I lied to her that I can't feel the ankle I've previously sprained. She saw tht area turning bluish and unstrapped that leg and began examining it.
A cardiac muscle contraction. The first flow of control, I could feel by blood flow, the heart weakening. The second, I was going blind, my body shivering. Everything went hazy at the third attempt. I felt a powerful part of me was being ripped out from my body. I could still hear but saw dark. I could feel that I was slowly losing the connection with my toes. My breathing close to stopping. Yet I could hear the panicked footsteps around me, shivering hands on the tip of my nose. I felt my wrists being unstrapped and being injected with something. I could hear the AED being prepared for charged. It was the perfect time to act, I just need to have my will back. However I could feel it losing, going lower and lower. I could not get a hold back on. The feeling of so-called control of my cardiac muscles were going fainter and fainter. I felt the gradual decrease of my heart rate.
Maybe if I'm dying, its a pathetic way to die. However an artistic way to commit suicide.
The essence of energy when blood flowing through your heart, your brain sending signals, you muscles contracts, your eyes perceiving images, alveoli exchanging air. I could feel them all when I tried to control the rhythm of my heart. However now I have lost that feeling. Spiritually, it is said that a human body is a vessel of energy, an potential energy that binds the matter and cells in our body together. As the energy gradually diminishes, the body weakens until it reaches a point where the brain can no longer send any signals - death - the last once of the potential energy then dissipates into another plane of existence.
Shock waves evenly spread all throughout my body. And then I felt it again. The feeling of dread is gone, I can feel my heart beating normal again, I can breathe again. I slowly opened my eyes, it seems I was acted upon electrical shock once again. A terrible escape attempt it was.