WHEN Haneul was a child, he had been very shy and reserved. Probably because it was a time when their family was still struggling financially. His parents were both licensed teachers. But at that time, his father was the only one who could work. And because he was only a new teacher with practically no experienced, his income was also not very high.
With him and Haeun being only three years apart, their mother had to stay at home to take care of them. As a family of four, a new teacher's income was barely enough. Both his parents also didn't have any family members they could rely for help. They basically only had each other.
Since childhood, Haneul understood the weight of responsibility that came with being the eldest son. He knew he couldn't afford to be selfish or add to his parents' burdens. Consequently, he was always cautious in his actions, determined never to disappoint his parents.
This stemmed from the fact that he once saw his mother crying in his father's arms.
He could no longer remember all the details back then because he was so young. He just remembered that a nightmare startled him while sleeping. So, he left his room to look for his mother. His parents' room was just beside the room he shared with Haeun. He was planning to go there when he heard voices in the living room. So, he went there instead.
What he saw was his mother crying on his father's shoulder and his father comforting her. He heard his mother say while crying how hard it was and how she wished things could be easier for them.
That scene became a core memory for Haneul. And since then, he had always tried not to be a burden to his parents. But it just resulted in him suppressing himself a lot.
During that time, his favorite source of entertainment was watching idols perform on music shows. They seemed so radiant in his eyes that he often wondered how they could sparkle like that. In his youthful and naïve mind, he dreamed of sharing the same brilliance, wishing he could shine just as brightly.
It was the start when he became interested in music.
But as he grew older, even when their family's financial situation became better, nothing really changed for Haneul. Although he was no longer as shy and timid as before, he still remained very much reserved. Not daring to do things that might cause discomfort to his parents.
For example, despite his interest in idol music, he had never tried to audition to any entertainment companies to be an idol. Mostly because he thought his parents would prefer him to finish university and then have a stable job.
Not that they said that to him directly. He just assumed because of how much they emphasized education and stuff. But now that he thought about it, it might be just because they were teachers and it didn't really hold much meaning. But he, being the overthinker that he was, simply assumed that was the case.
Then once the accident happened, Haneul no longer had the time to worry about any of that.
Despite his parents' considerable savings, his sister's medical condition proved to be financially draining. Even with government subsidies, the expenses remained overwhelming. Before he realized it, the savings were depleted, and he was forced to sell their home.
As he began working, he quickly realized that his reserved personality was a hindrance in the pursuit of earning money. He was forced to be assertive and cunning. Because if he didn't, he would end up being exploited. All of that he learned in the hard way.
If before, he wouldn't dare to go audition anywhere. After experiencing those 10 years, he now wouldn't mind if he had to sing and dance in front of a million people. Something like that could no longer faze him.
This was his second chance at life. With his family's accident out of the way, he could now dare to fulfill the dream that he had only kept in his heart all these years. And he knew exactly where he should start.
Boys Odyssey.
An idol survival program that would start filming in June, which was less than two months from now. From what he remembered, around this time, Vnet - the music channel set to broadcast the program - posted an announcement saying that they would hold one last public audition at the end of April.
He remembered it pretty well because he considered going to the first audition that they held. If the accident didn't happen, he might really have gone to that last public audition.
That's actually not the only thing he remembered from Boys Odyssey. He remembered most of the things that happened in that idol survival program. At least the ones that were broadcasted.
Of course, this didn't include the small details. Like the names of all the contestants and every small thing about them. But the rest? He could remember everything vividly.
Because during a period when he struggled to cope with overwhelming sadness and pain, watching Boys Odyssey provided a brief reprieve. It offered a small but welcome distraction, momentarily easing the intensity of those negative emotions.
Now, Haneul had the chance to be part of Boys Odyssey.
With fists clenched, he made a solemn promise to himself: he would give everything he had to ensure he passed the public audition.
As he was thinking that, he suddenly felt the need to go to the restroom. Thankfully, this private room had its own restroom, so he didn't have to go out. He got down from the bed and made his way to the restroom at the corner.
When he walked inside, he stopped almost immediately and just stared wide-eyed at his reflection in the mirror.