[Chapter 153]
[The Price of Changing Life (3)]
Han Seohyun once said that the reason Luminous Group's direct descendants avoid public activities is not because they are sick as rumored.
─Come to think of it, it was strange.
Though mana depletion is an incurable disease, it's not so severe that you can't do any public activities just because you have mana depletion.
Unless Luminous Group was confining Yoojung...
Mana depletion.
A disease where the heart can't gather mana well, and even just breathing causes mana gathered in the heart to leak out of the body, causing mana depletion in the heart.
Mana depletion had various types and was an incurable disease.
However, it was also a disease where you could live a somewhat normal life except during symptom flare-ups if mana was regularly supplied to the heart.
Therefore,
Saying someone was sick because of mana depletion was quite an ambiguous expression.
─They said Yoojung's illness worsened in the past few years. She was relatively healthy a few years ago...
So Han Seohyun didn't say Lee Yoojung was sick.
Lee Yucheon also used expressions like her body was weak or not healthy when talking about Lee Yoojung's condition.
Eunha was the same.
He unconsciously accepted it when he heard Lee Yoojung had mana depletion.
But he should have been suspicious.
The way the two described Lee Yoojung and her lack of public activities didn't quite match up.
Until now, not even once...
They said Yoojung never showed herself to people in the political and business world except for a few people.
How could that be possible?
Even if she wasn't well, how could people in the political and business world never have seen Lee Yoojung?
The jewel of Luminous Group.
People in the political and business world called her by that name, shrouded in mystery.
Not a single person had seen Lee Yoojung except those Lee Jeongin deemed trustworthy, like Han Seohyun or Jung Hayang.
Even those who met her strangely refrained from describing her.
─Yoojung having mana depletion wasn't all...
The reason Luminous Group desperately tried to hide her existence while cherishing her to the point of being called overprotective.
Eunha could finally understand that reason now facing her.
Reality was too cruel.
Yoojung, you...
This happened because of me.
Because she couldn't see.
So Luminous Group, to protect her heart,
Only introduced her to trustworthy people.
And thoroughly concealed the fact she had a disability in the political and business world that enjoyed looking down on others.
Going back to the story─
"─What's wrong?"
"...It's nothing." "If... if you feel uncomfortable..."
"That's absolutely not it. I'm sorry, I was too insensitive. Asking about that, I must have been crazy. I was just surprised without realizing..."
"Because I can't see?" "No... that's not it..."
Lee Yoojung was right that she wasn't sick.
She was born with a weak body while suffering from mana depletion.
She was just inconvenienced by having a disability.
There was plenty of room for doubt.
But he was just excited about finding Lee Yoojung and failed to analyze calmly.
So he realized late.
That caused Eunha to be visibly flustered.
Eventually─
"─You're too pretty."
"...What?"
"..."
Trying to somehow smooth over the situation,
Eunha ended up blurting out his honest feelings without going through his brain.
Not connecting to any context,
She unconsciously asked back hearing the sudden words.
Only then coming to his senses, Eunha's face was filled with great embarrassment.
Regardless─
"─Thank you. It's the first time I've heard that except from family and people who help me."
Perhaps noticing Eunha's embarrassment,
Lee Yoojung held back a chuckle and spoke gently.
"..."
Eunha was dumbfounded at that sight.
She put her hands behind her back in her hospital gown and continued speaking.
"─I may not be able to see, but I'm sure the Grim Reaper must be a really cool person too."
An innocent voice without any sarcasm.
He responded gruffly, somehow feeling embarrassed by her words.
"I told you I'm not the Grim Reaper..."
Chuckle.
Lee Yoojung covered her mouth with the back of her hand and smiled with her eyes.
☆
"─Please wait a moment. There should be coffee somewhere around here. I'll make it for you."
"I'll do it, you rest. You just received treatment not long ago, how can you use your body recklessly like that? Just tell me where it is." "But I can do it..."
"It's chilly, so go to bed and cover yourself with a blanket."
