Emiya residence.
- Sensei, you're so lucky! You have a harem! - Issei shrieked, looking at me and interrupting the silence.
- О? Is that what you think, perverted-kun? - I raised an eyebrow and pointed at Emiya. - If you want to become a harem king, you'll have to go to him.
- Archer-sensei? - Turning his head, he asked.
- He has a skill called 'Eroge Protagonist' that makes him very attractive in the eyes of ALL women. In fact, he doesn't even have to THINK about doing anything, everything will happen on its own. He had a harem that got along peacefully with each other. In fact, there were over twenty women in it.
- What?! Archer-sensei! - Issei instantly jumped up and grabbed one of Emiya's legs. - Please accept me as an apprentice so I can obtain this skill!
- Damn it! This is so unfair! - Azazel expressed his disappointment and started pouring alcohol on his grief.
- Pfft. - Gilgamesh snorted as he looked at this. - What a pathetic sight.
О? Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lancelot looking at Emiya with envy. Heh. The Knight of Netori is at it again?
- I have no idea what he's talking about," Archer stated, trying to throw Issei off his leg. - 'Leave me the hell alone! If you want a harem king, you should be clinging to Romani, not me! After all, he is Solo.
BANG.
Suddenly, a scarlet spear landed near his crotch, entering a third of its length into the floor, reeking of bloodlust. He froze, shifting his gaze from the spear to me. The spear, however, caught the attention of everyone in the room. Except for Beasts, Gilgamesh, and Alaya, of course.
Did he really mean what he was about to say? Is he stupid? Ah, why do I ask. Obviously he is. Or is he trying to get back at me? Well, good luck with that. E-rated, uh-huh-uh.
- Uh-oh? I think my hand slipped off," I said making a very surprised face and shook my head. - How could that be? I wonder how that could have happened?
Emiya's eyebrow twitched, and there were some rather loud giggles from Alaya and Merlin. Even Artoria and Medusa let out a quiet chuckle.
- Fou, fou, kyu!
- How could you think such a thing? It's an accident. Honestly,'' I resented the accusations of Fou sitting on Tiamat's head.
- 'Fou, kyu!
- He wouldn't have died,' I shrugged. - 'That scabbard you're so pedantic about would have cured him.
- Fou?
- Oh, come on. He's been through this before. And as you can see, he's alive and well.
- Fou," he squeaked, crossing his arms and turning away.
While we were arguing, Barakiel had already regained consciousness and with Akeno's encouragement, sat back down at the table.
- Are you okay? - Akeno asked worriedly.
- I've been better," he mumbled and looked at her. - You look so much like Shuri...so beautiful and kind.....
And then he cried. Poor thing.
- 'Well, while Barakiel sheds another bucket of tears, I'd like to know something, Romani,' Azazal said businesslike, albeit a little tipsy.
- What's that?
- Aren't you afraid that information about your... roommates will get out? - he asked cautiously.
- Оh? Is that what you mean? Hold on a second," I nodded and snapped my fingers. - Now, it's okay.
He was quiet for a few seconds and then asked:
- Um, what did you do?
- Some sort of forced contract," I shrugged. To which he widened his eyes. - He forbids you from spreading what you've learned here. It applies to you as well as Akeno-san, Barakiel, and the pervert. Of course, that's only until I terminate the contract or authorize the sharing of this information myself.
- But to enforce such a contract, you'd have to be...
- Much stronger than the target? That's right. Why do you think I'm not afraid of Sirzechs and his lauded Power of Destruction? - I grinned and rolled my eyes. - You already know that from him, don't you?
- I see," Azazel sighed tiredly and took a sip of whiskey.
The funny thing is, even without taking into account the True Magic and the Goetia inside me, I'm still stronger than Sirzechs. The amount of mana I have alone is almost three times what he has. Solomon was a freaking monster, I can say that with absolute certainty.
And even if I didn't have those reserves, I could still take away his powers just by using Goetia's power over demons.
- Tsk," Beast I tsked in my head. - It annoys me that I can't even argue with that statement. But that Sirzechs Gremory is pretty powerful.
- Tsk," the already demon Gremory tsked. - And it annoys me that my power is hardly used in this world.
- Get over it, Gremory. My power surpasses yours," Bael said haughtily.
- Go to hell.
Well, they have their own atmosphere.
