinely enjoyed it.
While enjoying our time and looking at a smiling Tia, a thought occurred to me at one point.
"Out of nowhere an outside god that is stronger than the locals?"
Tia is a goddess, right? Absolutely invincible at that, unless very specific conditions are met.
She fits the description perfectly, and much better than I am besides. But why didn't the spirit notice her presence? Or rather, the divine part of her? Was it able to sense my power to some degree, even if I am hiding it and she is not? Perhaps he took it of another spirit and didn't see fit to pay attention to it. Or is it invisible to his sensors? I don't know, I don't know. But it's worth finding out sometime.
And since I'd already left Tia and me idyll, I turned my attention to Anma, who I'd forgotten about. His face was practically carved with tension and worry. Apparently, he seriously thought that I would side with his evil half.
- You don't have to worry. It's too much trouble for someone like me," I began in a measured tone that made his face soften a little, "I can tell you didn't expect this when you accepted Zelretch's offer, did you?
- You're right. I... didn't think it would be... like this.
Well, I did. That bloodsucker doesn't do anything without some kind of double bottom. I just didn't know which one in this case. True, his motives are still unclear.
- Now, he will be looking for you, not me," Anma sighed sadly and slowly stood up from the table, "He will try to change your mind and sway you to his side. Please don't give in to his entreaties. This world must still live as it does now. The gods will leave, but later, when their time is up. Just like yours. And with far less sacrifice. Goodbye, god.
I only nodded briefly in response and watched him walk away.
It's nice to know that our views on the end of the Age of Gods are the same. But Anma isn't being very considerate. I never said anything about completely rejecting the idea of a spirit. Some gods need to retire sooner than others. And they're not the only ones, either.
Walking around town, I've heard a lot of "good" things about the same Apostles. Not everyone's as funny as Rory Mercury. There are far more...disgusting ones. I've heard the lamentation and grief of people who lost homes and family simply because god wanted it that way. And so if I "accidentally" deal with a couple of them, the Age of Gods won't end before it's supposed to. I think.
I looked at Tia lying on my arm and gently took her in the palm of my hand. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me questioningly after feeling the movements of my hands.
- Aaaaaa~~
- I suggest we go for a walk. I think we should try some local street food, don't you think?
- Aaaa~" she nodded enthusiastically, and drool flowed from her tiny mouth.
- Wonderful. Then, let's get going. - I said, and after putting it in my breast pocket, I headed towards the exit. The next moment, however, the door to the tavern was practically kicked open, and a familiar figure stood in the passageway. All activity in the tavern ceased in an instant. The employees and visitors stared at the newcomer, making it seem as if time itself had stopped. The figure took a quick look around and, finding me with her eyes, gave me the deadliest stare she could muster. Seeing her, I tilted my head to the side and smiled good-naturedly - Hmm? Are you lost, girl? And why are you looking at me like I've insulted you and your whole family?
Now the people around me were staring at me. They were wondering if I was an idiot. Some of them shook their heads, some of them looked at me with regret, but the figure itself....
- I found you, you bastard! Prepare to die! - she shouted, leaping towards me and bringing a huge black halberd to strike. Of course, her attack was blocked by the magic circle that flashed in front of me, and I only grinned.
- Well, well, well. You can't be so vindictive, honorable Rory Mercury. I spanked you in front of your companions. Who doesn't? - practically poking fun at the insignificance of the incident, I said and shrugged. Rory blushed deeply and began to press the shield with more vigor, getting dumbfounded looks from the others - Besides, it's nobody's fault you look like a little girl, right?
A sepulchral silence ensued. No one spoke or moved. Me and Tia, peering out of my pocket, watched the Apostle of Emroy with amusement while the latter trembled. From anger, of course, which was clear from her next words and actions.
- You're a bloody corpse!
I smiled amusedly as I watched the angry loli apostle through the magic circle. Rory was naturally drumming on it, trying to get at me and chop me into pieces, and her face promised me a slow and painful death.
Well, it's nice to relax every now and then, isn't it?
-0-
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