"The Grim Reaper seems to think of me as a child. Like my brother..."
"I'm probably older than you?" "Huh? Really?"
Perhaps because she used the Elixir,
Lee Yoojung looked very healthy unlike when he first saw her.
She energetically moved around the hospital room, then hopped onto the bed following Eunha's words.
Meanwhile Eunha looked around and prepared warm drinks.
"You don't sound that old just from your voice..."
"You'll be surprised if you hear my age." "Can I ask... how old you are?"
"50 years old."
"Wow, that's really old."
Handing Lee Yoojung a warm drink,
Eunha giggled seeing her believe it without any doubt.
He was amazed that such a pure person could exist.
"I'm kidding. I'm not that old."
"Ugh... you tricked me. That's mean."
Her expressions were just as varied.
Eunha recalled the Lee Yoojung he remembered seeing her pout her lips.
The one who spent her life with him in the previous life was no longer in this world.
But traces of her remained like this.
...Thank goodness.
She doesn't seem to be in pain.
Seeing her walk around earlier, her body seems to have improved quite a bit...
Meanwhile Eunha carefully observed her condition.
Unlike when he saw her before, color had returned to her face.
Her voice also sounded energetic.
Eunha felt relieved.
Just then─
"─Can I hold your hand?" "...Here."
She suddenly spoke up.
Eunha who momentarily stiffened eventually offered his hand to her.
Then she grabbed his hand directly without fumbling around, as if knowing the location.
"...It's warm." "..."
"I remember the Grim Reaper touching me with this hand on that day I thought was a dream too." "..."
"It was so warm then... I think I was able to sleep comfortably. Thank you."
"You're thankful for everything... And I keep telling you I'm not the Grim Reaper, why do you keep calling me that?" "Well, you came in through the window both when we first met and when we met again this time? There's no one else who would come in through the window except the Grim Reaper." "There are angels too, angels." "...Were you an angel?"
"Why do you believe that?"
Lee Yoojung layered her hand over Eunha's hand.
As a result, the distance between them shortened and he could see Lee Yoojung up close.
Though she had her eyes closed,
Her eye level seemed to be staring straight at Eunha, whether by coincidence or not.
"I've been wondering about something..."
"Yes? Yes."
"I'm curious about something... Could you listen without taking offense? I don't mean it with bad intentions."
"Yes, I'll answer if I can. What is it?"
"You said you can't see earlier, but you act exactly like you can see." "..."
When she said she would pour coffee earlier too,
And even now,
Lee Yoojung seemed to be acting as if she could see despite not being able to see.
It seemed too smooth to think it was just a coincidence.
Even now she kept looking at him.
So he asked her, knowing it was rude.
To this, Lee Yoojung─
"─It's true I can't see. But even though I can't see, I can see the structure of objects." "...The structure of objects?"
"Hmm... It's hard to explain in words, but the doctor in charge of me said I seem to have a Gift related to spatial perception ability." "Ah..."
Lee Yoojung's supplementary explanation.
She said that at some point, she could feel her surroundings as if looking at a three-dimensional blueprint.
So she added that she doesn't have difficulties in daily life even though she can't see.
"Of course... I can only see outlines. But... I'm grateful even for just that." "...Did your Gift change."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. So that's how you found me under the windowsill earlier?"
"Yes, that's right. When I got closer, I could tell the Grim Reaper was standing turned around under the windowsill."
"...How far can you perceive?"
"Hmm, I can perceive about half of this hospital room."
Eunha naturally understood hearing her explanation.
Lee Yoojung's Gift had changed.
This too... Is it because of the price of
Thinking about it coldly,
The possibility of her Gift being
The Gift
But in this life, her mana was far from vast.
If her mana had been vast, mana depletion wouldn't have been a problem.
"Can I check your body for a moment?"
"...Yes?"
"I want to check your internal mana." "Ah, yes... That's fine."
Eunha decided to check Lee Yoojung's internal mana.
He gently manifested his internal mana and infiltrated it into her body.
She hesitated but slowly accepted his mana.