- Well," I began, clapping my hands, and turned to Akeno, Barakiel, and Azazel. - May I ask what the hell you're doing here? Especially you, Azazel. How did you escape from Nightingale?
Azazel stopped drinking and mewled. A lot. And his eyes darted back and forth.
- Nightingale? - Barakiel asked in surprise. - She's been dead a long time, hasn't she?
I ignored him, of course.
- Azazel?
- Well... You know...
- Understand what?
- I..." he mumbled.
- Okay. If you don't want to do it the hard way, you'll do it the hard way," I said and used 3rd magic on him.
What did I see? He just got her drunk, for crying out loud! Under the pretense of lunch, he just brought her very strong alcohol, neutralizing the smell with magic. In the end, Nightingale is passed out in Da Vinci's care.
- Very original, Azazel. And most importantly, mature," I smiled cheekily, glaring at him. And at my words, he squirmed even more in his chair.
- You're one to talk, Master. Your actions are exemplary," Emiya said sarcastically, pulling Issei away from him.
BOOM.
Another spear flew towards Archer. This time it wasn't the usual Gae Bolg, but his version of Scathach. He still managed to dodge, but the spear still grazed his earlobe. Emiya slowly turned in my direction.
- Did you have something to say, Shirou-kun? - I asked with a very cute voice and a wide smile on my face. But my eyes weren't smiling. - It seems I didn't hear you because of something there. Can you remind me what you were saying there?
He looked back and forth at me and the spear, and I got a sense of deja vu.
- Yes, Faker," Gilgamesh interjected, looking at Emiya with amusement. - What were you going to say?
- Ara-ara," I heard Akeno's voice and turned in her direction. She gracefully covered her mouth with her palm and giggled while looking at me. - I didn't expect a sensei who was always slacking and sleeping on the job to have such a temper. It's so... exciting.
- Noooooooooooo!" Barakiel shrieked, coming to his senses and wrapping his daughter in a bear hug. - Don't leave your father, Akeno!
- N-don't dishonor me in front of such a crowd, father! - she said and tried to unhook him from her.
Looking at that, my smile twitched. Why are they so close anyway? I gave Akeno a lecture just this afternoon, for crying out loud.
It gave me a headache.
- Okay, bygones," I sighed and put my spears away. - Azazel just ran away from his nurse, didn't you?
- Well... After I checked on Issei, I felt like contacting my father to talk and... apologize. And when I was thinking about who to turn to, he appeared in front of me," she began, pointing to Merlin. And I froze. - He said he could contact him, which I took advantage of. And then you know the rest.
- Ho? - I turned slowly toward the sex changer. - What a kind gesture, isn't it?
- M-master? - I just couldn't bear to see a woman cry, you know? I just helped her!
- Fou," I said shortly, and a fluffy lump crashed into Merlin's face with the speed of a bullet.
- Die, Merlin! Fou!
- Get away from me, you crazy beast! - Merlin yelled, fighting off Fou.
And while they struggled, I moved to the table, much to the disappointment of Ophis and Tiamat.
- Merlin? As in King Arthur's court magician? - Azazel asked, widening his eyes.
О? That's right. I didn't introduce them.
- I take it you haven't met the residents of my humble abode, huh? - I concluded, looking at the Fallen. To which they shook their heads.
- Briefly. The blonde with green eyes - King Arthur, King of the Knights. Blond hair and scarlet eyes - Gilgamesh, the wise king of Uruk. Green hair with obscure gender - Enkidu, the Chain of Heaven. The mask on her face and purple hair - Medusa, the fallen goddess. The one now being mauled by the squirrel-like animal is Merlin, court mage of Camelot. The big guy outside is Hercules. And the two Hashashin leaders are out there somewhere in the shadows. - I quickly listed the Servants, pointing my finger at them. And, of course, I didn't mention the names of the Beasts. Why would they need that information? - Questions?
The Fallen didn't move. Not at all. I even raised my hand in front of them, but got no reaction.
With a sigh and a wave of my hand, small hammers appeared above their heads, which a second later hit them lightly.
- Ouch! / It hurts! / What the hell! - All three of them shrieked, looking at me.
- Well, you were in a state of shock and didn't respond," I said with a shrug. - And I didn't want to wait for you to come to your senses on your own.
To which I received judgmental looks in my direction.
Tsk. Ungrateful bastards. As if I'd rather spend my time explaining things than having a nice nap. Uh-huh-uh.
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