Eventually the mana that circulated through her body reported back to Eunha.
...Her internal mana is slightly lower than an average person's level.
As if proving the Gift
Her internal mana was very low.
Though not a problem for living.
"...How is it?"
"It's fine. You're healthy."
In the end,
And as if to replace it, she was given a new Gift.
It's hard to believe a Gift changed, but...
Should I just accept that it's possible with
After thinking for a moment,
He decided to happily accept that
Though the effects of
Moreover, the Gift she obtained in this life was acting as her eyes since she couldn't see.
"...Isn't it inconvenient?"
"Well... I'm not sure."
But the more he looked at Lee Yoojung with her eyes closed,
Eunha couldn't help feeling like his chest was being squeezed.
He wanted nothing more than to kneel before her and apologize.
But she wouldn't remember anything.
So Eunha could only look at Lee Yoojung who couldn't see like this.
"I've been like this since birth, and I naturally accepted seeing the world through my Gift. So I'm not sure if it's inconvenient." "..." "Ah, reading is inconvenient. But my brother or mother read to me then." "I'll read to you too."
"What?"
"I'll help you from now on too."
"..."
Though he resolved so firmly not to get close to Lee Yoojung,
Eunha couldn't control his impulsive emotions.
After learning she couldn't see,
He ended up speaking to her following his heart.
"...Yes, thank you."
And when she allowed it,
Eunha who could use that as justification unconsciously felt elated.
It was truly an unconscious act.
"There's one more place I want to look, can I?" "...Yes? Where...?"
"...I want to see your eyes. I'm wondering if it can't be solved with magic."
"Hmm... it probably won't work."
"I still want to look once."
"...Okay. Here."
Eunha wanted to check her eyes that weren't cured even by the Elixir.
She hesitated but eventually opened her eyes.
And Eunha─
"─..." "...It's very, scary isn't it?"
"How is this scary? Your eyes are just pretty."
"..."
"You don't know how scary I am. If you could see, you'd be startled in fear." "No way... I don't think so. I'm not... scared at all. Your hand is so warm..."
As if someone cast a spell,
Countless intricately formed magic formulas were intersecting in her eyes.
I can't... undo this with my power.
A composition method that should only exist in nature.
Above all, the moment he looked, the formulas immediately changed into new formulas.
As if saying they could never be undone.
The blue glowing formulas seemed to mock him.
Eunha forcibly held back the feeling of wanting to grit his teeth.
Then he put on airs for her as much as possible, pretending nothing was wrong.
She laughed softly.
"─I should get going now." "What? Already?" "Do you know how late it is... It's time to sleep."
"But I'm not sleepy..."
"Patients need to sleep." "That's mean."
"I just came to see if you're healthy. I'm glad you seem healthy. I'll be going now."
"..."
Time had passed before they knew it.
He gently soothed her while forcibly laying her down on the bed.
She gripped the blanket with her hand and soon made a dissatisfied face.
Then─
"─You'll... come again, right?"
"..."
Eunha who was about to leave through the window.
He unconsciously turned his head at the voice holding him back.
She was lying on her side facing him with a desperate look.
"I want you to come again."
"..."
"Hospital life is so boring."
"..."
"I'll leave the window open from now on... so you have to come, okay?"
"...Alright. I'll come again."
"Yes, please come again."
Reason, justification, excuse, pretext.
Eunha who was lost in thought for a long time in his head finally gave in, unable to resist her words.
Because it was what she wanted.
He still needed to keep watching her condition too.
☆
It was such a heartbreaking story.
But when she woke up from sleep, she couldn't remember what she had dreamed.
On a day when the cold chilled her to the bone.
That day was the same.
'─Why do you always say you have nothing to lose? Do you really think that?'
'...You know. I don't have family...'
'We are your family. How long have we been together, if this isn't family what is it?'
That day, Lee Yoojung had a dream.
Though it was just a fleeting dream she would forget upon waking,
Nevertheless, she listened to the voice in her dream.
'Don't say you have nothing to lose from the start because you're afraid of losing it. Don't try to let go of everything. You don't have to be afraid.'
'...Can I really?'
'Of course! Why do you think about losing first? Not thinking about protecting. I wish you wouldn't premise on losing. You have so many people around you Eunha, but you keep trying to push them away...'
'...'
'Me, Blue oppa, Uncle Gijun, and others... We're not staying by your side just to die. We're staying because you look so precarious and we're worried. If that's not family, what is?'
The man's voice sounded precarious, as if he would disappear if someone wasn't by his side.
It was so heartbreaking it chilled her heart.
And he was so lovable she felt like going mad.
The woman seemed to be comforting him.
And the woman's emotions seeped into the heart of the dreaming her without filtering.
"─It's okay. Everything will work out."
"..."
"I'll become your family, Eunha. I don't have family either. They all passed away when I was young... So let's live happily together, us people without families. I, we will become your family."
He was so pitiful it brought tears to her eyes.
She wanted to tightly embrace him together with the woman.
But after that voice passed, terrible pain came crashing down.
As if her heart was being torn to shreds.
"─Who... killed Gayeon... What bastard did this to a child who couldn't even speak─!!!"
"Kik... what a shame. If only this was solved... she could have lived..."
"Go. I'll take care of things here. Weren't you going to attack here? Go ahead and fight first. I'll follow right after."
"Eunha!! Noh Eunha!!!"
Voices mixed with various people's emotions.
Anger, hatred, sorrow, grief, despair, etc.
The ending of the dream she would wake up and forget was always the same.
That day too, she had to feel extreme agony at the end.
But─
─It's warm.
She didn't know since when,
But the screams disappeared as if they were lies.
Before she knew it, she was enveloped in a cozy warmth.
Especially her hand was so warm.
So much that she didn't want to wake from this dream.
'Even if I have to turn back time.'
But dreams are fleeting things.
In the end, you wake up.
She heard the woman's voice reciting with final resolve.
Soon her consciousness began to surface.
When she woke with hazy consciousness, someone was there.
Warm and cozy...
Just confirming their presence was enough to soothe her heart.
It was strangely comfortable and pleasant.
It was the same on the day that person came for the second time.
On this day too, she had a dream that put her mind at ease, naturally soothing her heart.
'I like you, very much. So much that I could give my life for you.'
'That's a bit burdensome...'
'So don't die, you idiot.'
A dream that made her feel happy.
She didn't want to forget this dream.
But she would forget everything again when she woke up from this dream too.
She, Lee Yoojung, sensed this.
"─It's okay, things will go well from now on. You'll be happy in the future too."
A voice heard then.
A soft voice stroked her head.
'I'm sorry. For making you pay a price too. I'm sorry for making you unhappy because of me.'
The voice was filled with sadness.
No, she wanted to say.
I would have done the same, she wanted to say.
Lee Yoojung wanted to shake her head.
But she couldn't move her body.
"─Thank you. For understanding."
She wanted to talk with her a little more.
But Lee Yoojung realized she was waking up from the dream.
The dream is ending.
'And you probably won't have dreams like this anymore in the future. This dream is just remnants. Remnants of the world before turning back time, and my thoughts that didn't dissolve into the world before turning back time... It's just unnecessary memories in this world.'
No, she wanted to say.
Lee Yoojung wanted to shout loudly.
But her voice wouldn't come out.
The voice stroking her head gradually faded away.
'So I am me, and you are you. This dream needs to disappear so you don't get confused with me too.'
The voice seemed to smile bitterly.
Then it said:
'I hope you live your own life. I hope I who had to watch my family die lives happily with family. And if I have one wish, I hope you take care of Eunha in place of me who can't exist in this world.'
Though she probably wanted to do it herself.
The voice wished for that person's happiness even as it faded away.
"─Please take good care of Eunha."
With that final voice,
Lee Yoojung woke up from sleep.
Having forgotten everything.
Tears that flowed down her cheeks soaked her pillow.